


Lifeline:  Road to PyeongChang

by Denrhea



Series: Lifeline [7]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: 2018 Winter Olympics, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Olympics, Established Relationship, Future Fic, Lifeline Universe, M/M, Olympics, Original Characters - Freeform, Yuuri and Victor's adopted family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-10
Updated: 2018-08-13
Packaged: 2019-03-16 02:51:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 52,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13627050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Denrhea/pseuds/Denrhea
Summary: Yuuri, Victor, and friends try to balance an Olympic year with family and life.  This story will take the family through to Victor's retirement.  For those who haven't been reading the Lifeline Universe...you might be lost at times.  Also, Victor's Ed Sheeran obsession is real!Trigger Warning:  Mild references to past rape and kidnapping.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> In theory, this will be 16 chapters...for those who caught when I said a similar thing in Lifeline: Detroit before this monster truly got its feet off the ground, you'll understand me. ;)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summertime in Switzerland, friends collaborate while trying not to give away too much. Nina deals with medical matters.

* * *

 

[ Hearts Don’t Break Around Here ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDZLl5nn3mQ)

 

 

**May 2017 - St. Petersburg**

 

Yuuri wrestled with his daughter, fighting to get her into her clothes.  The stubborn, almost seven year old defying him every step of the way.  Finally, in frustration, he sat back and asked, “What is the deal, Nina?”

 

The pout on her face elongated all her features, and Yuuri would laugh if he wasn’t certain she would erupt into tears.  “I don’t want the needles, Chichi!  Please don’t make me go!”

 

Yuuri softened immediately, “Oh, sweetheart...if it wasn’t for your own good, I wouldn’t.  But you know we have to do this.”

 

“B-but I’m not sick!”  She was on the verge of tears, but this wasn’t a meltdown, this was genuine frustration.

 

Yuuri gathered her into his arms, smoothing out her curls.  “One more checkup, love...they need these blood samples before we go to Zurich.  You want to go see Uncle Phichit and Uncle Chris, don’t you?”

 

“I want to see them without the doctors!” she stated petulantly.

 

He settled her into his lap and rested his cheek on her temple.  She was growing tall, her weight was up, she had fallen only a breath short of the benchmark for her age, she appeared the picture of health.  No one would guess the monster that lived within her veins.  They had taken a proactive approach over the last year, the family adjusting their diet to one that provided the healthy proteins and vitamins Nina needed to be stronger.  Yuuri poured over cookbooks and nutrition sites, finding a great deal of inspiration and support from several bloggers facing the same difficulty.  Victor and Yuuri both took part in keeping the children active, especially Nina.  Regular trips to the park for as much sunshine as Russia could provide.  Dancing lessons.  Skating lessons.  Some would say she lived in her fathers’ shadows...but in reality, she was in the forefront.

 

Andrei came into the room and found the after effects of their battle of wills, clothing spread over the floor like shrapnel.  He looked from father to daughter, the latter of which remained half dressed, and shook his head.  “Yura and I were going to take you with us to the skate park after you came home but I guess that won’t happen.  And we were really looking forward to it.”

 

A small whimper came out of her lips and Yuuri looked up at the teen with appreciative eyes.  At almost sixteen, the boy was growing tall, taller than Yuuri.  Indeed, at this point, Yuuri was the shortest of the men in the house.  However, the other two learned quickly not to underestimate him.  Victor already knew better.

 

Soon Nina was cooperating and dressed, Yuuri loading her up in the smaller hybrid car he drove now for short errands and trips.  The soccer mom van was more Victor’s baby.  Finally having his license, he was happy for the freedom of driving his own vehicle.  They drove down the quiet streets of their neighborhood and over to the nearby clinic that regularly took Nina’s blood and submitted it for the tests ordered by the Swiss doctors.  The nurses were friendly and encouraging and quickly put her at ease, distracting her while she submitted to the tests.

 

Back home, she skipped over to Yura, demanding the skate park.  The blonde looked over to the older man and asked if he could borrow the car.  Soon, the three kids were gone and Yuuri had a moment to breathe on his own.  His husband would be home soon.  Glancing at the clock, he made some quick calculations.  He knew the kids would be gone a while, Andrei negotiating funds to grab dinner before they returned home.  He...had time.

 

Slipping into the bedroom, he moved into the shower to clean up thoroughly.  He then pulled out the new lingerie that had arrived in the mail two days before.  The sheer high waisted panties embroidered with flowers matched well with the matching sheer cropped [ tee ](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/379920918557058320/) .  He painted his toes and then reached for the barefoot [ sandals ](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/796011302857334694/).  He took a look in the full length mirror and smiled in appreciation.  Now to wait for his husband.  He stretched across the bed, a throw blanket tossed over his middle.  The door lock gave way.

 

“Anybody home?” Victor called out.

 

“In here,” Yuuri invited.  He rolled onto his stomach as Victor entered, pulling up his feet to dangle in the air behind him.  The man framed by the door stilled, his eyes raking over the body lit by soft lamplight.

 

“Where are the kids?” he asked gruffly.

 

“Out.  They took money for dinner.”

 

“Oh…”  Victor stepped into the room, closing the bedroom door behind him.  His jacket fell to the floor with the first step.  The rest of his clothes trailed behind him on the floor, joining Yuuri clad in nothing, his arousal already evident.  “I haven’t seen this,” he murmured fingers tracing around the hem of the cropped tee.  

 

Yuuri turned to face him, stretching out languidly.  Victor allowed his eyes to rove down the form beneath him taking in the way the tee hugged Yuuri’s body, the embroidery obscuring the view of his nipples but teasing with the rest of the reveal.  He dropped his eyes downward, his lips parting at the sight of Yuuri’s...apparent interest...framed by the embroidered flowers in the panties leaving nothing to the imagination.  His eyes continued downward, taking in the smooth legs, the shapely calves and then...the sandals.  He licked his lips as something flipped in his stomach.

 

Pulling back, he reached for Yuuri’s phone on the nightstand.  “I need to save this view, _solnyshka moy_ .”  He unlocked the phone with his thumbprint.  They had nothing they kept from one another.  Yuuri had equal access to Victor’s accounts.  There was something freeing about being this open with someone, to be able to bare everything before them, to trust them with the most intimate parts of your life.  Victor reached down and carefully positioned Yuuri’s legs, the upper knee coming forward.  Yuuri’s hands went above his head, the further hand having fingers twisting in his hair.  The picture was vulnerability and trust.  Victor stepped back to get the entire image in view swallowing as Yuuri chewed his lower lip.  Sending the image to his phone, he moved to the playlist and started one of his favorites.   [ Ed Sheeran ](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLqQR2rKU30kL2C9CA8L4hywcLzQryY2gs) began its slow seduction.

 

The dance they began in the sheets were slow, lips searching for one another as Victor sought to know his husband once more, falling in love with the man beneath him again, even if he’d already fallen a thousand times.  He swallowed with the intensity of emotion, his eyes sliding over the body completely submitted to him, the way only Yuuri could do.  His fingers danced over the surface of Yuuri’s skin, his lips lightly brushing over Yuuri’s body like butterfly wings.  Victor moved from lips to neck to chest, pressing his lips through the sheer fabric, relishing in how Yuuri arched his back to gain more contact, smiling in his kiss as Yuuri moaned softly, those lips brushing over his hardening length through the panties.  His touch and lips lowered, Yuuri opening his thighs at the slightest touch, sucking a mark into the inner thigh.  He continued to travel down Yuuri’s body, kissing the inside of his knee, sliding a tongue down the line formed by his calf muscle.

 

He flicked his eyes upward to catch Yuuri’s watching him as he lifted the foot graced by such a sweet decoration.  He lowered his lips and brushed a kiss over each carefully polished toenail, his hand moving to massage the arch of the foot, planting a kiss on the curve as Yuuri’s toes pointed gracefully.  Another kiss on the ankle as his hand slid up the calf.  He treasured each part of Yuuri but there was something about those feet of his that held him transfixed.

 

Gently laying the one foot down, his breath caught as he watched Yuuri slide that foot along the other calf, finding himself torn between chasing that foot and enjoying the other neglected foot.  However, Victor would never be accused of neglect when it came to his lover.  He reached down to the other foot lavishing the same treatment on it as the first, his tongue tracing down the arch, his kiss pressing against the heel.  Victor’s hands worked their way up Yuuri’s calf, his lips following, hand shifting Yuuri’s other foot aside as he teased the back of his knee.   A soft gasp slipped from his lover’s lips bringing a smile to Victor’s as he continued to kiss his way up Yuuri’s thigh.  

 

Fingers teased the leg elastic to the panties, sliding beneath to torment the warmth below.  Yuuri shifted closer, his breathing changing even as his hands reached down to tangle into Victor’s hair.  Victor’s mouth spent an absorbent amount of time working a kiss into juncture of his leg, leaving evidence in its wake.  He kissed over the top of his work, shifting to move over Yuuri needing to feel the other man’s lips.  Yuuri rose up to meet him halfway, his arm sliding around his neck, hand tangling into the back of his hair.  Kisses became desperate and demanding as Victor’s fingers teased the hem of his tee before finally sliding underneath, feeling the muscles beneath the soft flesh.  He dipped down into the curve of Yuuri’s neck next to the collar and worked another kiss into the younger man’s skin feeling Yuuri arch against him in response, his hand sliding down Yuuri’s back and catching the curve of his ass, his hand tightening over the fleshy globe.  There were so many parts of Yuuri that were his favorite.  He could spend hours in Yuuri worship.

 

Releasing his hold on Yuuri’s neck, he gave a satisfied smile.   _That’s going to be visible._  He moved his hand beneath the cropped tee, this time with intent.  He wanted access to the skin underneath, he needed to leave more marks on that surface.  Yuuri’s arms lifted long enough for him to pull the fabric free of him returning to slide up and down Victor’s back.  

 

As Victor dipped down to take in the rosey nipple between his lips, teasing it lightly with his teeth, he heard his lover’s gasp, felt the tightening of arms holding his head in place as he lavished attention on that bud.  Victor’s other hand slid up to torment the other between two fingers.  Yuuri pressed upward, his back creating a beautiful curve that Victor had to explore with his hand.  Yuuri had such gorgeous flexibility that it sometimes amazed him that he was the only one that’s ever been invited to enjoy this part of him.  Not that no one’s looked.  His first view of Yuuri on a pole, the night he fell in love with the man, showed those gorgeous curves, those powerful thighs.  He had the photo evidence.  Yuuri enjoyed dancing in all of its forms and he loved stretching his body to its limits.

 

Victor lowered down that body, kisses littering Yuuri’s chest and torso, some leaving marks in their wake, until he was mouthing Yuuri’s length through the fabric.  Yuuri’s breathing hitched as those hips canted just right.  Victor slid the panties over those ass cheeks, fingers enjoying the feeling of them filling his palms.  He finally pulled back enough to release the fabric caught on Yuuri’s cock, now leaking freely against his stomach.  The man was already a mess beneath him.  

 

Victor looked up to catch the smokey gaze.  He lifted up a hand, two fingers teasing Yuuri’s lips.  The other man opened up to him, sucking them in, lavishing them with an attention that made Victor’s cock tighten.  He needed in this man soon.  Pulling his hand free, he reached down to tease Yuuri’s entrance.  Saliva was a poor lubricant but Victor wasn’t going to press deep.  Not yet.  Just softening the ring of muscles, barely dipping inside as Victor lavished kisses on the head of Yuuri’s shaft.  

 

Pulling back he spied a pout bringing out a chuckle.  “Don’t worry, love...I’ve got you.”   He turned to the nightstand and found the lube.  He began warming the slick liquid in his hand before reaching down once more.  Yuuri was still fairly loose after Victor making quiet love to him the previous night.  He easily slid in two fingers now.  He opened up his lover within minutes, trading kisses in the process.

 

Pulling his hand free, he felt Yuuri’s legs wrap around him.  They knew each other so well, anticipating one another.  Victor’s hands moved to Yuuri’s hip and he eased himself inside the younger man, watching Yuuri’s mouth open as Victor filled him.  He dipped down to capture Yuuri in open mouthed kisses, their bodies finding easy familiar rhythm in one another, kisses catching gasps and moans, a language of love and pleasure shared between the two of them.

 

“Vitya…” he cried out softly and Victor knew.  It was Yuuri’s warning.  He was close.  Victor continued to push into him, their bodies held close together creating the friction Yuuri needed.  The younger man became undone beneath him, warmth spreading with his release, the aftershocks of his orgasm pulling Victor over.  They finished in a kiss, deep and searing.

 

“My Yuuri…” he murmured as their lips parted.  Yuuri peered up at him lovingly from beneath his lashes.  Pulling apart, he knew they were both a mess, could feel the stickiness of that mess pull at their skin as they parted.  “Shower?” he suggested.

 

“I may need you to support me,” Yuuri groaned as he untangled himself around Victor.

 

“That’s never been a problem, _lyubov moya_ ,” he teased reaching for Yuuri, guiding him into the bathroom lit just by the nightlight.  Victor didn’t adjust the lighting, he started the water and gathered a washcloth to share with his lover, towels already on the stool next to the shower in anticipation.  He pulled his lover into the shower and lovingly washed Yuuri off, enjoying taking care of Yuuri after as much as during.

 

As he dried Yuuri off, he smiled down into Yuuri’s face.  “You are so beautiful...how are you mine?”

 

“You found me...when I was lost.”

 

“I think you found me first.”

 

* * *

  


Yuuri was in the kitchen humming a tune and washing dishes when the kids returned home.  Nina was talking animatedly and ran to climb up in Victor’s arms to tell him eagerly about her day.  Turning to sit in his lap, her eyes fell on Yuuri’s neck.  “Oh!  What happened, Chichi?”

 

Andrei and Yuri both looked, the younger snorting with laughter, the older rolling his eyes and groaning.  Yuuri looked in confusion at the group when Victor cleared his throat and suggested, “You might want to wear a higher collar, dearest.”

 

Yuuri’s hand went to his neck as he blushed.  “Oh god!”

 

Nina looked around not understanding and feeling left out of the joke.  Yuri huffed and picked up the seven-year-old.  “Sometimes grown up kisses leave marks behind.”  

 

The curly headed blond’s eyes widened as her eyes moved from one father to the next.  Then in perfect childlike fashion, she goes, “Eew!”

 

“Exactly,” Yuri declared giving them both a withering gaze.

 

Andrei looked from one to the other then followed the other two kids down the hall.  “Didn’t you come back with your share of hickies when you stayed with Otabek?”

 

“Shut up!  It’s not the same!”

 

Victor couldn’t let that lie.  “It most definitely is the same!”  Turning back to his husband, he saw the man standing over the sink still scarlet in his embarrassment.  “Don’t let them get to you.   _Lyubov moya_ , you are beautiful.”

 

The Japanese man glanced over his shoulder.  “You knew!”

 

Victor grinned, his eyes twinkling.  Of course he knew.  He worked hard to put that mark there.

 

“You knew and you didn’t tell me!  You are such an ass sometimes!”

 

Victor snorted even as he rose out of his chair to slip his arms around his husband from behind.  Yuuri swatted him with a towel half-heartedly but Victor quickly moved past that defense with a kiss on the opposite side of the neck.  As Victor felt that body collapse into him, he supported the weight of the younger man intent on his mission.  As he pulled back, he smiled in satisfaction both in the product which he licked a couple of times and then kissed again before truly pulling back and in the man who was a mess in his arms.   _Even after two and a half years._ ..he smiled at the thought... _you’re still putty in my hands._

 

* * *

  


Yuuri sat curled up in Dr. Abramovich’s office, his legs drawn up into the chair.  Victor sat nearby within a hand’s reach if needed.  They wanted to get one more appointment in before they left for the summer.  Yura had come with them when he was working through his grandfather’s loss and balancing his responsibility for his mother.  Andrei and Nina came when they lost their mother.  The old psychiatrist had become quite familiar with the Nikiforov-Katsuki family.

 

“So tell me what’s going on these days,” the therapist invited.

 

“Well, Nina has announced she wants to change her name to Nina Nikiforova-Katsuki,” Victor stated with a soft smile.

 

“And how is her brother handling that?”

 

“He’s fine...but he still wants that connection to his own mother.  We’ve been talking about ways we can arrange their names to honor that.  Once they agree on something, we’ll call the lawyers.  I think it’s important to unify the family.”

 

“And you, Yuuri?”

 

“I’m more concerned about her fighting me to go for the tests that ensure her wellness,” he answered with a shrug.

 

“It seems like emotional belonging has become important to young Nina...perhaps she’s afraid that the tests are going to produce something that will cause her to lose you all.”

 

Yuuri remained silent for a moment, considering this.  “She _was_ given up partially due to her illness.  I guess...that could still weigh on her thoughts.  She doesn’t talk about it.”

 

“If she’s still reacting negatively when you return from your summer, perhaps bring her in and we can talk.  It’s amazing what kids will say to someone that looks like a grandpa.”  His eyes flicked to the pages on the file before him before asking, “What about the two of you?”

 

“I still...have trouble getting on elevators,” Yuuri admitted.  “I notice it more when we travel.  I think I’ve found ways around it in my daily life.”

 

“You avoid them,” Victor pointed out.

 

Yuuri smiled thinly nodding in agreement.

 

“And storms,” Victor pressed looking at him.  He knew that Yuuri would focus on the children, and then on his partner, leaving his own concerns for last, or forgotten altogether.  “The other day we had to find him after a storm hit.  The family worked together to get him out of the place where he buried himself, but...storms are still hard on him.”

 

“I’m glad we’re bringing both dogs for this trip.  For myself and to keep Nina calm during her visits.  They agreed to let us bring the dogs while she’s in for treatments.”

 

The psychiatrist smiled noting Yuuri deflecting to the kids once more.  “You don’t like the focus to be on you, do you, Yuuri?”

 

Yuuri’s eyes widened then he lowered his lids, studying his hands.  Shaking his head as he played with his fingers he said quietly, “It’s easier to deal with everyone else.”

 

“That doesn’t make your struggles go away.  You have four weeks planned in Switzerland, then six weeks in Japan.  I think you should revisit your old counselor while there.  In fact, I’m writing up a referral along with my concerns.  Sometimes it’s good to go through EMDR  programs once more to deal with things that have come to the forefront.  Desensitizing yourself to elevators and storms will make your life more manageable.  Victor, what’s going on with you?”

 

“Usually my triggers are more tied to Yuuri.  If I’m separated from him, I’m going through a list of things that might be upsetting Yuuri.  I feel better if I know he is with someone I trust but if he’s alone, I’ve got a constant feed in my head.”

 

“Vitya…”

 

“You’re my most important person, Yuuri.  If it makes you feel better, I have lists involving the kids as well.  They’re just...not as much.”  He thinned his lips and looked over at the psychiatrist.  “It’s normal, isn’t it?  For me to want to protect my family, keep them safe?”

 

The psychiatrist smiled reassuringly.  “Yes, keeping your family safe is normal.  Watching over your family is normal.  We just want to make sure you don’t cross that line into hypervigilance.”

 

“Like before.”  He looked over at Yuuri, reaching over to take the younger man’s hand.  Yuuri took the hand and unfolded from the chair, moving over to settle in the space in front of Victor, his body stretching out around Yuuri as he lounged in the love seat.  Victor drew that hand to his lips and brushed a kiss.  “It’s been a long two and a half years.  I just want you to know happiness.”

 

“I’m going to have bad days, Vitya.  And there will be days where my anxiety overwhelms me that have nothing to do with the rape.  But, you’re right, it’s been a long two and a half years.  And you’ve been there for me the entire time.  You know me better than anyone else.  I trust your instincts regarding my safety and the safety of our kids.  But...you need to let go of the lists.  You need to be happy.”

 

“I am happy...I just need the lists to reassure myself you are okay.  Let me have this.”

 

Yuuri turned his eyes to the psychiatrist.  “What do you think, Doc?”

 

“I think the lists will fade in time but it’s important to keep this conversation going in the meantime.  Now, are you ready for your journey to Switzerland?”

 

“As ready as you can ever be traveling with a seven-year-old, two teenagers, and two dogs,” Yuuri stated dryly.  He glanced over at his husband who still held onto his hand.  He knew the psychiatrist was making note of his husbands actions as well as his words.  “Perhaps we should make use of the meditation room before going home to do the final packing.”

 

“You are welcome to it.  If you want to be alone, just send Rayna out.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

* * *

 

 

**June 2017 - Zurich**

 

Yuuri sat next to the pool, sunscreen on, book in hand.  Victor had his feet dangling in the pool while Nina giggled swimming with Chris who would randomly toss her up in the air to hear her squeal.  Phichit dropped down into the chair next to him, lemonades in hand.  “We are so glad you are all here.  Grand-maman regretted so much missing you.”

 

“She regrets missing Nina,” Yuuri laughed softly, his eyes falling on the loves of his life.  “Where are my boys?”

 

“Mario Kart,” was all the explanation needed.  “Of course, with Leo, Guang Hong, and Otabek, it’s become somewhat of a free for all.”

 

“I can’t believe you invited them all here at once.  You really are a glutton for punishment.”

 

“It’s nice to hang out and it not be all about skating.”  They looked up as a splash sprayed over them and saw Otabek come up out of the water with Nina’s legs wrapped around his neck.  “That one wants to be as much a part of your family as his counterpart.”

 

“At the rate he’s going, it won’t be long.  They are quite official right now.”

 

“Do you think he’ll lighten up on the competition?”

 

Yuuri raised an eyebrow, “Only if he wants to bear Yura’s wrath.”

 

Phichit leaned back in the chair dabbing his face with the towel.  “I’m becoming quite spoiled living here, Yuuri.”

 

“It’s not like you were a pauper before,” the Japanese man pointed out.

 

Phichit grinned.  “Nope...but it’s a different kind of luxury with Chris.  It’s...grown up kind of life.”  His eyes fell upon the wet curls of his fiance as the little angel yelled “catch me!”  The subsequent splash as he fell backwards then coming up out of the water, lifting the little one up with a giggle brought a glance Yuuri’s direction.  “One day we’ll have our own family.  He is a natural with kids.  I never thought about it before.  He just...you know, exudes sex appeal.  So I never thought about the other side of it.  I guess it shouldn’t surprise me, though.  Think about how patient he was with me.”

 

Yuuri watched Chris and smiled softly.  He remembered Chris and how he held Victor together on that night.  He recalled how Chris remained a rock throughout their struggles.  No, he is not surprised that Chris was a natural with kids.  Chris’ featherlight touch, his eyes asking permission, always gentle and kind.  He knew many missed it with the facade he wore but Yuuri saw it and trusted him early on.  He felt safe with Chris even when his world was falling apart.  He understood why the Swiss man was Victor’s best of friends.

 

That evening, they were gathered around the large space that served as a dance studio for Chris when he was home.  He even talked his grandmother into installing a pole.  Yuuri exchanged a warm glance with his husband thinking about what awaited them in their own bedroom back in Hasetsu.  This visit they would be staying at their own place getting the feel for the space.  In another year, they would be living in Hasetsu pretty much full time.

 

Phichit selected the next [ song ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTzGMEfbnAw) taking the dance floor with his fiance.  Yuuri felt his smile relax his demeanor.  Glancing over, he spotted Yura hiding Nina’s eyes and her tiny fingers pulling his fingers apart to peek.  Chuckling softly, he glanced up at his husband who held out a hand leading Yuuri out on the floor.  Holding Yuuri by the hip, he watched the younger man arch back in a sweep before locking into Victor’s frame and dancing slowly.  Leo bowed before Guang Hong and then led the other man out on the floor.  Andrei shrugged when Otabek offered his hand and Yura was already swaying with the little blond munchkin.

 

When the next [ song ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W8wzQj3M-qY) switched over, Otabek raised an eyebrow and Yuuri laughed.  “Madonna, Phichit?” Leo asked.

 

“My girl knows what she’s about,” Phichit responded with a wave of his hand leading them into a conga line.  Yuuri was not surprised.  He woke up many a day to Madonna playing while Phichit danced through his housework.  The Japanese man did cast a glance over his shoulder when the Russian following him in the conga line got a bit handsy.  Victor simply grinned and winked not feeling the least bit guilty for his liberties.

 

Three songs later and Miss Nina was curling up asleep.  Mission accomplished!  Victor made a _shhh_ sign with his finger and scooped her up carrying her off to bed.  They were all staying in the main house this time and he would be back shortly.  Yuuri draped an arm around Phichit’s shoulder and squeezed the Thai man into a hug.  “Thanks, Peach...Nina is fighting us more and more when it comes to her treatments.”

 

“I know it’s what she needs...but I can understand her rebellion.”

 

When Victor rejoined them, they were seated in a circle, a bottle lying in the middle.  Phichit was explaining, “It’s like spin the bottle...but if it lands on you, you have to give a hint on next season’s reveal.  It doesn’t have to be substantial.  Just a teaser.”  He gave the bottle a spin as Victor took a seat next to Yuuri.  The bottle landed on Leo.

 

The American smiled sweetly as he murmured, “Peace, love, and rock ’n roll.”

 

Yura snorted and declared, “So the last two seasons on repeat?”

 

Leo flicked his warm eyes towards the Russian kitten before giving the bottle a spin.  It missed its mark slightly landing on Andrei whose eyes widened.  “Oh...I’m not skating but, well...I guess I have my own things.”  He took his breath and the usually laid back kid recentered his thoughts.  “Chopin.”  He closed his eyes as he gave the bottle the next spin.  Opening he saw that it landed on Otabek.

 

“Classical meets modern arrangement,” he stated offering a wink towards Yura.  He spun the bottle and it landed on Victor.

 

“Cher,” he stated simply.  With a twist, the bottle landed between Yura and Guang Hong.  The former took the bait.

 

“Lover,” he said with a blush tinting his cheeks.  That met with an _aaaw_ as the bottle spun and landed on Chris.

 

“Christina Aguilera,” Chris declared offering a challenging gaze to Victor causing Yuuri to draw up looking from one to another.

 

“You two are _not_ doing _Burlesque_!” he argued.

 

Victor laughed and Chris shrugged.  “It’s a thought...maybe for an exhibition.  Or maybe _Lady Marmalade_.”

 

Victor winked on cue and sang out, “Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya dada...” with a twirl of his hand into a snap.

 

“Wait, you don’t know?” Phichit asked in surprise.

 

“Are you saying that you do?” Yuuri pressed back.  They both stared at one another open mouthed then turned accusing stairs to the other two men.

 

Victor laughed.  “It’s not like we know what you two are doing.  Now spin the bottle, Chris dear.”

 

The other man winked and gave it a twirl.  The bottle landed on his lover as if planned.  Phichit shrugged.  “Eighties.”  He immediately spun the bottle where it landed on Guang Hong.

 

The Chinese boy glanced down shyly.  “Video games?”

 

“Is that your hint or are you not sure?” Phichit asked.

 

“It’s...umm...it’s my hint.”  The boy nodded as if solidifying it into his thoughts.

 

They all turned to rest their eyes on Yuuri.  Yuuri shrugged and laughed.  “You haven’t landed a bottle on me...and there is one shot left.”

 

Guang Hong nervously gave the bottle a spin and it landed on...Phichit.  Yuuri winked at the other man.  “I guess I will keep my secrets for now.”  Standing up, he stretched.  “I have an early appointment with my daughter.  I bid you all good night.”  He then sasheted out of the room.

 

They all rounded on Victor.  The silverette held up his hands defensively.  “We haven’t shared anything yet.  I know he’s working on something.”

 

“How did he pick it?” Phichit demanded thinking there would be a hint in the method.

 

Victor shrugged.  “We agreed that Andrei would help Yuuri pick part of his music and Nina would help me.”

 

“So you are doing fairy tales and nursery rhymes,” Yura accused, his arms crossing over his chest.

 

“She listens to other music.  She dances to other music.  I already had my free skate picked out.  She’s helping me with my short based on that.”

 

Chris studied Victor a moment before he stated, “So she knows what you’ve picked out.”

 

Victor’s eyes went wide realizing he gave too much away.  “Don’t you torment my daughter!”

 

Chris laughed melodically.  “I wouldn’t dream of it.  My niece and I have a wonderful relationship.”

 

“Bitch!” Victor declared flippantly before walking out of the room dramatically.  He found Yuuri in bed when he reached their room.  “They are going to try and torment my song out of Nina.”

 

Yuuri raised an eyebrow.  “That girl will take your secret to her grave.  Let them try!”

 

Victor stilled as he stared at his husband with a look of betrayal.  “You’ve already tried.”

 

Yuuri shrugged.  “She locked her lips up and swallowed the key.”

 

Victor chuckled warmly picturing his little minx and confidant.  “And you and Andrei?”

 

“We’ve got some things brewing.  But he’s an equally hard egg to crack.”  They both laughed snuggling into one another.  “Let’s get some sleep, love...I want our heads to be clear when we go see the doctor.”

 

* * *

 

Nina pouted as they went through the final tests.  The doctor consult was next but she just wanted her Chichi and Cocoa and Makkachin and Papa and Andrei and Yura and Uncle Chris and Uncle Phichit in that order, had she thought of it she would have named all the hamsters as well.  As she was released, she hurled herself into Yuuri’s arms and the Japanese man lifted her up carrying her down the hall to the other room.  Two dogs trailed behind them.  He held her and soothed her while Victor talked back and forth with the doctor intermittently breaking off to explain to Yuuri what was going on.  The improvements were solid and the doctor talked about remission in her future.  Her growth and weight gain almost had her caught up to her peers.

 

“She may always be a little smaller than her peers, but that’s not alarming.  She’s growing intellectually and seems happy and settled.  The improvement after a year is astounding.  You are doing the right things for her.”

 

“Yuuri is very strict with her diet and we make sure she has plenty of physical and mental activity.  Our family is active and involved.”

 

“It is very obvious she has a healthy mindset.  Hopefully with next year’s visit she will be in remission.”

 

“Thank you, doctor.”

 

Both men were elated but Nina just curled up and slept in Yuuri’s arms.  The tests exhausted her.  Yuuri climbed into the back seat with her settling her into the carseat and buckling her in place.  Makkachin took his place in the front seat and Cocoa stretched out in the floor below Nina’s feet.  They drove the short distance to Chris’ home.

 

Settling her down on the couch, the others surrounded Victor while he shared the good news.  Yuuri sat in front of her on the floor, his fingers carding through her hair.  He knew these days were hard on her and he worked hard to soothe her.  Victor glanced lovingly towards his family and was truly surprised with the bond those two shared that his daughter kept his secret.

 

* * *

  


Within a week they were boarding a plane to the next leg of their trip.  Nina in much better spirits was excited to see her Sofu (Ojiisan, grandfather) and Sobo (Obaasan, grandmother).  She fell asleep leaning against Yuuri whispering those words.  Yuuri looked up as Andrei traded seats with Victor.  “I’ve been thinking...since I’m going to your home, it seems weird that I’m still calling you Yuuri.  I mean...you are my father.”

 

“You could always call me Chichi like your sister.”

 

“I don’t want to take that away from her.  What...do you use for your own Papa?”

 

Yuuri smiled warmly.  “I call him Otousan or Tochan.  The second is less formal.  Are you going to start calling Victor Papa?”

 

Andrei ducked his head down.  “I already do...sometimes.  Or Batya.  You...don’t look like a Tochan.  Maybe it’s the language.  I think...maybe Chichi suits you better.  Do you think...she’ll mind?”

 

Yuuri smiled warmly.  “No, far from it.  I think she’ll be fine with it.  I just always felt it should be your decision.  Especially since you still had such a strong connection with your mother.”

 

“I’ll never call you Mama...no offense...I’m okay with Nina using it but she never really knew Mama.  It’s different for her.  You are the only Mama she remembers.  But I remember her and I think it’s important that someone remembers.”

 

“I do as well.  You know we respect that.”

 

“I know.”  He then smiled.  “Sofu and Sobo.  What do I call Aunt Mari?”

 

“Obasan,” Yuuri instructed and watched the boy practice the words.  It felt last minute and rushed but that was their life.  Often in fast forward with suspended moments from time to time.  Andrei sat back satisfied.  Yuuri reached out a reassuring hand.  “They love you already.  You are mine.  So don’t worry if you mess up.  Remember, they adore Vitya.  He’s their Vicchan.”

 

Andrei found a small chuckle.  He knew his Papa could be over the top.  Leaning in, he took Yuuri’s other shoulder feeling that cheek rest against his head.  Victor turned around in his seat and his eyes rested on his family.  Taking a picture, he showed it to Yura, the teen rolling his eyes and returning his focus to Otabek.  The four of them would use Ice Castle in Hasetsu to sort out their choreography over the next couple of weeks before Otabek returned to his own coach.  Yura needed this prolonged time with his boyfriend, and Victor didn’t begrudge him for it.  His own love lay behind him wrapped up in their children and he couldn’t be happier.


	2. Perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The family land in Hasetsu to train and settle into their own house, a glimpse into the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have another ready to go! I suspect I won't have anything tomorrow so the question is whether you are clamoring more for a GY chapter or an L&F chapter. I'll check your comments tomorrow evening to decide which you get. :) 
> 
> Thanks so much for your supportive words. I feel all the love! It's greatly appreciated.

* * *

 

[ Perfect ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eiDiKwbGfIY)

 

**July 2017 - Hasetsu, Japan**

 

Yuuri brought in the last bag from the van they rented for their stay.  He could hear the noise from the family as they giggled and explored, trying to find their own places in the large space.  Yuuri stood just inside the [ genken ](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/2f/94/72/2f9472e5998e725c79d80a01b6f91216--japanese-homes-japanese-interior.jpg) finally having a moment to appreciate their home.  Toeing off his shoes, he placed them in the cabinet before gathering the kids’ shoes and organizing them accordingly.  He was glad they decided on this enclosure as shoes would fall all over themselves back in Russia.

 

He smiled as he pulled the suitcase into the spacious living space.  Natural materials filled the room and greeted him  with their warmth.  Victor found him, his face lit up.  “The kids have found their rooms.  Andrei and Nina have taken the two downstairs.  Yura and Otabek are upstairs.  I think they’ve laid claim to the entire upstairs and expect to hold it until they are forced to share.”

 

Yuuri grinned in return.  “That won’t be for a while.  I can’t believe we’re here.  Our house in Russia is ours...but this...this is our future.  We have so many hopes and dreams tied to this place.”  He hugged himself as he let his eyes move around the space.  His family and friends had gone through and added a few personal touches.  His mother knowing his style for small homey touches, and his father knowing all the technical needs they would have worked to ensure the success of the house.  Medals on display in the genken and a display case holding Yuuri’s first skates sat across from the entrance.  Another pair of skates would go in with it.  Photos from Phichit hung in various locations throughout the open space.

 

They had updated with a mix of traditional Japanese and modern elements, combining the styles of both men in shared spaces and their private bedroom.  The ten bedrooms decreased to seven with an additional bathroom and space taken for the master bedroom.  As it was, two smaller bedrooms lay across the hall from the master with a bathroom in between.  Upstairs held four more bedrooms sharing another bathroom.

 

The floors were natural surfaces, wood, slate, and bamboo but underneath radiant heat kept them from being cold.  Victor hated being cold when he came home and this was a mandatory indulgence for his happiness. The main living space held two seating areas, one of which housed the flat screen television on one wall.  Beneath the TV, a narrow fireplace offered further warmth for the space.  Both held leather sectionals and low tables.  Woven floor cushions sat across from the table for further seating.  In the second space, another sectional was in place facing the large window.   Low bookshelves were tucked in and Victor found some of his books already in place.  There was room to pull the low tables out for more traditional Japanese dining.

 

The galley style [ kitchen ](https://wilderpublications.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Modern-Japanese-Kitchen-for-the-Composed-Minded.jpg) was modern with traditional touches.  Bamboo warmed up the space with stainless steel on prep surfaces.  The bar wasn’t cluttered with overhead cabinetry and opened wide enough for seating.  Beyond that could be found the beginnings of a living wall and he knew this would one day hold the herbs he and Victor liked to use when they cooked.  A rock indoor water feature created soft ambient sound as the water filtered over the stones.  Yuuri knew this would be one of his retreats on his more stressful days.  The long galley counter gave way to a dining table on the end that could seat up to nine with ease with three more stools added to the counter to allow for a total of twelve.

 

Beyond the kitchen, another space opened up.  As Yuuri looked at the windows, he hugged himself once more, feeling Victor’s arms wrap around him from behind.  He could already imagine a [ kotatsu ](http://www.fubiz.net/en/2016/01/20/cozy-japanese-table-offering-the-comfort-of-a-warm-bed/) in winter, the family lying around being lazy on a Sunday.  The cabinets along the inner wall would allow for storage when not in use.  Beneath the window, he spotted more bookshelves.  Perhaps Victor and he would have a [ chair ](https://imageresizer.furnituredealer.net/img/remote/images.furnituredealer.net/img/products%2Fbenchcraft%2Fcolor%2Fbisenti_6530623%2B14-b1.jpg?width=1024&height=768&trim.threshold=50&trim.percentpadding=10)in the corner for cuddling together reading.

 

“Do you want to come to our room, _lyubov moya_?  I’ve already unpacked us, but you haven’t fully settled.”  Victor kissed into his hair, his breath warm on his ear.

 

“And I have that last bag,” Yuuri reminded him.

 

Victor chuckled softly.  “I think that was Nina’s.  She trotted in behind you and grabbed the handle.”

 

“Are the kids happy?” Yuuri worried, raising his eyebrows and widening his eyes as a frown settled into his features.

 

Victor dropped his head to Yuuri’s and murmured, “Very.  How could they not be happy surrounded with so much love?  And Andrei has already found your old keyboard, which he has claimed as his for now.  He was asking if I ever heard you play.  I was embarrassed to admit that I had not.”

 

Yuuri sighed and wound his fingers into Victor’s.  “I can play, but I’m very rusty.  We all had to learn an instrument in middle school.  I continued playing for my first two years of high school, but then my practice and competition schedule became too busy.”

 

“That would be the year you took Junior World gold,” Victor considered.

 

Yuuri smiled and raised his eyebrows at his husband, “And then nothing...until you come into my world.  It was so hard to break through that barrier.  I’m glad Yura had an easier transition.”

 

Victor shrugged, thinking of the cultural advance Yuri had over his husband.  The young blonde belonged to a country that prized him as an athlete.  “He has had dedicated practice working everything else around it since he was young.  You did not.  You worked practice around everything else.  There’s a difference.”

 

“I need to get Minako on finding Andrei tutors for when we move.  He’s going to online classes, but I don’t want his music to suffer.”

 

“Don’t worry, _solnyshko_.  It will come together in time.  And we will find him a teacher and get him what he needs.”

 

Worries for the kids continued to crowd his thoughts.  “I should have been more structured in teaching them Japanese.  They’re going to be lost.”

 

“They are going to fall in love with Japan...because they love you.  And because of that, they’ll embrace the culture and language, just like I did.  Perhaps Andrei will stumble around at first but think how much Yura picked up in just the short visits he’s spent over the last three years.  Andrei is smart and adaptable.  And Nina is young and eager to learn.”

 

“But…”  Yuuri started to worry, but the argument died as soon as he saw the heart shape of the lips before him.

 

Victor smiled warmly, squeezing his husband’s upper arms.  “We already have an English only night at home in Russia.  We could do a Japanese only night.  Would that make you feel better?”

 

Yuuri’s eyes widened.  “I don’t know why we haven’t done that already!”

 

“There...we already have a solution.  Now relax...and enjoy our home, our family.”  Victor guided Yuuri down the hall and opened the door to their room.  Yuuri could already see the solid doors and walls that greeted them.  Soundproofing.  His father was brilliant when it came to practical matters.  Within the room, they found Victor’s furniture and a few things from Yuuri’s room.  The stormy greys and blacks of the cotton comforter was pulled back to show the crisp white of the sheets and pillowcases.  Yuuri had to chuckle at Cocoa already at home in the middle of the bed then looked around with a furrowed brow.  “Where’s Makka?”

 

“With Nina...where else?”

 

“I bet Yura is missing Polya,” Yuuri murmured.

 

“That cat is being spoiled rotten at the big house.  Who knew Lidiya was such a cat person?”

 

Yuuri shrugged.  “Well, she never married,” he pointed out.

 

“She wanted to at one time...losing her one love took that away from her.”  Victor’s eyes slid around the room, imagining their photos on the walls and their personal touches added to the room.  However, with so many familiar things around them, this room already felt like home.

 

A knock at the open door brought their attention to the family.  The kids come in chattering about their rooms and talking about what they wanted to do to the space but they already felt like they had a complete room.  “Well, your furniture came from my old room,” Yuuri told Andrei.  Then turning to Nina, he added, “And yours came from the things outgrown by the triplets...well, the things that actually survived.  When we move here permanently, you’ll get to pick the things you want to make it more yours, but we thought this would give you a start.”

 

A clearing of the throat brought their attention to the other two boys.  “Is it okay if we pull futons from the other rooms while we are here?” Otabek asked.

 

“Of course,” Yuuri responded then caught the scowl on Yura’s face.  “What is it?”

 

He pointed to the center of the room.  “Is that...did you seriously have a stripper pole installed in your room?”

 

Yuuri’s cheeks pinked up but Victor’s expression broke into a wide heart-shaped smile.  “Da!  And there is a ballet barre over in that corner.  Perfect for...stretching out at the end of the day.”

 

“Stretching...okay.  We’ll let you go with that,” Otabek responded with a smirk.

 

“We will?” Yura asked, his eyebrows furrowed.  “But…”

 

“I think the adults are allowed to decide how they spend their personal time,” Otabek pointed out.

 

“There are children…” he started to argue.

 

“And they are here because of how other people spent their personal time,” the older boy pointed out.

 

Andrei snorted at that, receiving a glare from Yura.  He remained undisturbed.  As Otabek led Yura out of the room and back on task, the others turned their attention to the pole and the little girl who was now swinging around it in circles.  “You can read [ Ballet Shoes ](https://www.amazon.com/Ballet-Shoes-Noel-Streatfeild-ebook/dp/B004KSRZA6) to me and I can dance!” she beamed.

 

Yuuri found his smile once more, adoring as he watched his daughter.  Andrei studied the vertical bar thoughtfully.  “Can you really dance on that thing?”

 

Yuuri nodded.  “You could say that’s how your Papa and I met.”

 

The teen snorted once more.  “I bet that’s a story.”

 

* * *

 

The kids shifted nervously and Yuuri could hear them practicing words that felt foreign to them.   _I should have worked with them more_ , he fretted internally.  However, Victor already worked with them in French and they both taught them English.  One more language seemed like a lot.

 

The kids were greeted warmly by his parents who pulled them inside.  They tumbled their tongues around unfamiliar terms of _Sofu_ and _Sobo_ but the pleased smiles that greeted them was enough to settle them.  They were soon sitting around the table and Mari took a seat next to Andrei.  He took a deep breath and greeted her.  “ _Konichiwa_ , _Obaasan_.”

 

Mari’s eyes went wide and the rest of the family laughed softly.  “No, not _Obaasan_ ,” she corrected offering a smirk to her brother who blushed.  “That means old woman...like a grandmother.   _Obasan_...or just Mari-oba.”  Andrei squeezed his shoulders in feeling the heat of his embarrassment but the brusk woman who generally saved her gentle moments for her brother only gave him a squeeze on his thigh.  “It was a good try, squirt.”  She then winked.

 

The boy visibly relaxed realizing that his aunt wasn’t mad.  She did turn and give Yuuri a hard time.  “I...didn’t realize...it was a long flight.  He asked me how to address you,” Yuuri defended then huffed with a sigh.  “I should have been working with them for a while now.”

 

His mother placed a dish before him then reached out a comforting hand.  “We make mistakes.  This is family.  Mistakes easily forgiven.”  A few trips back and forth refusing help and she soon had her family served.  Katsudon.  Of course.

 

“This is your Chichi’s favorite meal,” Victor explained to Nina.  “It’s called katsudon...a pork cutlet bowl.”

 

She took a bite and her face lit up.  “ _Vkusno_!”  The family chuckled their eyes moving from daughter to father.  Of course Yuuri was her favorite, she was so much like her Papa how could he not be her favorite.  But Victor was a kindred spirit with the little imp.

 

* * *

 

Yuuri yawned after tucking in their daughter.  Normally it took three stories, or chapters if it was a longer book, but she was so sleepy, he got away with one.  Makkachin took vigil over her and she cuddled up around the old dog.  Victor was in bed reading when the younger man joined him.  “She changed her mind to [ Skating Shoes ](https://www.amazon.com/Skating-Shoes-Noel-Streatfeild/dp/044047731X/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1518295551&sr=8-5&keywords=noel+streatfeild) by the time I tucked her in.”

 

“It’s all dancing to her...one just takes place on the ice.”

 

“She’s not wrong.  You know, we are taking over Ice Castle for the next few weeks.  We should give back.”

 

“I thought I’d work with the triplets.  Including their lessons with Nina’s.  They are more advanced, but I think it will adjust fine.”

 

“I can do studio time with them all.  Let us get the feel for what our lives will become.”

 

Victor nodded pulling his husband into his embrace.  “So how are we going to work out practice?  Or are you still determined to keep your work a secret?”

 

“I am...you are a morning person.  You take morning ice.  I’ll get up, and jostle the kids.  Then running from the Onsen, cross training and ballet.  Maybe squeeze in an hour or two on the ice before the boys take it over in the afternoon.  I’ll go evenings...after dinner.  I like skating at night.”

 

“I won’t see you,” Victor whined.

 

“You will see me plenty.  Besides, we can work together on individual elements.  It’s just the choreography.”

 

“Then let’s do the individual elements in the morning after your cross training.  I can do ballet with you.  Then when you go get Nina, I’ll do the rest of my workout.”

 

“You have to do the voices when you read to her at night,” Yuuri stated.

 

Victor grinned.  “I love doing the voices!”

 

* * *

 

Victor woke up before daylight and slipped from his Yuuri’s side.  His eyes lingered on the younger man as he curled up around the warm pillow Victor vacated.  Showering and getting dressed, he was greeted by two eager dogs ready to go out.  He was thankful they had an enclosed space to take the dogs.  No leashes.  He opened the door and watched them sniffing around before returning to the kitchen.  Coffee started.  Rice started.  Once he had a cup in hand, he returned to the small yard and sat on a bench to watch the dogs play.  He loved the quiet of the morning, just him and the dogs.  Every once in awhile he’d be joined by Andrei, but this morning he was alone.  

 

Taking a sip of coffee, he reflected on his life thinking back to how he ended up in this little corner of the world.   _Yuuri, we went through so much together and I know you are still struggling.  The rape.  My ex-boyfriend stalking you.  I wish I could take it all away._  Yuuri slept peacefully the night before, for the most part, but Victor remembered waking up to run a calming hand over his husband’s back as he cried out softly in his sleep.  Dr. Abramovich said it was a way to work through things, his subconscious helping him to deal with problems he struggled with when awake. _I just want you to rest and not have these disturbances, my love._  He took a sip of coffee and allowed his thoughts to wander to his kids.  Andrei had a dentist appointment when they returned.  Nina, her next round of bloodwork.  Yura...he paused, his lip jerking in a smile.   _Yura, my first son._ He would be working with Lilia one on one to streamline his choreography.  Yakov and Lilia had their hands full but Victor knew it was their last big push before retirement.  Victor and Yuuri helped where they could but both Yu(u)ris were being secretive with their programs.  He finished his coffee and called the dogs inside.

 

After a quick breakfast, he washed and put away his dishes.  There was plenty of rice prepared for Yuuri later.  He put the rest of the coffee in a thermos and rinsed the pot out.  Going to the cabinet where they sorted their gear, he grabbed his skate bag.  Trainers on, he took off on his bike to the rink.  It felt good to be back in Hasetsu, the routine of a morning ride waving to familiar faces that dotted the route.  At the rink, he secured his bike and almost skipped to the door.

 

Today, he wanted to work on the song his daughter picked for him.  He finished stretching then changed into his skates.  Warming up on the ice, he thought about his future, his retirement...what did that mean?  He wouldn’t be competing, but he’d still skate.  Maybe a few shows...he loved choreography.   _Look at Petrenko… he’s twenty years older than me and still skates in exhibitions.  Downgraded jumps but the choreography is as good as ever… better._ But his knees certainly felt it these days.  The impact of the jumps were bracing on some mornings, vibrating on through his body.  This was a good morning.  He moved into position for a quad flip and launched it, landing clean.   _I’ve still got it,_ he thought... _but my body will be complaining if I do them too much.  At least I have the hot springs to soak in later._

 

Pulling out his phone, he set the song he was working on in repeat.  His daughter’s fascination with the story led them to the song and she insisted it was perfect for her papa.  Now, the almost sad tones of [ The Last Unicorn ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L2_oyGwdX14) sang through his earbuds.  He listened to several versions with Nina, but she insisted on the one used in the movie.  As the reprise _I’m alive_ sang through, he felt it settle into him.

 

As his feet stilled, coasting to the barrier, he glanced up to see Yuuko.  Pulling his earbud free, he waved at her.  “Hi, Yuuko.  You are up early.”

 

“Good morning, Victor.  The girls stayed the night with my mother, so I didn’t have to fight them.  They are excited that you offered to teach them over the summer.  I guess their mama isn’t good enough,” she added that last line with mock wistfulness.

 

Victor laughed in response.  “If it makes you feel any better, Nina would almost always choose Chichi over Papa.”

 

She smirked.  “Wouldn’t we all.  How is he these days?”  Her smile faded into a more serious expression.

 

“Much better.  We still have our bad moments, and there are things that will still trigger him, but he is doing better.  We have an appointment in two days to see Sasaki-sensei in Fukuoka.   I think Yuuri’s scheduled a fitting at that time as well.  Always multitasking.”

 

“He thinks if he keeps occupied he doesn’t have to think about it.  Classic Yuuri deflecting.”

 

Victor nodded.  He knew.  How could he not know?  Yuuri was his life blood, his very breath.  When the younger man hurt, Victor sensed it.  “He keeps hoping that each time will be the last...that he’ll be past it...but I think part of him has realized he’ll always have to work through these things.”

 

“And how are you?”

 

He shrugged.  “Taking care of my family.  If they are happy and safe, then I’m happy.”

 

“It’s easy to lose yourself in your family.  Don’t forget to take care of yourself in the process.  Take some time to do something you love.”

 

“I do...really.”  Victor’s eyes met hers, but his smile seemed unsure.  He could see her searching look and he admitted the truth.  “But this year...it will be so very busy.  My biggest fear is that my family will suffer for it.”

 

She nodded, juggling family was difficult.  No matter how hard you worked you would always feel inadequate.  It didn’t help that they lived in a world happy to attack parents for anything and everything.  “They all know it’s important to you.  Use your support system and let us all help.  They will be loved and taken care of as you make this last push.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

Yuuko smiled at him and changed the subject to something light.  “So...what are you skating to this year?”

 

Victor laughed, knowing that she was trying to weedle information out of him.  “I don’t know what Yuuri is skating to.  It’s a big secret.  So I haven’t revealed my programs to him, either.”

 

“You could tell me,” she implored raising an eyebrow.

 

“Oh, I could...but you are Yuuri’s best friend and it would come out with your next conversation.”

 

He watched her huff and pout a little even as he backed away from the barrier.  With a wave, he replaced the earbuds and began working once more on his choreography.

 

* * *

 

Yuuri was tapping nervously on the dash and Victor was thankful he’d pried away the keys from his lover.  “You are comfortable with Sasaki-sensei.  What’s got you so wound up?”

 

“It’s not even the appointment.  I know what to expect.  EMDR.  It’s almost second nature I’ve been through it so much.  It’s…”  He stopped, staring out the window.

 

“Talk to me,” Victor pushed gently.

 

He swallowed a sob that worked its way up his throat.  “I miss my baby.  I hate not tucking her in at night and reading to her.”

 

Victor frowned at this revelation.  He thought the schedule Yuuri proposed had been working out well but his husband was clearly not happy.  “Then let’s rework the schedule.  Have you thought about offering Otabek and Yura the evenings?”

 

Yuuri looked over at Victor in surprise.  “N-no...it never occured to me.  I...like skating at night.”

 

“But it’s different now,” Victor pointed out as he negotiated a turn.

 

“I suppose it is...my priorities...they are shifting.  Maybe it’s because we are not in Russia.  We had things like school and Lidiya and extra ice.”

 

“True...there are five rinks at the skating complex.  We could practice at the same time and still keep things secret.”

 

“Do you think I’m being silly about this?”

 

Victor hummed in thought.  “No, not really.  But I think we do better when the two of us collaborate.  I worry about you getting caught up in your head.”

 

Yuuri, even in his state, was quick to catch wise at his husband’s not-so-clever nor-so-subtle hints.  “You’re already getting a sneak peek at my costumes today.  Let me...reveal it in stages.  I think I need this thing that’s my own.”

 

“Okay...then take it.  I won’t force it, Yuuri.  You know that.”  He glanced out the corner of his eye and could see Yuuri texting.  After a moment, the device vibrated in answer.  “Well, what did they say?”

 

“They said they had no problem switching time slots.  They just ask we leave them dinner to reheat when they get home.  I guess...they’ll start earlier than I did.”

 

“Well, there are two of them.  It will all work out.”

 

Yuuri stared worriedly down at his phone.  “What if...they just agreed because they didn’t want to say no.”  As if on cue, the phone buzzed again.  Yuuri then laughed.  “I think Yura is anticipating me.  He just sent a text telling me to quit overthinking.  He said it’s really fine.”

 

“You know you were thinking about texting him about it,” Victor pointed out.  They pulled into the parking spot.  “Now, let’s get this appointment over with.  Then the fun stuff.”

 

* * *

 

Three hours later, and Yuuri was standing on a stool for the fittings of his first costume.  Victor admired the fitted skate top fading from white to a deep blue making him think of clouds in the sky.  Across the surface were white flowers like they were blowing through the breeze.  Crystals made up the centers of the flowers and smaller ones also captured the motion of the wind.

 

Yuuri’s second costume was black with the top fading to smoky grays and reds through the dyes, The crystals were black and the glitz was much more subtle.  The overall effect was moody.  Victor hummed in approval with both of them.

 

As they climbed into the van, he declared, “I can’t imagine your theme.”

 

Yuuri frowned.  “I don’t know that I have a theme.  I guess it’s the light and darkness I went through.  Not heavy...but it shows I’m still working through the darkness.  There’s...still pain.”

 

Victor frowned as he moved into traffic.  “I wish...I could take it away.”

 

“As Lilia says, use it and create something beautiful.  So that’s what I’m doing.”

 

* * *

 

Yuuri stood next to the barre in the studio.  Andrei sat at the piano going through the [ Spring Waltz ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vrcP0VWV320) once more and now understanding why the Japanese man was good at what he did.  He applied the same dogged persistence to all of his talents.  They drilled and drilled and drilled until they got it right.  The younger man would be making a recording when he returned to Russia.  Lidiya had already made the arrangements.  However, the tracks available didn’t quite get the true tone of the piece he now performed for his Chichi.

 

“Again,” Minako demanded and the teen didn’t know if she was speaking to him or the man on the dance floor.  Probably both.  He felt the ache in his fingers.  Yuuri didn’t waiver.  He pushed himself over and over, drilling the movements into his muscle memory.  Finally, they stopped.  Andrei stretched his shoulders and fingers, hearing the pops as the tension released.

 

Walking back to their home, he studied the man who appeared lost in thought.  Finally he decided to break through, knowing Yuuri could get caught up on the track going on in his head.  “So...that was intense,” he declared.

 

Yuuri turned and smiled.  “I guess.  It’s always been like that.  I’m sorry your hands tensed up.  You should have said something.  I know how far to take my body and so does Minako.  However, we may not know if you’ve hit your breaking point.”

 

“Well, I wasn’t making a lot of mistakes so I guess I was still good.”  He watched the waves crash onto the beach and Yuuri caught his gaze following it out.  “Maybe on your next off day we can do something fun.  Family time.”

 

“Do you have something in mind?”  Yuuri knew the boy took the dogs and his sister out to the beach keeping a close eye on her and often accompanied by the other two boys.

 

“Well, you go to...ummm...that city,” he began.

 

“Fukuoka,” Yuuri supplied.

 

Andrei nodded.  “I thought maybe we could go explore the city.”

 

Yuuri considered his request thoughtfully.  “We wouldn’t be able to explore all of it, but there is an underground mall.  Maybe we could see if Yura and Otabek would like to go along as well.”

 

“I think they would.  Are you...is that fine?” he asked.

 

“I have my counseling appointment, but your Papa can drop me off and then come back to get me.  Just keep your phones on you so that we can find you.  You might let Nina stay with Victor that day.”

 

“We can do that.  And set up a designated meeting place once you are finished.”

 

* * *

  


On the next rest day, they were all loading up in the van with the addition of Mari.  She sat close to the front and chatted with Yuuri in Japanese which meant it was adult talk.  Victor could follow most of it at this point but his contributions were small.  The news that Celestino was retiring and coming to Hasetsu, however, was intriguing.  Mari suspected there was something between him and Minako, but the ballet teacher sidestepped the topic with the ease of a seasoned dancer.

 

“What will he do?” Yuuri asked.

 

“Probably help out at the bar.  I heard that the JSF were talking to him.  So if the skating complex happens, then he might also be training skaters at the facility.”

 

“So...not really retiring.  Just time off and moving.  Then it has to be Minako.  I noticed he calls her Mina...and she calls him Tino.”

 

Victor took this moment to point out, “They are beautiful together.”

 

Both of the siblings smiled warmly back at Victor.  “It’s not that they are not, Vitya.  It’s just there’s history between them.  Nobody knows the full story.  But there is a reason I was picked up by Ciao Ciao, and it wasn’t just my skating.”

 

“It could have been just your skating,” Victor agrued.

 

Yuuri smiled indulgently.  “Perhaps...but I think someone pulled some strings with an old friend...perhaps an old lover.”

 

Victor pulled up to the curb.  “You want me to walk you in?”

 

Yuuri rolled his eyes.  “I think I’m old enough to see my therapist by myself, Vitya.  Take care of the kids and be back in two hours.”

 

“Okay...see you soon.”

 

* * *

 

Yuuri and Victor found the kids and Mari at a giant piano and Yuuri grinned.  “Do you remember playing on that as a kid?”

 

“You were a lot shorter then.  Do you want to see what we remember?”  Mari moved into position.  They began working through the notes of[ Heart and Soul ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibfJsyx6N_U) giggling when they messed up.  Andrei then jumped forward.

 

“I want to play with you, Chichi,” he insisted becoming more and more comfortable with the familial name.  “Do you mind, Mari-oba?”

 

“Of course not, squirt.”  She stepped back and watched her brother and her oldest nephew glancing up when Victor draped his arm over her shoulders.  “He’s happy.  Really happy.  I wasn’t sure when I learned he was adopting a teenager.  I thought, he’s not ready for that.  But...he has such a big heart.”

 

“His big heart was always his struggle.  It broke so easily.  For himself and for others.”

 

“Is that [ Toccata and Fugue ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAB_4OJvkbk)?” Victor asked, his eyes widening.

 

“Oh, Yuuri is good on piano.  He had so much talent, it was always about making choices.  What did he love more.  I think when he went to college, he was torn between majoring in music or dance.  But dance helped him skate.”

 

“He never plays anymore.” Victor sounded mournful.

 

Mari smiled at her brother-in-law, “But I bet he enjoys watching Andrei play.”

 

“Greatly.  Andrei is working on this piece...[ Spring Waltz ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EFJ7kDva7JE).  It’s for a major competition.  We are trying to work out our schedule so that we can all go to support him, although he reassures us that he wouldn’t be upset if we are competing.”

 

Mari knew her brother too well for that excuse.  “But Yuuri would be upset with himself if he missed it.”

 

“As would I...this could lead to him competing in the [ Kosciuszko Foundation Chopin Competition ](https://www.chopincompetitiondc.org/competition).  The oldest competitor is eighteen, but most have been competing for years.  Andrei...he’s had such a late start.”

 

“Music is in him...just like my brother.  That’s the language that exists between them.  And isn’t he Lidiya Baranovskaya’s protege?”

 

“He is indeed.  That’s another thing...we worry about what will happen once we move here to Japan.”

 

Mari thought of how Yuuri seemed to pull a family together, like a snowball rolling down hill, gathering more and making the unit stronger with each addition...what would one more be?  “Have you talked to his teacher?  She might be willing to take the time and move with you.  He’d only be a year from graduating, then he’ll be looking at where he’ll go to study after that.”

 

“I...don’t know.  I didn’t consider it.  I...guess it wouldn’t hurt to ask.”

 

“She may be just waiting for you to ask.”

 

* * *

 

Back home that evening, Victor shared with Yuuri what Mari suggested.  Yuuri frowned studying him.  “Do you think she’ll do it?  I mean, we can make a space for a piano.  But the stairs…”

 

“I think Andrei would take an upstairs bedroom if that was the case.  She could be his tutor all around.  It’s what she does...we just happen to have a closer relationship with her than most families.  I can’t believe I never considered it before.”

 

“We’ll talk to her once we get home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget...GY or L&F for tomorrow? The next break will switch to the other.
> 
> Thanks so much to both Magrathea and BluSkates for the last minute review and edits. I know when I do a big push it means a lot on you both and I appreciate it so much.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, give a round of applause to both BluSkates and Magrathea for the turn around edits! Wrote this in the morning, posting it tonight.
> 
> I do plan to touch on the doping scandal but not go in depth. I love writing politics as much as I love writing legal mumbo jumbo (as in, not at all). If you want to know more about it, google is your friend. That being said, please note that this chapter takes place in August and the IOC has not made the announcement banning Russia from the Olympics yet. This is life for our athletes pure and simple. It just has the added framework of the Olympics. Also, this is an AU so I will take some liberties. Such as, unless I can figure out a valid reason why they are there, I’m not sending my Russians to wait out the Olympics at a training camp in Japan, as the two women have done this week. I feel, in watching the competitors, it is affecting them poorly and Yakov wouldn’t allow that.
> 
>  
> 
> Also, I appreciate your patience. I, of course, would get sick right after I decided to do this project. Sometimes our bodies are our own worst enemy. For my regular readers, thankfully I had backlogs of other stuff to post. For those just getting on board with Lifeline, just know I’m not going to go back and re-explain plot and research that was developed over three other parts and other side stories. They are there to be read and enjoyed. This wasn’t even going to be split off but part three was getting to be too long.

* * *

 

 

* * *

 

**August 2017 - Hasetsu, Japan**

 

* * *

 

 

**Yuuri/ What’s the detes, Peach?!!!**

 

**Phichit/ I need more, bro**

 

**Yuuri/ Ciao Ciao.  Rumor is he’s retiring.**

 

**Phichit/ o.o  What?!!**

 

**Yuuri/ And moving here!  To Hasetsu!!**

 

**Phichit/ Minako**

 

**Yuuri/ You know it.  What have you seen?**

 

**Phichit/ Nothing you haven’t seen.  They have dinner together when she’s at a competition where he’s at.  They are otherwise discrete.**

 

**Yuuri/ I know they had a thing a long time ago.**

 

**Phichit/ We’re talking Star Wars.  A very long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away.  She was still dancing.**

 

**Yuuri/ I don’t think she was ready back then.  From what I’ve gathered, she was still in mourning.**

 

**Phichit/ So, too soon.  He’s very protective of her.**

 

**Yuuri/ I’d like to see them happy.**

 

**Phichit/ Me, too.**

 

* * *

  
  


Victor landed his quad flip when he heard the giggles from the girls beyond the barrier penetrate his earphones.  He turned to smile warmly at three nine-year-old girls and his almost seven-year-old peeking over the barrier wall.  Yuuko stood between them holding them back until Victor was ready.  He skated to the barrier and looked each of them over.  “What do you think, ladies?”

 

“I want to do a triple axel!” Loop declared proudly.

 

Victor grinned.  “In due time...Yuuri would be disappointed if you didn’t focus on your fundamentals.  What do you think, Ninochka?”

 

His daughter beamed up adoringly.  “Find your story first!”

 

“Chichi would be proud.  So what is our story?”  This was a technique Yuuri employed to keep them from over-focusing on the elements.  He’d then expertly insert the practice while helping them develop their story.  They had begun working on the story in the first lessons and it had grown as they continued through the month.  

 

“Dragons!” she sang out with a giggle.

 

“And who are you, my Ninochka?”

 

She covered her teeth with her lips and then cried out “Toothless!” diving towards her father.  Victor laughed as he caught her.  “And what do we know about Toothless?”

 

She found her feet as her father settled her onto the ice.  “He can’t fly very well because he’s been hurt.”

 

“Axel, tell me about your story,” Victor prompted.

 

“I’m Astrid!  I’m a strong and brave warrior woman!”

 

Loop giggled.  “I’m going to play Hiccup!”

 

“And how do you see Hiccup?” Victor inquired.

 

“He’s like Yuuri!  Takes him a little while because he has to find his own way of doing things!”  

 

Victor couldn’t help the soft smile on his lips but he couldn’t deny the truth of her observation.  His beautiful husband sometimes had to work his own way around things.  And the hardest part for Victor was learning to stand back and watch.

 

Lutz stepped in and declared, “And I’m the rest of the friends because everyone needs good friends.  So...I’ll be Truffnut Fishlegs!”

 

Victor then turned on the  [ soundtrack ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWr0hSKLcXY&list=PL9rlhX697DBKkglcf_1AkSG14lC0astun) that would be the background to their practice.  In the company of the music, he guided his students through the basics to warm up and talked about how they would show things like flying and other storytelling elements while they developed the program.  It was all informal, teaching in the form of play.  No show would be performed for an audience other than perhaps the parents involved.  However, the girls enjoyed themselves and became immersed into creating their characters and story in the way only children can.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Yuuri came home from his practice session to the smell of food cooking in the kitchen.  He slipped behind his husband and buried his nose in the older man’s neck.  “Missed you.”

 

Victor smiled, but kept his eyes on the pan in front of him.  “I missed you, too.  Of course that wouldn’t be an issue if you’d share with me your program.”

 

“Not yet,” Yuuri protested.

 

“Are you going to wait until competition?” Victor whined.

 

Yuuri laughed teasingly, coming around him to pull him into a kiss.  “Maybe…” he murmured then kissed him again “...and maybe not.”  With a wink, he twisted in Victor’s arms and began pulling lids of dishes.  “What are we having?”

 

“It’s a green radish  [ salad ](https://silkroadchef.com/2015/03/30/uzbekistan-salad-pinnacle-of-soviet-fusion-food/) with beef and fried onions.”  He then gave Yuuri’s ass a pinch before saying, “If you want to help, perhaps you could set the table.”

 

Yuuri smirked before dancing out of Victor’s hold giving his hips a shake as he did so.  He knew his husband was watching, feeling those blue eyes on his ass.  “Maybe I’ll dance for you...later,” he tossed over his shoulder.  “Just the two of us.”  He heard the whine from the man at the stove as he pulled the plates out and began to set the table.  “Yura and Otabek?”

 

“They are out for the evening but they didn’t dress for practice.”

 

“So a date?”  Yuuri started plating the table, two less as the older boys wouldn’t return for dinner.

 

“Appears so.  Andrei has been practicing all afternoon at Minako’s.  I stopped by and relieved him of our daughter after I finished my errands.”

 

“We really need to look at getting him a practice piano for home,” Yuuri stated with a frown.

 

“When we come to stay.”  Victor negotiated, he knew Yuuri would worry over this, borrowing trouble.  “The piano at Minako’s studio will work for now.  Andrei said as much when I suggested we shop for one.”

 

Yuuri smiled at the thought of his stubborn son.  He hated taking handouts and sometimes they had to surprise him to get him to accept gifts.  So many times Yuuri and Victor had to explain to him that providing these things was part of parenting.  The boy only finally relented on the piano when Yuuri pointed out that this would ensure his independence as an adult.

 

The meal was full of Nina’s animated stories of the kittens she discovered at the onsen.  She had brought home the choice of the litter.  Andrei would insert a story from time to time, finding himself really taken with a little black and white tuxedo kitten that loved to curl up in his lap.  Victor and Yuuri exchanged glances.  They never discouraged pets but had expected the children to ask if they wanted one.  Nina was happy curled up in the middle of the dogs.  But the fathers realized they should have known Andrei wouldn’t ask.

 

Later as the boy helped Yuuri wash dishes, the older man asked, “Do you want a kitten?”

 

Andrei shrugged.  “It seems silly as busy as we are right now and we’ll be moving in another year.  I...don’t think so.  Not right now.”

 

“Yura already has a cat,” he pointed out.

 

Andrei glanced under his lashes and back at the dishes.  “Which he misses terribly with all of the travel even though Polya is well taken care of by Lidiya and Lilia.”

 

“I suppose I see your point.  But...if you change your mind…”

 

“I know...Chichi.  I just...not right now.”

 

Yuuri tucked in his daughter later that night and read through every wolf story she had with her before she settled down.  When he finally came into the bedroom he shared with his husband, he found the room lit with candlelight.  Victor was lounging across the end of the bed, his nude form covered by a strip of fabric across the middle.

 

“I believe you promised to dance for me,” Victor murmured warmly.

 

Yuuri laughed softly.  “So I did...give me a few minutes to prepare.”  He then moved past Victor into the master bathroom.  He showered thoroughly touching up any shaving that was needed to smooth out his skin.  Reaching into the bag he brought with him, he pulled out the  [ fringed dance shorts ](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/205899014192955183/) .  They fit tightly over his ass and as he shimmied, he smiled at the fall of the fringes.  He didn’t bother with a top.  His makeup was basic, winging out his liner for a little extra drama and some lipgloss.  Satisfied with the effect, he tied on the barefoot  [ sandals ](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/a7/85/08/a78508c448abe459d1a3e521c1313c2c--nude-shoes-man-women.jpg) he found on the dresser earlier that day, Victor’s new obsession now that Yuuri had worn a pair.  The beads settled against his skin comfortably and Yuuri gave his polish one quick inspection.  He had painted on the red earlier that day while talking with Minako in her studio.

 

Leaving the bathroom, he spotted Victor lying back in bed, phone in hand.  The older man turned and his eyes widened as they took in the view of Yuuri leaning against the door, one foot sliding over his leg.  “Beautiful,” he murmured pulling himself out of the bed and coming to meet him, his hands skimming over Yuuri’s hips.

 

Yuuri danced out of his hold with a shake of his fingers.  “No hands,” he teased, taking Victor’s wrist and settling him into a chair in the middle of the room with a good view of the pole.  With his phone, he moved into the first  [ song  ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nyeIXR87c4) of the night.  He teased with the first notes, his hands fluttering over Victor’s body smirking at Victor’s groan.  He then reached up and climbed the pole, winding his body around it as he teased Victor with smoldering looks and provocative movements.  If Yuuri hadn’t gone into skating, hadn’t gone into dance, he could have gone into gymnastics, his movements clean and beautiful...and defied gravity, much like his ass.  Twisting off into a dismount, he moved into Victor’s space but every time Victor reached for him, Yuuri danced out of his reach teasing him with a shake of his finger and a twist of his hip.

 

“Yuuuuuuriiii,” he whined, grabbing hold of the seat of his chair as the  [ music ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UHxolQdMmOU) transitioned.  Yuuri wound his body around Victor moving his hips in and out of his husband’s space, hands sliding over Victor’s body before settling into the older man’s lap.  He leaned in for a dirty kiss even as his hips teased Victor.  The strangled moan came out of Victor’s throat as he fought not to let loose from the chair knowing instinctively Yuuri would move away.  The fringe from the shorts teased down Victor’s bare skin as Yuuri shimmied those hips against him.  “Please, Yuuri,” he begged.

 

“Please what, Vitya?” Yuuri teased, leaning in to nibble against his earlobe, kisses moving down his lover’s chin.

 

“Please let me touch you,” he breathed leaning his cheek in and grabbing hold of the contact.

 

“Do you want to touch me?  Or do you want these shorts to come off?”

 

Victor’s eyes widened.  “Oh, fuck!”  He wanted to touch the man, to help tug down those shorts, to reach down and feel Yuuri’s heat.  But damn… “Take ‘em off, baby.”

 

Yuuri smirked, dancing off of Victor’s hips.  Next to the pole he placed one hand on the cold metal, the other teasing out the elastic of the waistband as he undulated his hips.  Not wanting to waste the fringe, he turned and shimmied his hips before sliding the  shorts down in one smooth movement hearing the groan from the man in the chair.  Kicking the shorts away, he glanced over his shoulder and reached up the pole teasingly.

 

“Oh, please, baby...don’t disappear up the pole.  I need you,” Victor begged.

 

Yuuri snorted before sacheting over to his husband settling into the older man’s lap.  Reaching down, he pulled those hands free of the chair.  “Since you’ve been good for me,” he responded.  Pressing his hips into Victor, he heard the man gasp even as his hands gripped around Yuuri’s ass enjoying the fleshy roundness as they massaged Yuuri through the gyrations.  Yuuri dipped down and caught his lips in a kiss and he felt those arms tighten around him.  Leaning back, Victor’s lips trailed down his throat then chest even as Yuuri continued to move his hips in small circles against him.

 

“If you don’t let me fuck you soon, Yuuri, I’m going to come apart in between us.”  Yuuri reached for his husband’s hand and slid it down to his entrance.  The older man’s eyes widened.  “Oh, you did prepare.”

 

“Mmmmhmmm,” Yuuri responded, dipping in to kiss along Victor’s neck before lifting his hips so Victor could line up before Yuuri slowly lowered himself on the long length moaning as Victor filled him.  “This is what I’ve been waiting for,” he breathed, loving the fullness.  He stilled for a moment, allowing his body to settle around Victor.  Then he began once more moving those hips, Victor’s hands guiding him up and down and following the twists and turns offered by the dancer in his lap.

 

“Fuck, Yuuri!  Fuck!” he called out.  _  I really hope the soundproofing is good _ , he thought in passing but then lost connection to thought as he felt himself spiralling into his pleasure.  Yuuri’s hips snapped hard and Victor was losing his grip quickly.  “I’m going to come!”

 

“I’m...coming now,” Yuuri cried out and Victor felt his husband’s walls spasming in orgasm as the warmth filled the space between their stomachs.  Victor cried out as he was pulled over the edge releasing hard into his husband.

 

Breathless, they held onto each other.  “God, I love you,” Victor whispered against his skin.

 

“Mmmm...and I love you,” Yuuri replied.  They remained still for a few more minutes before Victor helped Yuuri up and guided him back into the shower.  Once clean, they stepped into their favorite luxury...the private onsen  [ bath ](http://www.hakoneyuryo.jp/english/image/hotsprings/img_keyvisual_04.jpg) out the door of their room.  

 

* * *

  
  
  


Time was winding up in Hasetsu and Nina’s birthday was approaching.  August 15.  They would be flying back to St. Petersburg that day.  Yuuri’s family wanted to celebrate her birthday, however, and began organizing the event, the Nishigoris also taking part.  Using a Princess Mononoke theme, they organized crafts for the girls (and maybe a teenage boy or two).   [ Masks  ](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/3f/45/b0/3f45b0ea9af137e52382938b2dbf63ee--kawaii-crafts-princess-mononoke.jpg) and  [ spears ](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/fe/24/f8/fe24f8669cf9f3340eef5d3e30ceee34.png) , a showing of the movie, a cake, and of course katsudon.  Yuuko helped Yuuri make the cake while the girls ran around the beach with the rest of the men wearing their masks and bearing their spears they made during the crafting session.  When they returned, katsudon was served while Hiroko fussed over her granddaughter.  Then Yuuri and Yuuko brought out the  [ cake ](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/d6/54/57/d65457c6a3802ad1a3c577cb70e8bc09.jpg) while she clapped in excitement.

 

The flight was early and they said all of their goodbyes that night.  Hiroko turned around several times brushing tears from her eyes.  “It’s so much harder to let you go every time,” she murmured to Yuuri as his arm slipped around her shoulder.  He pulled her into a warm hug.

 

“Soon.  Another year.  Then we will live her permanently.  And...I’m ready.”

 

“Is Vicchan?”

 

Yuuri became thoughtful considering his husband.  “I think...he says he’s happy wherever I’m at.  So I think he will be ready.  We just have to get through this year.”

 

“We’ll be watching you, my son,” she said softly but then hugged him once more.

 

Toshiya was out in the garden with Andrei as he showed the younger man how to trim the tiny tree.  They had worked all summer on small projects, things Toshiya could teach and show with limited English and a lot of motion.  Andrei found he liked the quietness of his Sofu.

 

The girls were all in tears as they were separated for the night.  They fussed about how they would keep in touch when Yuuko rolled her eyes and pointed out they all had phones although Yuuri was much more strict and texting had to go through the family phone.    

 

Mari stood next to the van where the birthday gains were loaded up and waited.  Nina peeked around her Chichi and giggled when she spotted her aunt.  Then she darted off until Mari made to chase her.  Leaning against the wall, Mari knew she was hiding on the back patio.  Could even pinpoint where she could be found.  She didn’t have near the skill at hiding that Yuuri had at that age.  “I guess you’ll have to stay with us in Japan,” she deadpanned.  The gasp from the hiding spot drew a smirk from the woman.  She moved into position then lifted the giggling and squealing little blond.  “There you are!”

 

As she settled, the blond sobered.  “I wish my family all lived together.”

 

Mari sighed.  “We all wish that but soon you will join us in Japan and stay here in your house.”

 

The tiny girl settled in her aunt’s arms.  “I...think I’ll like that.  But I’m scared, too.”

 

“Why are you scared?”  Mari looked at the somber little face.

 

“I’ll be different from everyone.”

 

“You know, your Chichi is different from everyone up in Russia but he was brave and went anyway.  I think you can be just as brave.”

 

Nina considered the words.  “Do you think he was scared?”

 

“I know he was.  Yuuri is scared so very often...but he works hard to not let that control him.”

 

“I can be brave,” she decided, snuggling into the crook of Mari’s neck.

 

The older woman carried her over and relinquished her to her fathers.  Looking at Andrei, she added, “Keep making music, squirt!”

 

Then with a wave, the family separated.  It was still a few hours before Yuuri settled everyone down, last minute packing and fussing.  Finally, he fell in an exhausted heap against Victor.  The older man would handle the morning chaos when Yuuri was less coherent.    
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a Minako/Celestino story plotted out. Elements from the various universes. Past and present.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Precompetition family life...and lots of domestic fluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to my editors Blu and Mags!

* * *

 

**August 2017 - St. Petersburg, Russia**

 

Back home, the family began preparing for the kids to return to school.  The children needed new uniforms and school supplies.  Knowing he would have to surrender some time to academics, Andrei hit piano practice hard both at home and with Lidiya.  Chopin seemed to ring throughout the residence through the waking hours.  Yuuri and Victor took Nina with them to the rink and she moved from the ice to the studio to curling up in the room where the younger skaters did their homework and took their breaks.  A TV buzzed in the background.  Wifi supported phones, computers, and iPads.  She peeked over Yura’s shoulder while he worked on his first college courses.

 

“That math looks hard,” she whispered.

 

Yura grinned as he pulled her into his lap.  “It’s harder than yours but I’ve had more practice.”  He saw the little girl watching the live stream of his class with a mixture of eager interest and horrified embarrassment.  Leaning in, he added, “They can’t hear you.”

 

The little girl settled more comfortably knowing that it was only her and her current favorite.  “What is it?”

 

“Algebra.  More than high school algebra.  College Algebra.”

 

She pouted, Yura seldom lied her to her but this couldn’t be math.  “And it has letters.”

 

Yura nodded and then took out his paper.  He drew a smiley face as a variable, then followed it up with a ‘+ 3 = 5’.  “What number goes in place of the smile?”

 

She screwed up her face for a moment then her eyes widened.  “Two!”

 

“Exactly.  That’s algebra.  Finding the missing pieces.”  Yura petted the soft blonde hair and enjoyed the radiance of her smile.

 

Satisfied and feeling very successful and grown up Nina turned a critical eye to the class on the screen.  “That’s not too hard.”

 

Yura chuckled at the confidence, “Well, it gets more complicated the more you do, but not too hard.  We just use letters instead of smiles.  They do teach us tricks though to make it easier.”

 

“What do you do with it?”

 

Yura shrugged.  “It helps me figure out how to solve other problems.  If you can solve a simpler problem, then harder problems are easier.  It’s like stripping out all of the noise and looking at the bare pieces of the problem.”

 

“Like when Beka is working on his bike?” she asked.

 

Yura laughed.  “Maybe.  More like when I have this skip of time and I need to insert an element that will allow me to maximize points versus energy.  I don’t want to use too much energy at the beginning of the show that I’m unable to get to the end, but I also have to worry about putting elements in too late when I have less energy.”  Yuri’s hands moved across the surface showing the progression of the skate he was imagining.

 

Nina watched his face as he talked about skating.  “Do you miss Beka?”

 

Yura smiled, but it was edged with sadness.  “I do...but we both need to focus on our programs.  It’s an important year.”

 

“I know.  Papa and Chichi have been very busy.”

 

He heard the loneliness in her voice.  “Are you okay?”

 

She shrugged, and Yura knew she was dodging.  He pulled her tighter into his lap.  He’d have to replay the video later but for now, the munchkin needed him.  “Talk to me.”

 

“I know it’s important.  But...sometimes I just wish we were a normal family.”

 

Yuri hugged her close and rested his cheek in her curls.  “I’ve got a secret for you.  Normal families go through periods where they are real busy, too.  Then things slow down.  But if you need anything, we would all drop what we are doing and take care of you.  You know this, don’t you?”

 

She shrugged feeling her pout coming on before she buried her face in Yuri’s shoulder.  “I’ll be okay.  I just...wish I had someone to play with sometimes.”

 

Loneliness was something Yura could understand.  He reached in his pocket and pulled out  his phone shooting a text over to the dads.

 

**Yura/ Nina needs a playmate.**

 

It took some time to get a reply.  Yuuri’s response came first and by that time, she’d moved on and was distracted while playing with Cocoa.  Yuri relayed the conversation in short text messages.  He didn’t know anyone the right age.

 

When Yuuri came up to the lounge, he scooped up his daughter who giggled in response.  “Chichi!”

 

“Hey, sweetheart.  Do you want to hang out for a while?”

 

“You need to skate,” she argued.

 

“I can skate later.  Let’s go get some ice cream.”  He mouthed a  _ thank you _ over the curly head to Yura who nodded in answer.  They walked out hand in hand and she giggled in delight when she found Papa waiting in the minivan.

 

“School is starting soon and we thought you might like to meet your new teacher.”

 

“Really?”  She climbed into her seat and let Yuuri secure her in.

 

“Yes.  She’s working in her new classroom and we volunteered to help her set up.”

 

They drove over to the community elementary school and the two men led her inside.  Teachers were busy sorting out their classrooms and decorating as Yuuri and Victor walked down the hall to the second grade classrooms.  A knock on the door revealed a familiar  [ face ](http://russificateschool.com/wp-content/uploads/tutor_5.jpg) .

 

“Sveta!” she cried out excitedly.  “But I thought you taught third grade!”

 

The brunette bent down to meet the little eyes sparkling in delight.  “They have too many second graders and not enough teachers.  So I volunteered to move down a grade.  But I may need some extra help.  Do you think you can be my helper this year?”

 

She nodded eagerly.  The two men smiled warmly at Georgi’s girlfriend, someone who hadn’t been scared off by the skater’s neediness.  The two parent volunteers, student and teacher became involved with unpacking books and setting up a classroom library, cutting out paper to create a welcoming  [ environment ](https://iearnusa.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/tb_russia.gif?w=800&h=453) for the rest of the students, colorful name labels, plants, and many other welcoming  [ touches ](http://globallanguagelearners.weebly.com/russia-travel-blog/the-russian-educational-system-vs-the-american-system) .  The environment wasn’t cluttered, no distractions present, but there was a warmth created by Sveta’s personal touches.  And while she was there, Nina chatted with Sveta, telling her that she knew how to do Algebra and teaching her the equation Yura had demonstrated earlier.  Sveta laughed warmly and said she must be very smart.

 

As the family returned home that evening, Nina talked excitedly about her new teacher, telling both Yura and Andrei she would have Sveta this year.  She was still talking while Yura made dinner.  She continued talking when her Papa had her shower.  And she chatted away while her Chichi read to her  [ Babushka’s Doll ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9CnzDpBHldE) .  Finally, she settled down and curled up with Makkachin to sleep.

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


Andrei sat in the studio with Lidiya.  “I’ve never been in a place like this before.”

 

She laughed warmly.  “Get used to it, Dyusha.  We will be spending a lot of time in this studio.  You will lay out other tracks to send in for competitions.”

 

Andrei squeezed in his shoulders excitedly.  “I don’t know where I want to go yet, but I’m glad I have you to open the doors, Madame Lidiya.”

 

“Of course, I am happy to do so.  Besides, you work so hard for me.  And you have the ear to pick up the nuances in the music.”

 

Andrei knew his music,  [ Spring Waltz ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vrcP0VWV320) , and the adaptations that would make it Yuuri’s short program.  When he told the Japanese man his plan to enter the Chopin competition, Yuuri asked him if he’d like to prepare the piece that he would skate to.  Andrei had been afraid to commit to the idea at first.  It would be heard every time Yuuri performed and that made Andrei nervous, so many ears on his music.  But Lidiya encouraged him, telling him the experience would improve his resume when he sought out conservatories for study.  So he reluctantly agreed but became more enthusiastic as time moved forward.

 

The classical music complemented the younger of his fathers, the man soft and delicate in his movements.  Andrei smiled as he remembered Yuuri working through his choreography with Minako over the summer.  He may appear soft and demure, but he was finely disciplined and Andrei hoped he could grow into such strength as exhibited by the Japanese man.

 

It took four takes but Andrei finally had two solid versions for Yuuri to consider.  “Do you think it is good enough?”

 

“I think it is perfect, Andrei.  Let’s take you to the rink so you can give it to him.”

 

An hour later, they sat in the privacy of the ballet studio Yuuri often taught from and listened to the recordings.  Andrei watched Yuuri’s expression, could see the tugs and pulls of emotion as the skater imagined his program set to the music Andrei provided.  Finally, he looked up and met the grey eyes with a smile.  “Perfect.  Thank you, Andrei.”

 

The teen ducked down bashfully even as Yuuri pulled him into an embrace.  Lidiya smiled warmly at the exchange.  “I guess I’ll leave you both to it.  Andrei, I expect you at my house bright and early for practice.”

 

He turned and smiled.  “I’ll have Papa drop me off on the way to the rink.”

 

“Good!  We have a lot of work to do before school begins.”

 

* * *

  
  
  


The blond kitten frowned at what Lilia was suggesting.  “I don’t want to look like a ballerina, Madame Lilia,” he argued.  “Can we put a modern interpretation on this?”

 

“The sugar plum fairy is classic,” she argued.

 

Yuri frowned wishing he had not taken Victor up on his suggestion that he bring the older woman to find his costume.  “It’s...not what I had in mind.”

 

Lilia huffed.  “Well, what do you have in mind?”

 

“I was thinking...deep plum purple skate pants and have the top fade from the deep purple to a frosted light color like the real thing... [ sugar plums ](http://www.stewardtoday.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/seasonal-decorations-sugar-plum-christmas-ornaments-8211-set-of-3-3.jpg) .  Black accents, and the shirt kind of drapey.”

 

“Like it’s cowling,” the designer picked up quickly sketching the design.  She worked quickly to draw the design out using bold copic markers to show the color and folds.  Turning it around, she showed him what she imagined.

 

“Yes!”  He looked excitedly from the picture to Lilia.

 

“It’s simple.  Classic.  I like it,” she pronounced.  With her approval, he nodded to the designer to make it ready.  It even included deep plum skate gloves in the design.  One more decision out of the way, he followed Lilia out of the studio.

 

* * *

  
  


**September 2017 - St. Petersburg**

 

School started for the kids, which meant the two Yu(u)ris and Victor were focused on gearing up for the first Grand Prix assignments.  Yura had the first competition mid-October in Moscow.  Yuuri would follow at Skate Canada at the end of October.  Victor didn’t compete until Cup of China during the first week of November.  Since no competitions coincided, they determined that travel would be limited to personal competitions through the Grand Prix series.  Yuuri teamed up with Minako and Celestino for coaching support so that Victor could focus on his last season.

 

Of course, Victor pouted.  “But...we work so well together.  I want to support you.”

 

Yuuri smiled, his hand going up to cup Victor’s cheek.  “And I want to support you.  Therefore, you will travel to your competitions and I’ll travel to mine...and we’ll meet at the final.  As competitors.  Next year, honey.  When you are retired.  Then you can be my dedicated coach.”

 

Victor huffed, his lip puckering a little at the prospect.  “But you will practice here in St. Petersburg?”

 

Yuuri rolled his eyes at Victor’s dramatics.  “Of course!  I have two kids here...three…”  He blinked and then narrowed his eyes at his husband adding “...make that four.  Trust me, my hands are full.  I can’t train elsewhere.  Yakov and Ciao Ciao are working together with my training but Yakov is happy to relinquish having me as a skater to chase around.  And if Ciao Ciao can’t be there, Minako will.  It’s already worked out.”

 

“If you would just let me…”  Victor’s whine was silenced before he even started.

 

“Next year, sweetheart,” Yuuri murmured sliding his arms around Victor’s neck.  “We have two children that need parents at home.  Yura is grown, but Nina is far from it.  Andrei is somewhere in between.  By doing this, that means one of us is here for them.  Then we can splurge and take them with us to the Final.”  He toyed with Victor’s hair sliding his fingers into the silver silk.  “It will make me happier if we are here for the kids and they suffer less for our schedule.”

 

“I...want you to be happy.  And I want to be here for the kids.  I...suppose we can do it your way, my Yuuri,” he relented.

 

Yuuri tipped up on his toes.  “Thank you, Vitya.”

 

* * *

  
  


Victor sat with his designer looking over the final touches for his costumes.  “I really like this one,” he said with a smile.  “I loved watching the performance from  [ Cher ](http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/awards/cher-marks-71st-birthday-with-nearnude-billboard-music-awards-appearance/news-story/6ec4bc00d8951e5c52a7c7ef6ae23e84) that inspired it and am excited that she’s agreed to the program.”

 

“Well, the adaptation was fun, using the black sequins for your sparkle.  Are you going to wear a wig?”

 

Victor laughed.  “Don’t think I didn’t consider it.  If it were an exhibition skate, you know I would.  But I will be doing a full face of makeup.”

 

“I can’t wait to see it!”

 

Victor pulled on the sheer top with added flair mimicking Cher’s outfit along with the skate pants to admire his appearance in the mirror.  The collaboration with the icon had been a dream come true to Victor and he couldn’t believe she went along with it.

 

He stepped out for the designer to make a few finishing touches before undressing and hanging it up.  His Last Unicorn costume was white with silver and white fringe along the diagonal line of the lapel.  More fringe went down the opposite arm with a white glove.  A dove gray glove would grace the other hand.  The designer used gray to create texture and highlight in the white sheer fabric.  A sprinkling of crystals and the look was complete.

 

* * *

  
  
  


Andrei looked out over the darkened audience in the school concert hall.  Each student was showcasing their music for the upcoming season.  Andrei could remember a time when he had no one to watch him.  Today, he had everyone from his fathers and sister to Ivan and Mila.  Getting enough tickets took some finagling, but if Andrei learned anything on the streets, it was how to trade to get what he wanted.  As he took his place on the piano bench, he found a soft smile.  He’d worked hard for this.  He began the challenging “ [ Winter Wind ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8rJonlfjlWg) ” movement by Chopin as the hall hushed.  It was meant to be a juxtaposition to  _ Spring Waltz _ and he loved the ice sound of the music.  Maybe next season he could prepare this one for his Chichi.  A free skate where his father skated the storm across the ice.  He could see it already.  The piece would push the man the way he preferred, challenged, demanded.

 

As he finished, his fingers stilling over the keys, he heard the applause.  Blush moved up his cheeks.  He heard the errors and knew the people in the audience that were trained would have heard them as well...but it was beautiful still the same.  He could hear Yuuri’s voice in his thoughts reassuring him through the error.  “I make mistakes and the trick is not to let that mistake rule me.  Sometimes I succeed; sometimes I fail.  In the end, I have to know I did my best for the program.  That I honored the music with my performance.”

 

As Andrei stood to make his bow, he felt confident that he honored the music.

  
  
  


NOTES:  For those who didn’t catch Sveta’s introduction, click  [ here ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12898428/chapters/31334217) to see Nina’s first birthday with the boys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have two more chapters almost written so they should work into the mix of my other stories...so maybe every three days?


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rostelecom...and maybe some family moments before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ll be revealing their programs little by little over the next few chapters. Each competition, one or two programs. I hope you enjoy the selections I’ve made. I will put together a playlist soon. That being said, I want it known that anytime you see extensive choreography in my writing, that’s all BluSkates. Such as Yura’s skating below.

* * *

 

 

**St. Petersburg - October 2017**

 

The team of photographers, hair and makeup artists, and two journalists from  _ On Ice _ gathered at the rink as the ice skaters moved in and out of their practice routines.  Yuuri watched from above, perched on the walkway to Yakov’s office that the old coach used so often to oversee the ice, then he slipped away to his studio...indeed at this point everyone at the rink referred to it as Yuuri’s studio...it was where one would go if they wanted Yuuri to help them work through something in particular using his skills as a dance instructor.  Even some of the hockey players had begun seeking the man out for help with stretches and foot patterns.  They would leave impressed at the power he kept in his compact body.  Victor caught a glimpse of the full dark hair as he disappeared.

 

The photoshoot had been planned for weeks.  The Russian team had a number of hopefuls in several disciplines for the upcoming Olympics and the magazine wanted to get an inside scoop of the daily lives of the skaters.

 

The Babicheva sisters came first.  Mila and Katya sat with the reporter telling them what it was like to grow up on the ice.  Katya, a pairs skater, already held an Olympic gold medal with her partner Pyotr.  Now retired, they were spending the season as extra support at the St. Petersburg rink.    When asked where her partner was, Katya said he was helping Victor work with some of the younger skaters.  Mila, a figure skater, hoped to podium but everyone knew a silver would be a losing medal to her.  Chances were good, unless Sara Crispino pulled a trick out of her sleeve.  Mila stood at the top of her sport with a clear gap otherwise.  Anya was brought into the interview soon after and she talked about the difference between ice dancing versus pairs.  Kayta bristled occasionally at the compliments the brunnuette paid to her field while implying pairs was little more than acrobatics.

 

Ivan and Dmitry talked about working with some of the best skaters in the world.  Georgi’s interview kept straying to the love of his life Sveta and how his angel inspired him.

 

When they finally caught up to Victor, the questions became more personal.   _ What is it like working so closely with, and competing against, your husband? _  Victor quirked an eyebrow at the predictable yet inevitable question... _ Well, at least they weren’t going to tap dance around his for too long. _  “So far he’s kept his program a secret this year.  I’m waiting as eagerly as the rest of his fans for his first competition just to get a glimpse.”  _  Will you be traveling with your spouse to competitions this time around? _  “No, we have decided the best way to support each other is to be home with our family as much as possible.  I’ll be viewing my husband’s skates on the television in the living room with our children...and anyone else from the Russian team who happens to stop by.”   _ How will this affect your skating?  _  “Yuuri is a strong contender and I plan to give him the competition he deserves.”   _ We haven’t seen Mr. Katsuki since the interviews began, where might we find him? _  Victor laughed at this.  “Hiding.  If I were to guess, he’s working in his studio.  Shall we look for him?”

 

Victor then led them up the stairs and down the hall.  Piano music could be heard pouring through the closed door.  Victor tapped on the door before entering with the reporter and photographer.  They caught Yuuri working with the younger Yuri on a stretch along a vertical pole, one of four the room was equipped with along with the ballet barres along the two opposing walls.

 

“This isn’t your typical ballet studio,” the reporter surmised.  The photographer began setting up a couple of action shots, smiling at the juxtaposition of the brass vertical and wooden horizontal poles.

 

Yuuri looked at him with amusement.  “And what makes it atypical?  We have barres, mirrors, mats, and wood floors sprung for dancing.  Some of our barres just happen to be vertical.  However, it helps us take a stretch to a whole new level.”  With that, he demonstrated a  [ bielman ](https://78.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_md4nz5jKBI1rkcmqio1_500.jpg) with use of the pole.  

 

The photographer snapped a few pictures featuring the Japanese man’s flexibility while the reporter asked, “What’s it like training among the Russians?”

 

Yuuri released the pole and dropped into a split next to the blond Yuri.  “I don’t think of it like that.  Maybe at first but...not really.  They are not “the Russians”; they are my friends and extended family.”  He reached out a hand to rub a circle into the blond’s back, appreciating how the touch was accepted quietly.

 

The reporter was already taking notes on his pad.  “Do you get as much time with Coach Feltsman as the rest of the team?”

 

Yuuri frowned at the question as he considered his training.  “I work with a team of coaches and I assist others as part of their team.  Coach Feltsman has generously worked with me and helped me to improve in many ways.  However, I still work with Coach Celestino and Minako-sensei as well.  Victor, who as you know has coached and guided me in the past,  is taking a step back as my coach this year to focus on his Olympic program.  Madame Lilia has not only trained me but mentored me so well that am confident when I one day run my own studio.  So, I would like to answer that I receive more than enough coaching support, but that support comes from many sources.”

 

“And you were assisting Yuri Plisetsky when we walked in,” the reporter stated.

 

Yuuri smiled over at the blond.  “It’s not unusual for me to assist a number of the skaters.  My profession might be in figure skating but I’ve been trained in ballet since a very young age by some of the top dancers in the world.  Yuri is also part of my family and as such, he knows he can demand my attention when he needs it.”

 

Yuri rolled his eyes and offered a “pffft” in response drawing the reporter’s attention.  “Do you disagree?”

 

“I more than agree.  Yuuri’s biggest problem is saying no so that he can focus on his own programs.”  Looking at the older skater he added, “that doesn’t seem to stop him from being a strong contender in competition.”

 

Yuuri was invited to join the rest of the Russian team in the photo shoot and as the team gathered around wearing their various Russian jackets, Yuuri sat in front of them, his legs stretched in a split wearing his signature blue Mizuno jacket from Japan.  He then leaned forward with the Russian team crowding over him for a second shot.  The magazine satisfied, the team returned to their practice.  

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


Victor came in from a late evening meeting with a few sponsors to the house dark and children either asleep or at least tucked away in their rooms.  Yura had left with Yakov earlier that day to head to Moscow with a few of the other skaters competing for the Rostelecom Cup.  The older man hung his coat up in the closet and moved to his bedroom.

 

Victor stilled at the sight before him.  In a candle lit room, his eyes sought out his husband and was instantly rewarded.  The Japanese man sat in the middle of the bed on his knees, his chin tucked against his shoulder, peering from beneath his lashes.  What he wore had Victor stuttering, for draped loosely over his shoulders was the Russian’s  [ Olympic jacket ](https://pantip.com/topic/35862195) .  Victor licked his lips in response.

 

“Yuuri…”  His took that deep, husky tone when he grew thirsty at the site of his husband.

 

“I missed you...and this jacket smells so much like you,” he murmured.

 

Victor nodded with a swallow, moving in closer to his husband.  “I’m sorry I was so long.”  Crawling across the bed, he took in the entire picture.  Yuuri, in the red and white jacket skimming over his hips and thighs.  Black  [ panties ](https://flashyouandme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/PT1-T03-B.jpg) in contrast.  Vulnerable brown eyes waiting.  Yuuri’s lips parted even as Victor drew closer, his hands closing over the white and red fabric gracing his husband’s body, his lips closing over the hungry pout of the Japanese man.  Yuuri answered with a moan that sent fire down Victor’s veins.

 

As their lips parted, Victor responded with a gruff voice, “I appear to be overdressed.”

 

“You should fix that,” Yuuri teased as his fingers began working the tie loose.

 

“Don’t lose that jacket,” he demanded as he started pulling back to divest himself of the rest of his clothes.  “I want you to wear it as you ride me.”

 

“Mmmm,” Yuuri responded with a smile.  “I think I can accommodate your request.”

 

As Victor rejoined him, naked and already hard, he slid his hands beneath the jacket, sliding into the elastic of the panties while his lips found Yuuri’s.  They kissed sloppily, swallowing one another’s groans when Victor’s finger traced down the cleft of Yuuri’s ass only for his eyes to widen as he realized just how ready and waiting Yuuri was for him.  “Oh, my Yuuri,” he moaned into the kiss.

 

Shifting back into the bed, he pulled Yuuri into his lap, pulling the panties down just below his ass and freeing Yuuri’s hardened member in front.  Reaching for the lube, Yuuri ran the slick substance down Victor’s length.  Victor’s hands were moving back and forth down his husband’s thighs.  Yuuri then positioned himself to sink down slowly over Victor’s hardened length.  

 

Yuuri took him all the way in, the stretch against the panties causing the fabric to give way.  He looked down with a wry grin.  “It’s a good thing those weren’t one of my favorites.”

 

Victor chuckled, his hands coming to rest on Yuuri’s hips.  “I’ll buy you new ones.  All of the black panties for my Yuuri.”

 

Yuuri rolled his eyes but then followed up with a roll of his hips.  His lips parted in pleasure and Victor watched rapt at his expression.  The jacket cradled Yuuri hanging over his shoulders, draping over the two of them as Yuuri leaned forward to adjust the position.  Victor thrust his hips up pleased by the answering gasp and then the moan as he dropped back down.

 

They found their rhythm with Victor reaching between them to stroke Yuuri’s length.  Yuuri’s lips were parted, his breathing labored as he worked to bring them to orgasm.  Victor could feel himself slipping along the edge, his partner’s precum telling him that Yuuri was drawing close.  Victor watched the brown eyes blinking rapidly then relax and widen, his expression drawing slack with pleasure and then Yuuri’s cry as he released hard across Victor’s chest.  The Russian rode out Yuuri’s orgasm as Yuuri continued to rock in his lap, Victor releasing with a groan into his husband.  The older man tightened his arms around Yuuri hugging him close, lips seeking whatever skin was available to drop kisses.

 

Yuuri finally rose up on shaky arms and looked at the jacket with a frown.  “Whose turn is it this time to explain to the drycleaners about the jacket?”

 

Victor smirked.  “It’s yours, baby.  If you like, though, I’ll go in with you.”

 

Yuuri narrowed his eyes at the man lying beneath him.  “How magnanimous of you to want to watch me squirm in the presence of that dour old lady.”

 

Victor chuckled.  “You know she’s seen it all.”

 

“Thankfully, she’s discrete.”

 

* * *

  
  


**Rostelecom Cup - October 20-22 - Moscow**

 

Chris smiled as he watched the two young lovers chatting in the hotel lobby.  The little blond leaned into the Kazakhstan's space.  Although Chris knew Yuuri and Victor had relaxed the boundaries greatly on Yuri, the action of the boy still spoke of innocence and of the man, one of protective waiting.   _ Good job, Chaton, find you a good man from the start.  One that will never hurt you but will always look after you. _  Of course with Yuuri and Victor as the standard, he couldn’t see Yuri standing for less.

 

The two skaters moved away and Chris found his own lover, Phichit having insisted on joining him in Moscow.  “It’s only a few hours from Switzerland.  It would be silly not to,” he argued.  Of course, Chris countered that he could be in Detroit with Ciao Ciao cleaning up his program before Skate Canada.  Phichit rolled his eyes.  “I’ll be fine, love.  I’m just not ready to be away from you, yet.”

 

Chris had melted into that argument, or perhaps it was the bewitching dark eyes.  Phichit had his way of casting spells over the Swiss.  The confident touch coaxing Chris to ecstasy, the smoldering gaze tempting Chris to abandon all logic.  His little minx, for better or worse, was with him in Moscow.

 

* * *

  
  


Yura curled up like a kitten on the bed he would share with Beka.  Yakov hadn’t been happy with the sleeping arrangements, going as far as to call Victor to argue the point.  However, he did not find the ally he had wanted.

 

Victor simply stated, “They basically lived together for four months and Yura is legally of age.  He knows his own mind and has proven he can make good decisions.  It’s his body and his heart.  Besides, Otabek has shown himself to be very responsible, placing Yura’s care before his own even.  I couldn’t argue them apart if I tried.”  In the end, the older coach relented, grumbling of course, which Yuri would ignore...of course.

 

He stretched catlike full body across the bed, the sunlight catching dust motes dancing across its beam as it settled across the bed.  Beka walked into the room and glanced towards the younger man lazily stretching.  “Are you feeling rested?”

 

“Da?  I only traveled from St. Petersburg.”  The sharp tenor of his voice teased against Otabek’s music sense.  Their time spent together had revealed so much of each to one another.  Yura’s vulnerability, often hidden by a fiery exterior, was tied to his mother’s mental illness and his fear of inheriting the instability himself, cursing a partner to the hardship that he suffered as a child.  He feared growing older and all signs of physical age and growth tore at him.  Otabek knew that Yura’s hesitant sexual awakening was tied to that and held back.  His own homelife had been stable with parents providing him and his sisters a number of opportunities others lacked.

 

Otabek ran his hand down the long spine.  Yura twisted to face him even as the Kazakhstani lowered himself to stretch out next to him.  The room had two beds but they had every intention of sharing.  The strong hand supported the seemingly delicate form next to him.  Beka knew better.  Yura was the strongest man he knew.

 

“I’ve missed you,” Otabek murmured as his lips found the other’s.  A soft mewl met him in return as Yura curled into his arms.  Beka laughed softly.  “You haven’t changed a bit.”

 

“It’s been two and a half months.  I hate the Olympics,” he pouted.

 

“Liar,” the Kazakhstani argued, his hand tightening against Yura’s back pulling him closer.  He sucked on that pout and dipped in deeper for a kiss, taking in the other’s tongue and hunger.

 

Pulling back, green eyes studied him.  “I wish we could train together.”

 

Otabek shook his head.  There was a reason he held back from making that move.  The younger man wasn’t as ready as he put forth.  Otabek saw it in the uncertainties of his touch, the late night confessions of his words.  “Not yet.  Besides...I have university to finish.  And you are helping Victor and Yuuri set up the program in Japan.  I know you are excited about that.”

 

“I’d be more excited if you were there.”

 

The older man chuckled.  “I’m sure you would.  Our time will come...until then, we’ll steal these moments.”

 

With a huff, the blond pushed out of bed.  “Let’s get out of here.  I want to go...somewhere.”

 

“Show me around?” he suggested.

 

Yura chewed his lip then lifted green eyes.  “Do you want...to meet my mother?”

 

Otabek knew to expect anything from his kitten but this, he did not.  He blinked in surprise.  He knew Yura had a tumultuous relationship with his mother.  He had been caregiver when he was far too young before the blond’s grandfather intervened.  He realized he had waited too long to reply because Yura continued, “It’s just that...I try to check on her when I’m in Moscow.  I know...it’s not good for me.  To stay with her, that is.”

 

“I’ll go with you.  Where...is she staying?”

 

Yura shrugged.  “I have to check with Claire.  She...looks out for Mama.  But maybe...it will be a good day.”

 

* * *

  
  


An hour later, Otabek met the woman that gave birth to the man he loved.  She regarded him with green eyes, so similar to her son’s but...they were...not near as sharp.  “So you are with my Yura?” she asked.  Her fingers combed through her son’s golden hair.  Hers in contrast was faded, like a flower that had been dried to preserve the beauty but faded and drawn.  “He could be like me.”

 

The words cut through the air like a dagger.  Yura gasped but then covered quickly, pretending he hadn’t heard.  “He’s not,” Otabek stated.  “He is a soldier, strong and sure.”

 

She laughed bitterly.  “The same could have been said about me at one time.  Then the voices came.  I fought and fought.  Then one day they crowd everything out.”  She was quiet, studying the fountain.  They had walked from a stand to a park nearby, sitting at a picnic table.  The brisk air hadn’t reached frigid temperatures yet.  It was only October.  Still, they wore wool coats and scarves.  She finally said quietly, “Today is a good day.”

 

A small smile flitted to Yura’s lips.  He squeezed her free hand.  Leaning his head in, he accepted the little bit of love she was able to give him.  Otabek could see the child hungry within him.  He never...had enough.   _ I will love you until you know...enough.  This is why I wait, Yura. _

 

Then she spoke.  “How is your grandfather, Yura?”

 

“Mama…” he whispered, his eyes darting up searching her face.  “Grandpa passed away.  You were at the funeral.”

 

That seemed to confuse her and her eyes cast about searching desperately for foundation.  “I-I forgot.  Where are you living?”

 

“I live with Victor and Yuuri.  They helped you get into the hospital after it happened.  You...weren’t well.”

 

She was silent as that information settled around her.  Finally, she whispered, “I’m sorry.”

 

“It’s not your fault, Mama.  It just is.”

 

She looked up at Otabek and held his eyes.  “You...would leave him if he became like me?”

 

Yura straightened, gasping at her words, his eyes darting to Otabek.  The dark eyes held hers for a long time before he stated, “I won’t leave.”

 

She turned her eyes to the boy beside her...for at the moment that was how he appeared.  She smoothed his hair out and held his eyes.  “Maybe...he is your Claire.”

 

Perhaps Yura never understood until that moment the nature of Claire’s relationship with his mother.  Friends...but were they lovers?  At one time?  He didn’t know.  His mother was always...ethereal.  Somewhere just beyond reach.  Yet Claire watched over her.

 

Turning to Otabek, he murmured, “I...want more.”

 

She hugged him close.  “So do I...but we make do with what we have.”  She leaned her cheek against his hair before adding, “And hope someone is there when we fall apart.”

 

Green eyes flicked up to hold Otabek’s as he answered, “He was.”

 

That seemed to satisfy her.  They walked her back to Claire who would take her home.  The shopkeeper smiled warmly at Yura.  “Call me if you ever want to talk about your mother.”

 

“Thank you,” he whispered.

 

They rode back to the hotel in silence, the small form holding him tightly from behind on the bike.  Otabek could feel the tension in him and wanted to do something to relax it.  As they parked the bike, he guided the younger man back inside.

 

Reporters were lurking in the lobby and Yura pulled his expression in order.  He wasn’t in the mood for this, less so than normal.  Otabek shielded him and moved him to the elevator.  In their room, Yura disappeared to shower.

 

Later that night, in the darkness of the room he murmured, “Now you know...what she’s like.  That...was a good day.  Some days she checks out and you can’t reach her at all, like she’s lost somewhere in her head.”

 

“I’m not going to leave you,” Otabek stressed.

 

He felt those shoulders shrug against him.  “That...scares me, too.  I’d rather...you have a life.”

 

“You are my life, Yura.  And you...I know you.  You will continue to fight.  You said there are treatments but after a while, she stops.  Just stops.  That’s not you.”

 

“Perhaps...I just want you to be aware.  I want you to know what you could be getting into.”

 

“ [ Could ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdxhdmgMBL4) ...there are so many possibilities.  I could wreck my bike tomorrow and end up in a chair.”  He heard the gasp escape the other man.  “Would you leave me?”

 

“No,” he answered quietly.

 

“Then don’t...push me away.  Let me fight with you.”

 

Yura was silent for a period of time.  Otabek thought he might have fallen asleep.  Then he murmured, “It’s not like it’s happened yet.  Maybe...it won’t.”

 

“Maybe it won’t,” he echoed quietly, leaning in to brush a kiss against that cheek, moving back to the ear and down his neck.  He wouldn’t do much more.  Not until the man in his arms was comfortable in his own skin.  Not until he let go of the boy.  But until then, he would hold him...and continue to love him.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Yura watched Leo leave the ice.  He was up next.  The purples of his costume shimmered like frosting.  When he pulled it out to show Victor and Yuuri, he watched the old man whine that he loved it.   _ Of course he did _ .  Purples and pinks were his favorite colors.  But this was Yuri’s.  He chose this costume, the cut allowing for a couple of inches of growth should that occur through the season.  _  I hope not. _

 

Skating a circle around the rink, he shook out his limbs, pounding the lactic acid still in his quads from warm up, the signature Russian move.  He settled into the classic ballet pose and waited for the opening tones of the  [ Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBuZDwBrsH8) .   He had worked with so many to decide on his approach to this classic.  Yuuri had early on demonstrated his interpretation of the ballet and the youth had to admit he had been captivated by the Japanese man’s dance.  Yuuri would have made a beautiful danseur.  Minako worked with him in Japan, helping him to develop the fine movements, the control, the story.  Then Lilia added the finish, polishing the program until it shone.  Yakov’s demanding guidance helped him perfect the technical aspects until it was a radiant performance.

 

The music drew him into the persona as he showcased his skill working in the required elements.  It became apparent even though he had gained inches, he could still show the delicacy and power of the Russian fairy in his movements.

 

As the heavy bass began the slow strum of the classical childhood favorite, Yuri’s motions mirrored the dark music with quick motions.  Striking poses with the timing, he stood enpointe in his toe picks, stepping close together in small but dramatic movements.  The toybox music elicited his first layback spin, bending further than even Mila could get.  He came out of the deliberately slow spin, executing a series of three turns into a back lunge.  His arms positioned over his head, which ducked down, blonde hair falling around his face and jawline.

 

It was when the deep bass line kicked in that Yuri rose, pulling into his step sequence.  If last year’s footwork was a stunning series of extended spirals this year was a dazzling display of powerpulls, leading to quick-cutting brackets.  He faltered only once, having a toe pick catch, but an improvised falling leaf jump fooled the audience...not the judges.  He knew it would be downgraded to a level three.

 

_ All my jumps are in the second half.  I’ll easily make up for it. _

 

Finishing the serpentine pattern he pulled into a low, grab leg sit spin, switching to tuck and hide  his face behind his hand.  He stepped out, added speed and went into a slow rise back spin, with a wide pull out.

 

_ Half way. Now to earn all the points. _

 

Yuri wound into a traveling three turn series, building speed and momentum for his first combination jump.  Pulling up he felt it as soon as his toe pick left the ice.   _ SHIT! _  His body was shifted forward, landing he slipped out of his edge and slammed into the ice.  Regaining his feet he tossed out the quad toe loop that would have gone next.

 

“Oh, that’s a bad fall, Tara.”

 

“Yes, Johnny and as you know, once an element is missed it cannot be replaced.  Serious loss of points.”

 

_ Yeah, bite me hag, you and your under-rotated triples. _

 

Yuri refocused, pulling off a perfectly execute quad lutz, followed by this choreography sequence, and ending in a quad loop with both arms raised above his head to maximize the points.  The last jump was a simple triple axel.  However, he over rotated and put his hand down, stopping himself from falling.  As the music slowed he moved into his final spin, a traditional lay back, leg high and back bent as far as he could.  As the world spun upside down he felt a tear beginning to form, and knew they were obvious as he pulled out into his final position.

 

_ Fuck.  Fuck!  I want Yuuri... _

 

As the applause filled the arena, he forced his smile on his lips.  He skated the circle, scooping up a cat plushie on his way out at the Kiss and Cry.  He could hear his coach’s critique.  He also heard Lilia telling him he was beautiful.  Both felt distant.  Otabek was preparing to skate but he knew the Kazakh skater had watched him, had felt his piercing gaze.

 

At the end of the first day, Otabek was first but Yura’s scores were close and the kitten knew what the other man was bringing the next skate.  He smiled in anticipation.  Is this how Victor and Yuuri felt when they skated against one another?  The desire to win fighting against the desire to see the other succeed?

 

* * *

  
  
  


Otabek skated into position as he prepared for his free skate.  The opening notes of  [ Tchaikovsky's Piano Concerto No.1 in B Minor Remix ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FwA25yJOQFY) set him to move.  He raced around the arena picking up speed to set off his first jump, a quad salchow.  Most of his jumps were backloaded, but this one he put to the beginning.  He had fiery movements of the concerto pushing him forward as he skated through the initial choreography.  Two slower movements allowed him to catch his breath while he added in the graceful movements Yuuri and Victor had helped him work through over the summer.   _ I’ll never hold the grace of Yura but I can be beautiful in my own way. _

 

The step sequence had been hard to master.  It was a Yuuri Katsuki special and he wanted to do the man proud.  As the music sped up, he worked the field of ice, driving himself into deep edges, picking up speed and pushing himself both back and forth.  When the serpentine ended he kept working the feet, trading directions with a series of open mohawks, forcing himself to move faster, quicker than he had ever believed himself capable of.   _ Only Katsuki would create a footwork sequence more demanding than jumps. _  He began to breathe heavily when the music slowed, deepen and that’s when he pulled what Victor had brought to him.  The older Russian had helped him work on his emotion.  Well, both of them, really.  Yuuri could capture music with his movements and Victor helped the Kazakhstani see how to emote, how to convey that in his own program.  He pulled himself into a low six diving into a camel spin, tucking his arms behind his back and pulling his chest out, without freeing his arms he leapt into a back camel, hearing people cheer at the rarely seen feat.  Coming from the spin he pulled into a Quad Loop, Quad Loop combination, landing perfectly.  The triple axel proved no problem.  The final push had him moving into a quad jump and a finishing spin sequence that Yuuri had helped him to work out.  As he finished, he felt a moment of triumph.  Then he caught the calculating green eyes.   _ Oh, I...won.   _

 

The numbers verified it shortly after.  It had been a close race the entire time.  Yura didn’t say much as they laid out the carpet.  Otabek didn’t know what to say.  They walked out and accepted their medals.  They took their victory lap.  There were a few moments before they had to deal with the press.   _ Talk to me, Yura _ .

 

Alone in the dressing room, Otabek looked up to meet green eyes over him.  He didn’t expect the next move.  The younger man pushed into his space settling on his lap, pressing his lips onto Beka’s.  It was an aggressive move...made by an aggressive man.  It shouldn’t have surprised him but the gasp that ripped from him revealed he hadn’t been expecting it 

 

“I’m glad you didn’t hold back,” the younger man stated.  “Don’t expect to win a second time.”

 

And with that sass, he was gone.  Otabek fell back against the locker dazed.  _  I’ll never figure him out!  But that’s what made it interesting. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So many thanks to BluSkates and Magrathea for the love you've given this document. And thanks for all of the help in my skate programs, Blu. I know you've written or contributed to a lot of them and made them beautiful. I appreciate your magic more than you know.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Skate Canada! Yuuri travels to meet up with Phichit and Ciao Ciao during his first competition of the Grand Prix series.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you love the lovely bits and pieces I give you in this one! Thanks so much to Magrathea and Bluskates for the edits!

* * *

 

**Skate Canada - October 27-29 - Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada**

 

Yuuri ran up to greet Phichit as he arrived at the hotel, Cocoa trotting closely to his side.  Yuuri had been a little edgy after getting off the plane and the dog could feel the tension in her human the entire car ride.  “I got us a room together,” Phichit declared.

 

“So no significant other for you either?”

 

Phichit bent over to give Cocoa affection and the poodle gave him an appreciative lick.  The dog could sense Yuuri’s anxiety settling with the other man.  Phichit took Yuuri’s arm walking him past the registration and not even bothering to cover the pout in his voice.  “He’s recovering from Moscow and working out a problem that he noticed in his program.”

 

“He still finished with a solid bronze,” Yuuri pointed out.

 

“And against little Yuri and Otabek, that’s good.”  Phichit smiled, “All of the scores were solid.  But you know him, if there five seconds that need to be improved, he’ll give it two weeks worth of work.”

 

Phichit dragged him down the hall to their room.  The door across the hall was open and he spotted Ciao Ciao on the bed talking on his phone.  The coach waved at him.  It had been interesting working with both coaches, sometimes sorting out which advice to follow proved challenging.  Still, he was pleased with the result and couldn’t wait to unveil his skate developed from his son’s performance.

 

Cocoa settled herself on the bed, knowing that her Yuuri was now safe and secure, she gave herself the afternoon off.  As Yuuri unpacked his suitcases, Phichit chatted about Grandmaman and Chris arguing over their wedding plans.  Yuuri sat on the mattress to study his friend, smiling warmly.  “So this summer…”

 

Phichit nodded.  “Chris’ grandmother is worried her health won’t hold.  So yes, this summer.”

 

Yuuri closed his eyes, thinking of his own family’s goal for the summer.  “It’s a dream to hope for Nina’s remission by then.”

 

“It would be the best of wedding presents should it occur.”  Phichit took one of Yuuri’s hands, watching at the warm brown eyes opened to him.

 

Yuuri smiled over at his best friend, warmed by his daughter’s health being so important to the younger man.  “I want that so much for her.  We’ve taken all of the preventatives we could.  The flu shot was a must but we each had to isolate ourselves from her while we worked through the symptoms.  I hate being away from her.”

 

Phichit krinkled his nose, “Which is worse?  Being away from the kids or Victor?”

 

Yuuri snorted.  “You ask that as if you are speaking of different people.  Victor is as much kid as the rest of them at times.”  After a moment, he released his sigh before adding, “Vitya...but I agree he needs to be home with the kids.  When I retire, I’ll stay home as much as possible while he travels.  And that’s fine.  For now, though...we are trying to be as there for them as possible.”

 

“You have an amazing support system.  Most parents would be envious.”

 

“We need it.  Especially the closer we come to the Olympics and Worlds.  For the Final itself we hope to bring the kids with us.”  Yuuri’s eyes widened thinking of the difficulty of traveling with the entire beloved circus.  “Even then, I’ll need to have someone to keep the kids in order.”

 

Phichit chuckled at his friend’s overwhelmed face, “You know Andrei could handle Nina if needed.”

 

Yuuri shrugged.  “He’s had to be the man all of his life.  I just...I want him to be able to be a kid.  For a little while longer.”

 

“He loves her, though, and I don’t pick up any regrets.  He’s oddly laid back.”

 

Yuuri smiled thinking of his son.  “He is...in a lot of ways.  But he hides his insecurities.  We have to work to get them to the surface and to help him address and deal with them.  And I love both of my children more than I ever thought possible.”

 

Phichit rolled his eyes at that statement.  “You have such a capacity for love.  You adopted me the moment I came into your life and I’m two seconds younger than you.  You gather family to you, blood or otherwise.  I’m not surprised.”

 

Yuuri blushed under his friend’s praise.  He sat on the bed, scratching at Cocoa’s ear, then pulling his knees to his chest, he sighed.  “I’m thinking about retiring sooner rather than later.”

 

“Oh?  I thought you were going to push for one more Olympics after this.  No Beijing?”

 

Yuuri shrugged.  “Please, we’ll be there, as Yura’s coaches.  I think my priorities are shifting.  I still love creating programs and skating...but being away from my family, traveling without them...it drains me.  I think...I’d be happy sitting at home and giving lessons.  I want to watch my daughter rise up.  I want to be there for every concert my son performs in.”

 

“That definitely sounds like a parent to me.  So how much longer are you thinking?”

 

“Maybe a couple more years at most after this.  I’ve talked to Victor about it.  He wants me to be certain.  No regrets and all that.  How can I have regrets if I’m going for what makes me happier?  And any more, that’s family.  They bring me more smiles than any medal, any competition, any program.”

 

“We’ll see how you feel when I stand on that Olympic podium with a gold medal around my neck,” Phichit teased.

 

“Careful, I’ll tell Yura what you said!”  Yuuri swatted at him and they both rolled over laughing.

 

* * *

 

Yuuri turned his phone to airplane mode as he prepared for his short program.  This particular skate was very important to him because of its connection to his son, but more than that.  This song, the performance, all described how his son viewed the loving and supportive marriage of his fathers.

 

As Yuuri moved onto the ice, he waved to the cheering fans taking in a lap before settling into open position.  He closed his eyes and focused into the mental space for this competition.  Closing out the world, he pictured his family - Victor with his heart shaped smile, Nina’s trusting blue eyes, and Andrei who waited and listened, choosing when he would make his move with care...and then not far from his thoughts, Yura...they always struggled to categorize their relationship with the blond kitten...parent/brother/friend...somewhere in the middle of all that at the intersection lay their relationship with the green-eyed monster.  He was challenging at times, but Yuuri knew that once you got past the bristles, Yura just needed love.

 

The announcer informed the audience of Yuuri’s skate and music, the father in him smiling at the mention of his son’s name as the artist of the composition.  Lidiya made sure the music was properly labeled so that her student would get the credit he deserved and needed to move forward in his career.   _Andrei.  Thank you for this, my son._

 

Yuuri dropped down to his knee closing his arms up above his head and waited, the soft piano began its sequence as the [ Spring Waltz ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vrcP0VWV320) unfolded.  Yuuri blossomed like a flower awakening from its winter sleep.  He spun beautifully as the imagined wind caught him and turned him on the ice. _This is for you, Victor.  I was so lost, trapped in my own winter until you came to pour love on me like sunshine._  The stretch of the Ina Bauer caught the arch of his back beautiful as he shifted into the flow of the music.   _Then you spread that love out and we made a family._  He danced into the wind, catching the swirl of it with his spin.   _I’ve never truly known happiness until you, when I first saw you skate, when we danced into one another space, when you unfurled me and loved me back to life.  You tell me I’m your L words but in truth, you are mine...you always have been.  And I want our waltz to go on forever._

 

The audience response was overpowering.  Yuuri scooped up the first plushie and his eyes went wide at the note attached, _Donation made to_ [ _Children’s AIDS Fund International_ ](http://childrensaidsfund.org/) _in Nina Katsuki-Nikiforova’s honor_.  He wiped the tear that jumped to the forefront and waved and threw kisses to the audience.  As he entered the kiss and cry, he excitedly showed the note to Ciao Ciao.

 

“I can’t believe someone did this,” Yuuri blubbered.

 

Ciao Ciao laughed in response.  “Well, I think Phichit’s social networks can be thanked for that.  He put it out that your group of friends were dedicating their skates this season to AIDS research for children.  I think there are several organizations he linked.  In the U.S., they are donating to St. Judes among others.”

 

“Nothing could make me feel happier than this moment...to know the world is celebrating my daughter’s bravery.”

 

And if a few reporters caught those soundbites and shared them, all the better for the research organizations.

 

* * *

 

In the privacy of the hotel room, Yuuri, showered and finally refocused on the noise of life, took his phone off airplane mode.  He received a number of video messages.  His family in Hasetsu shouted out congratulations.  His mother told him how proud of him she was.  His father told him his skating was beautiful like the flowers in his garden.  The triplets all promised to practice his skate program and send video of the result.  Yuuko and Takeshi told him how much it had grown since they saw it last.  Minako responded that she couldn’t wait to see it live at the NHK.  Yuuri smiled at the connection to family but the one he really needed was in Russia.

 

He curled up for the more precious messages.  The first, from his Nina.  “Chichi!  You were so pretty!  When I grow up, I want to be pretty when I dance on ice!”  Yuuri touched the cherubic  little face surrounded with blond curls.  “You will,” he murmured.  “But so much more so, baby.”

 

The next was from Andrei.  “I can’t believe they said my name!  That’s so cool!  You...I know I watched you put this program together...but seeing it...all together...I’m always amazed in how you create music in your own way.  Can’t wait for your free, Chichi.  Love you!”  Yuuri hugged himself as he felt his son’s words settle over him.  “I’m glad you were recognized, too, Andrei.”

 

He spotted the text from Yura and clicked into it.

 

**Yura/ I’m still going to kick your ass.**

 

**Yuuri/ I won’t make it easy.**

 

**Yura/ If you did, I’d stomp you into the ground.**

 

Yuuri chuckled to himself.  He heard the love behind the words.   _Still rough around the edges._

 

Victor...he simply said, “Call me...when you get a moment alone.”

 

Checking the clock, he knew Victor would be just getting up.  He sent the call through.  A sleep filled voice answered, “Good morning.”

 

Yuuri laughed warmly, he needed to hear that voice.  “Good evening,” he responded, his voice soft.  “I miss you.”

 

“Not as much as I miss you,” Victor argued and Yuuri could hear him shifting around in bed.  “What are you wearing?”

 

Yuuri chuckled.  “Is it one of those kind of calls?”

 

Victor hesitated before he answered, “It could be...now answer the question.”

 

Yuuri stretched himself out on the mattress, looking over his form.  “I’m wearing one of your t-shirts I stole from the laundry because it still smells like you.”

 

“Mmmm, I guess I’m at the advantage surrounded by the scent of you.  Now I have to decide what I want you to wear for when I go to China,” he determined.

 

“Is that how this works?” Yuuri teased.

 

“It appears so...you set the rules, I’m just going with it,” he teased.  “Oh, I know!  I’ll have you wear a pair of those black panties!”

 

“You are not carrying my panties to China!  Someone will find it and there will be a scandal that you’re having an affair with a woman!”

 

Yuuri could hear the whine building up in his husband’s throat.  “But Yuuriiii…”

 

Yuuri stood ground, knowing that his firm voice not only worked on reigning in his husband’s antics, but also turned the man on.  “Nope!  You have to figure something else out.”

 

“How about the one that comes second gets to decide?”  Victor’s voice had taken on a more childish deal-maker quality.

 

Yuuri sighed into the phone, “You really are a dirty old man!”

 

Victor’s laugh rang out across the ocean.  “Only when it comes to you, _lyubov moya_.”  He then waited half a second before he added, “You can’t pass up the competition.”

 

Yuuri huffed.  “Fine!  If you make me come first, you can take my panties with you.”

 

Victor laughed happily on the other end.  “The ones you come in?”

 

Yuuri scrunched his face, “That’s just dirty!  No, they’ll come off before you make me come!”

 

“So many rules, Yuuri,” Phichit declared as he walked into the room causing Yuuri’s cheeks to turn deep crimson.  “And this was the best eavesdropped conversation I’ve listened to in awhile.”

 

“Oh, god!”  Yuuri covered his face.

 

“Hi, Phichit!” Victor, who knew no shame, greeted airily.  “Yuuri is so mean to me!”

 

“I don’t know what to tell you, Victor.  He finished first in his short so he gets to be bitch!Yuuri if he wants to.”

 

“I’m going to have those panties!” Victor declared with determination.

 

Yuuri huffed and pointed out, “I’ve got stamina.”

 

And as they disconnected, Phichit lifted his water bottle in toast.  “Let the games begin.”

 

* * *

 

Phichit moved into position for his free skate.  Tears for Fears would rock this arena.  He’d won against Yuuri before and he wasn’t intimidated now.  He planned to rule this world.  Taking his position, he waited for the song to begin.  [ Everybody Wants to Rule the World ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTlp91iSj5g) rang through with its opening notes.  He remembered watching the movie _Real Genius_ with Yuuri, many college nights up late skating with his best friend, parties and chasing moments, realizing what was important to him just before it slipped through his hands and letting himself fall in love with his whole heart.  He grinned as the audience sang along with the lyrics, he could hear their response as he launched into the triple toe, triple loop combination.  No matter where the score landed, he knew this day he was winning...because he had the best of friends and he had the best of loves.  Yuuri would fight him on that but Phichit knew his own heart.  He moved into his closing spin with a wide grin.  I love my life!

 

Yuuri met him in the Kiss and Cry section and they waited together for the results, Ciao Ciao on his other side.   _Okay, silver...I can accept that.  I mean, my best friend will be wearing gold._ And he had to admit, Yuuri was beautiful.  As always.  He hugged him close. _Next time, Yuuri.  The next one is mine!_

 

* * *

 

**St. Petersburg - October 30**

 

An exhausted Yuuri lay napping on the sofa, Nina crawling all over him as he slept through it.  The fact that Yura, Victor, and even Andrei filmed it and posted it to social networks would not be lost on him later.  #lifewithYuuri

 

Later, he might have leaned heavily on his hand at the kitchen table while Victor tried to get him to eat, eventually succumbing to exhaustion.  The fact that as soon as he lifted his head off the table with half of his sandwich stuck to his face made it to social networks would be paid for later didn’t stop them.  #lifewithYuuri

 

Victor scooped the sleepy Yuuri off the sofa and carried the man curled into his neck back to his bedroom bridal style, a picture caught by his boys and posted to social networks.  #lifewithVictuuri

 

Victor settled his husband into bed, gently undressing him before snuggling him into his side.  Yuuri turned to brush sleepy kisses into his neck but he was asleep soon after.  Jetlagged Yuuri was dead to the world in moments.

 

* * *

 

**October 31 - Otabek’s birthday**

 

Yura retreated to his room after dinner.  Both Andrei and Nina were enjoying a movie with Yuuri and Victor, now that Yuuri was coherent again.  The fiery blond had other things on his mind, however, namely...Beka and his birthday.  Potya jumped on his bed expectantly and Yura reached down and stroked her fluffy fur.  “Okay, you can join me when I call Beka.  I’m sure you miss him, too.”

 

He sent the call through and smiled when he looked into the sleep disheveled Beka.  “Did I wake you?”

 

“No, not really.  I was reading and I think I dozed off.  Family celebrations went on forever.  Elizabet went with me earlier to practice and to show me what she’s learned.”

 

“How far away is your sister from breaking into the Juniors?”

 

On the screen Otabek raked a hand through his cropped hair, more to massage his scalp, but the shift in the shirt revealed his chiseled abs.  “She’s only nine.  But I think she’ll make the move as soon as she turns thirteen.”

 

Yuri licked his lips, trying to cover his obvious stare.  “We’ll make sure to cheer her on.  Did you take video?”

 

“Of course!  I’ll send it to you after we disconnect.”

 

“I hope it was a good birthday.”

 

“The only thing that would have made it better would be to have you here.  Mother asked for you.  She’s really taken to you.”

 

Yuri pulled back a little, stammering, “Even though I slipped and said _fuck_ in front of her?”

 

Otabek laughed.  “She clucked about it but she was amused by your embarrassment.”

 

The green eyes blinked.  “Your family never slips!”  A quick comparison of the orderly Altin home and his own background seemed perfect opposites.  He had worried that Otabek’s family would never be able to accept him, all angles and corners that he was.

 

Otabek shrugged.  “Course language goes with tempestuous souls.  It...suits you.”

 

“And you are the calm to my storm,” Yura murmured, his fingers curling into Potya’s fur.

 

“Years of forced discipline.”

 

“Do they...know yet?”

 

“That we are more than friends?”  Yuri could see Otabek’s eyes drop from the screen for a moment.  “They haven’t...said anything.  But they wouldn’t.  Until we come out and tell them, they will let us be quiet.  Maybe they prefer it.”

 

“How do you...think they’ll react?”

 

“I don’t know...but they haven’t done anything to discourage us.  So I think...okay?  My father I think worries about my safety if I come out.”

 

Yura hugged himself, remembering how Beka picked him up when he fell apart, how he held Yura together.  He was thankful for the time spent with Otabek and his family.  He needed that time.  Then to rejoin his family with Otabek in tow, it felt right.  But while in Kazakhstan, he had his own room and they respected that boundary.  Back with his own family, that line blurred.  Even at the Rostelecom, they shared a room, shared a bed even, but Yura didn’t feel ready.  And Beka said it was fine.  He’d wait as long as he needed.

 

He shook himself out of his thoughts.  “I’m sorry.  I think I was spoiled after spending four months with you.”

 

Otabek smiled from the screen, “We had to separate to focus on our programs.”

 

Yuri huffed, “I know.  I just...Victor and Yuuri do it together.”

 

“Victor and Yuuri have skated longer and are less dependent on their coaches.”

 

Yura sighed.  He knew he wasn’t ready, but he still stubbornly held onto his want.  “When I’m in Japan…”

 

“I’ll follow as soon as you’re ready.” Otabek’s tone wasn’t rushed, but firm.

 

“Are you saying you’re ready now?”

 

Otabek laughed.  “I’m saying I’ll be ready before you.  I do have three years on you.”

 

“Pffft,” Yura responded.  Still, the idea of being with Otabek, of living with Otabek...that settled a soft smile on Yura’s features.

 

Beka gazed at him with piercing eyes.  “One day,” he murmured.  “Probably sooner rather than later.”

 

“Soon…” Yura whispered in response hugging his knees.  He knew what soon meant.  It meant when Otabek finished college.  It meant that Yura would likely be in Japan for two years.  But he also knew Otabek would wait...and so would he.  At least...to live with one another.  “Love you.”

 

“I love you, too, my soldier.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Victor prepares to leave for China, he suddenly can't find Yuuri.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! For those who aren't reading my other stories, you probably thought I'd long forgotten this story but this is what happened. I...didn't like the feel of it and needed to back off of it. When I picked it back up, it started with what I thought would be a one-shot but then I realized it was the opening scene of this chapter. And I knew...I didn't want to lose the story for the programs, the relationships for the technicality. This has always been about the struggles of recovery from rape, putting a family together, and embracing friendships. I could not lose that. So...I took a break. I hope you enjoy this reopening...I know I'm much happier with it.
> 
> Thanks so much to my loyal friends, beta readers, and editors BluSkates and Magrathea. You both are the best!

* * *

 

**November 2017**

 

Victor was set to leave the next day for the competition in China and had spent the previous evening packing and talking with his husband.  One more day of practice and it was going well, with Yakov calling him in for the occasional break to complain about a part he wanted changed.  The old man may not have agreed with his sequences for the short program choice, but Victor found he didn’t really care. Retirement was just around the corner, and this last year was dedicated to his family.  Both shows, not just his free skate, were developed to speak about his loves. Besides, he loved surprising the audience, and nothing would surprise them more than a short program dedicated more to artistic interpretation than earning as many points as possible.  He stood at the boards drinking water when he looked up to fierce green eyes and a brow knitted with worry. “What’s wrong, Yura?”

 

Yura’s eyes revealed so much of his emotion these days and with the two men to call him family, he was fiercely protective of them.  “I was supposed to work with Katsudon this morning in the studio but...he’s not here yet.” 

 

Victor’s brow knitted quickly, mirroring the younger man’s worry.  “He was supposed to arrive after dropping off the kids at school. Did you call him?”

 

“Yeah.  And texted.  No answer to either,” the blonde stated, worry layered over his voice.  “I also called the schools. Andrei and Nina both made it on time.”

 

Victor reached for his guards as he moved off the ice and onto the rubber mat.  Victor knew the timeline. Yuuri should have arrived an hour ago at latest. It took him less than five minutes to locate Yakov at one of the other rinks.  “Yuuri isn’t answering his phone and he hasn’t made it here.”

 

The old coach, who was very aware of Yuuri’s struggles but also his work ethic, grunted with his nod.  “Go. Find him. Let us know he’s okay.”

 

“Thanks.”  Victor hurried to switch out his skates for his shoes and didn’t bother changing.  Throwing his overcoat over his practice clothes, he found his keys in his pocket. Climbing into the car, he checked with the schools once more to make sure his kids had arrived.  He then headed to the only place he could think of. Home.

 

The house was quiet, rooms shadowed on the overcast day.  He moved first into their bedroom and found it in order, just as Yuuri would have left it and no evidence that the younger man returned.  Going from room to room, he located the dogs curled up asleep on their cushions. He let them out into the back yard while he continued to go through the rest of the house.  Yuuri’s car wasn’t there but he hoped to find something to tell him where to look.

 

Pulling the dogs in, he guided Cocoa out to the car and strapped her in before climbing in.  He attempted to call once more. “Where are you?” he asked, his voice tight with worry as the call went to voicemail.

 

Victor began making a mental list of places where Yuuri haunted.   _ Somewhere _ ...he pursed his lips.  Turning the steering, he headed to the place that led them to their children.  The traffic fought him but he eventually turned into the parking spaces of the gym.  Yuuri still came here, often with Yura but sometimes with Andrei as well. He worked with kids and enjoyed the interaction with the Lev, Boris, and some of the other members.  Victor could still see Yuuri fighting his demons and sometimes that meant the boxing ring. Still, he saw no sign of Yuuri’s car. He went inside just in case he just missed him.

 

“Victor!” Lev greeted with an embrace and pat on the back.  “It’s been awhile.”

 

“Hello, Lev,” Victor responded, his smile shaken.  “I’m sorry...this isn’t a social call. I can’t find Yuuri.”

 

The club owner and director furrowed his brow in concern.  “I haven’t seen the little Katsudon in over a week. He’s been busy with his programs, he said.  But we’ve been keeping up with what he taught, teaching the kids how to use his footwork in the ring, in fact.”

 

Victor sighed, his lips thinning.  “I had to start somewhere. It’s not like him to not show up at the rink.  Sometimes late, but always dependable.”

 

“If he shows, I’ll give you a call.  I’ll put out feelers to see if the others have seen him.  I know the butcher Yegor sometimes sees him around town. And of course, he has lunch with Boris a couple of times a month.”

 

“Please call me if you find him,” Victor responded, his blue eyes imploring.  Turning on his heel, he thought about other haunts. He drove by their favorite coffee shop, but the girl at the counter hadn’t seen Yuuri.  The corner grocer and the small cafe both were sympathetic but no help.

 

As Victor checked off the places in their neighborhood where Yuuri might have stopped, he suddenly realized he was looking in all the wrong places and could have kicked himself.  “If Yuuri’s stressed, he’d retreat. I should be looking for places where he likes to be alone.” He made a quick call to Dr. Abramovich to see if the old psychiatrist had heard from Yuuri knowing he had rooms for meditation.  He wasn’t signed in as a user of the modern and peaceful mental health facility.

 

Turning to the park, he drove around for a sign of their car and Cocoa grew restless so he gave her a potty stop.  She sniffed around and shifted afterwards. “Yeah, I don’t see any sign of Yuuri, either, girl. Let’s keep looking.”  She readily loaded back up and they continued on their drive.

 

Victor drove over to one of their favorite walking trails, cruised by the beach, and then something caught his eye.  The leaf green of Yuuri’s hybrid peeked through the trees. It was a more deserted part of the beach, not an area they went to much at all.

 

Pulling up beside the car, he watched Cocoa come alive.  Opening the door, he commanded, “Find Yuuri.” With a bark, she was off, sniffing around the car then following the trail.

 

It was in the grass they found him, arms around his knees rocking back and forth, shut down.  Victor considered the location and it was one of the routes Yuuri took from the elementary to the rink when he needed to settle his thoughts.  Something about seeing the ocean and smelling the salty air. Victor took a seat next to him. Cocoa found a place on the other side. They waited.

 

Finally, Yuuri looked up and handed over his phone.  Unlocking it, Victor found it opened up to a news site.  The prison holding the three men involved in Yuuri’s rape, in Victor’s kidnapping, had rioted.  Several were killed, both prisoners and guards. The reporters were still waiting for further information.

 

“Do you think they escaped?” Victor asked slowly, his arm slipping around Yuuri’s waist to brace him.

 

Yuuri dropped his hand into Cocoa’s fur not making eye contact.  “I...was wondering if they were killed. Then I’d never have to worry.”

 

“I can call Nikolai,” Victor suggested quietly.

 

Yuuri shrugged.  “I just...I thought it was all over.  Then this happened and now...I worry about you, the children...what if I’m a liability to my family?”

 

“Oh, Yuuri…” Victor murmured, pulling the younger man into his arms.  “You are never a liability. We wouldn’t be a family without you.”

 

Yuuri pulled away, pushing Victor back at arms length and turning away.  “Maybe...but you could still be better off without me.”

 

Victor’s face fell and he fought against the despair and anger within him.  “You weren’t thinking to...after all we’ve fought for…”

 

Yuuri turned and leveled a gaze at him, brown eyes hard and a bit angry.  “No...you know me better than that. I wouldn’t kill myself. I’m just...I heard them talking about it on the radio...and I had to run, hide, escape.  And the idea of dragging all of you along...I-I’m sorry. I couldn’t. But...I’m scared. And I’m so tired of being scared. Will this ever be over?”

 

Victor frowned as he considered their lives together.  It felt like there was always something churning in the background, even on the good days.  Experiences had left their scars...and the kids brought scars of their own from their former lives...and there were always the scars to come to worry about.  “We may be battered but...we are a family and we take care of one another. And if one person is going through hell, we all go with them. Can you imagine Nina without your calm, reassuring hands holding hers?  And Andrei. He looks up to you when his strength falters. Yura is more himself with you than anyone. And me...I’d be lost without you. We’ve battled through hard times, and there will be more to come I’m certain.  So if it isn’t over for some godforsaken reason, then we’ll go through it together. As a family. No one walks this road alone.”

 

Yuuri huffed before turning towards him to face him.  Crawling over on his knees, he settled into Victor’s lap burying his head into his husband’s neck.  “I’ll be glad when we are in Japan. I know...after the Olympics...but still...all of my bad memories seem tied to Russia.”

 

Victor leaned in and kissed him, brushing  his fingers through the younger man’s hair.  “We’ve made good ones as well. We have our kids, our skate family...and one day, yes we’ll go to Japan.  I know you’re homesick on top of all of this.”

 

“It feels like...it’s all on hold.”

 

“You said yourself that I should finish well.  You encouraged me to stay one more year...for the Olympics.”  Victor worried that Yuuri was now regretting his decision, but they were too close now to pull back.

 

Yuuri sighed and nodded, buried back into Victor’s neck and not looking at him.  “I know...and...well, you should. I just...I feel so unsettled.”

 

“With mentions of the past, of the bad things, I’m not surprised.  But you are stronger than all of that. You’ve proved it time and time again.”

 

Yuuri sighed but allowed himself to be pulled to his feet.  As they walked to their cars, Victor guided him to the door of his SUV.  “But the car…”

 

“Can be picked up later by the boys...come on.  Sue me for not wanting to let you out of my sight.”  He leaned in as he settled the seatbelt around Yuuri’s waist.  “I just worry. I love you, my Yuuri.”

 

* * *

  
  


Hours later, Yuuri lay resting while Victor spoke with the boys, Otabek agreeing to run Yura over to pick up the car.  Andrei sat close to Nina and her big blue eyes looked up to Victor worried. “Is the bad man coming to hurt Chichi again?”

 

Victor paused, dropping to his knees to crush her to his chest just as mist started to form in her eyes.   _ What did she know? _  His expression must have given it away because Andrei shrugged shaking his head.  “The bad men are still in jail, Ninochka,” Victor reassured her.

 

“Chichi was scared.  The radio said the jail broke,” she insisted.

 

He smoothed out her hair choosing his words carefully.  “We have a friend that works for the jail. He called to make sure after I got Chichi home.  The bad men did not get out and the jail is being fixed.”

 

She nodded, struggling and pushing back from his embrace.  “Good. I don’t like Chichi being scared.”

 

“I don’t either, sweetheart,” Victor agreed.  He chuckled at the determination in her voice.  The little girl was able to focus her emotions for the first time.  Just like her Chichi she was fierce in the defense of her family.

 

He came into their room, a small lamp spilling warm light around the side of the bed.  Yuuri laid curled up on his side but Victor could tell he wasn’t sleeping. Small thumb flicks and the illumination of the screen on his glasses told Victor he was watching the news.  “Nikolai gave us more than those news sources would reveal,” he assured Yuuri as he stretched out behind him and gathered him in his arms.

 

“Maybe...and Phichit is watching, too.  I just...maybe I need a distraction.”

 

Victor frowned, searching for something to take Yuuri’s mind off of the matter.  “A distraction, huh? Well, the boys are busy and Nina is being watched by Andrei.  Why don’t we settle a bet we have hanging in the air?”

 

“You are not taking my panties with you to China,” Yuuri stated with determination.

 

Victor laughed as he rolled Yuuri onto his back.  “We shall see about that...what...panties are you wearing right now?”

 

“How did you…”  Yuuri’s eyes stared at him wide with surprise then realized Victor was baiting him.  “Ugh! You’re horrible!”

 

“And you, my love, have something surprising beneath your leggings,” Victor confirmed.

 

Yuuri pouted.  “They’re just basic...you didn’t even let me get ready.”

 

Victor laughed throatily.  “Oh, my sweet Yuuri, nothing with you is basic.  You make the plainest of outfits shine.” His fingers slid around the waistband of Yuuri’s leggings before slowly lowering them down, his eyes chasing the reveal hungrily.  The  [ panty ](https://image2.stileo.es/images/17380681/I520x490-panty-hipster-semidescaderado-en-encaje-leonisa-el-beige-encaje.jpg) may have been basic black, but the cheeky cut hip huggers with sheer stripes were tantalizing on Yuuri’s well formed ass.  Victor smiled appreciatively even as Yuuri hid shyly behind his hands. That only pulled Victor in more. It had been a while since Yuuri’s shy side came out in bed and Victor found the demure blush alluring.

 

“You’re not going to make this easy on me, are you?” the silverette teased.

 

“I won’t,” Yuuri answered, his voice muffled by his hands.  Victor chuckled even as he tugged at them. Yuuri turned away but it revealed a tantalizing length of Yuuri’s neck, something Victor was quick to take advantage of, running kisses down the length gaining a soft moan from the man beneath him.

 

Victor reached down for Yuuri’s shirt and, tugging the long sleeved tee free of him, Victor discovered another surprise waiting for him.  The cropped  [ top ](https://bestfitbybrazil.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/mesh-top-black-front.jpg) could also be seen as basic but on Yuuri, the way the lycra clung to his body, Victor couldn’t use the word  _ basic  _ to describe the picture beneath him.

 

“My beautiful Yuuri,” he murmured in a low voice that caused a shiver to run up the smaller body beneath him.  “And this is you not planning...I could look upon you every day like this.”

 

Blush heated the skin of the younger man as he smiled shyly, his body twisting at the waist, his hands resting palms up next to his face, fingers toying with the longer strands of his hair.  Yuuri chewed on his lower lip and Victor could still see that shyness but Yuuri was warming up to him.

 

Victor rolled off the bed long enough to even the grounds, removing his own clothes and leaving them in a pile on the floor before rejoining Yuuri.  As Yuuri thumbed the black bikini briefs, his eyes teased up to Victor as he murmured, “Black seems to be our color today.”

 

“You always look amazing in dark colors...black, blue, deep maroons.”

 

“I’ll have to find something in deep red...for next time,” Yuuri teased softly.

 

Victor imagined the color against his lover’s skin and hummed with approval.  Fingers found their way up one another’s bodies as they pulled each other in for a kiss starting on the surface but quickly diving in deep, knowledge of the other knowing how to pull that moan from the other.  When they broke, breathless, Yuuri’s eyes held that sparkle once again and that made it all worth it.

 

“I love your smile,” Victor whispered, his thumb running over the surface, then laughing when Yuuri’s tongue darted out to lick it.  “Solnyshko moyo...my heart, my family.”

 

Yuuri’s eyes glittered and Victor could see the tears just beyond the surface but Yuuri’s smile let him know they were happy tears.  “I hate that we’re going to be apart.”

 

“I promise to stay out of trouble,” he returned teasingly.  “Besides, Otabek will be there to keep an eye on me.”

 

Yuuri snorted.  “Like he’d be forthcoming.  He might give you that look of disapproval but he won’t tell tales.”

 

Victor threw himself back dramatically and Yuuri followed, leaning over the older man’s chest.  “He’d tell Yura and that’s all that’s needed. I won’t have to worry about him telling you. Yura would make my life a living hell.”

 

His husband laughed at his antics.  “And just what kind of trouble were you thinking of getting into?”

 

“At most, I’d sneak some Vodka up to my room.”

 

“Chinese Vodka is lousy,” Yuuri quipped.

 

“Baijiu kicks my ass...I can’t touch that stuff.  I’d end up naked somewhere under the table. Otabek would keep an eye on me but he’d just let me stay naked.”

 

“Then I suppose you should think through your choices,” Yuuri supplied pointedly as he moved to straddle his husband and pull of his t-shirt.

 

The movement distracted Victor from his rant, his hand moving to run over the newly bared skin.  Victor slid his hand up over Yuuri’s shoulders and guided the younger man back down to another kiss.  “What do you want, my Yuuri? The moon?”

 

Yuuri rolled his eyes as he shook his head.  “Just you, goofball. And maybe a good hard fuck so I won’t forget you while you’re away.”

 

“I hope Andrei took Nina to the other end of the house,” Victor mused.

 

“Shhh,” Yuuri hushed him.  “No talking kids in the middle of sex.”

 

“You do it…”

 

Yuuri covered his lips with two fingers, his eyes twinkling, “More sex, less talk.”  To which, Victor rolled Yuuri back over and began shimmying down a pair of slightly sheer black undies.  Victor’s soon followed before he kissed his way back up Yuuri’s legs.

 

“Now...about those undies…” Victor teased, his finger lightly touching down that length.  Yuuri’s moan was punctuated by a slight squirm of that smaller body. “They are going with me…”

 

“Earn it!” Yuuri ordered.

 

Victor ducked his head down and traced his tongue along Yuuri’s length before sucking him down.  He felt Yuuri squirming as he reached for the side table and come off of him with a pop. “You could give me a chance,” he whined even as Yuuri plopped the lube in his hand.

 

“Pshh, we’re married.  I want you  _ inside  _ me.”

 

“So impatient!” Victor complained.

 

Yuuri leveled a stare at him.  “I just know what I want. Now, do you want me to face you or come from behind?”

 

“Oh, I get a say now?”  Victor’s pout didn’t win over Yuuri’s gaze.  With a huff, he told Yuuri, “Well, turn over, then.”

 

As Victor’s weight lifted off Yuuri, the younger man rolled over and lifted his ass in the air.  Victor couldn’t resist the playful swat on his fleshy cheeks gaining him an amused glare cast over Yuuri’s shoulder.  Victor chuckled as he warmed the lube with his fingers, leaning forward to kiss the center of Yuuri’s back as he ran his finger over Yuuri’s entrance.  The younger man relaxed immediately to his touch and his finger slid inside. “I love the way you open up for me.”

 

“Only you,” Yuuri breathed even as Victor prepared a second finger.  “Now, Vitya…” he urged his lover on. Victor slid, taking in Yuuri’s moan as he accepted the second finger.  Victor watched in amazement how Yuuri’s body continued to yield to his touch, opening him up with ease. A third finger came soon and then Yuuri was begging him for more.  “Fuck me, Vitya...I need you inside me.”

 

He pulled his fingers free, reaching for the towel to clean up before sliding on the condom.  Adding the lube, he lined himself up and eased into Yuuri, hearing his breathing and gasps as the younger man stretched around him.  “ _ Zolotse _ ,” Victor murmured as he pressed his hand against the center of Yuuri’s back.

 

The younger man glanced over his shoulder and demanded, “More, Vitya.”

 

Victor never could refuse him and pressed in deeper giving him everything.  Stilling, he waited for Yuuri once more, teasing a kiss into the center of his back.  “When you’re ready,  _ lyubov moya _ .”

 

Yuuri nodded, breathing through the stretch and finding his center.  Finally, he said, “Now...I’m ready.”

 

Victor began a slow, steady pace knowing his lover would become impatient before long.  A smile played at Victor’s lips at the thought of Yuuri’s impatient demands.

 

Those thoughts became a reality in no time.  “I said fuck me, Vitya.”

 

The older man chuckled, moving his hands to Yuuri’s hips, slamming into him hard.  A “yes” breathed out by Yuuri in answer told him that this was what his lover wanted.  He knew Yuuri would be sore the next day but Yuuri said he wanted to remember him. So he continued fucking Yuuri with a brutal pace listening to the younger man’s cries, feeling the sweat sheen on his skin.

 

When Victor slowed, Yuuri cast a challenging glare over his shoulder.  “Can’t keep up, Nikiforov?”

 

“So much sass!”  Victor answered that with a swat and heard the answering hiss but Yuuri wouldn’t let him relent, demanding more.  Victor could feel himself topple over the edge and thought he would lose when he heard Yuuri’s cry. With a smirk, he stroked through Yuuri’s orgasm and allowed himself the pleasure of coming shortly after.

 

They parted breathless, Yuuri curling on his side so he could see Victor while he settled.  He reached across the space as he held Victor’s eyes. “Thanks for coming to find me today. I would have been fine...but it is good to know someone will come looking all the same.”

 

“Always,” Victor promised.  “You know you don’t have to go through all of that alone.”

 

“I know...sometimes it’s just fighting through all of the thoughts.  I know they are toxic. You...you have a competition. I thought I could get it under control before anyone would miss me.”

 

Victor pulled Yuuri’s hand to his lips, kissing across the fingers.  “Oh, Yuuri...you are more important than any competition.”

 

“I was...mad at first that you had to come after me.  Not at you but at myself.”

 

“I don’t want you to be mad...it’s my job.  Just like you’d come searching if I disappeared without a word.”  Victor’s fingers caressed over Yuuri’s across the stretch.

 

Finally, Yuuri sighed looking at the mess in front of him.  “I guess...you are traveling with a pair of my panties.”

 

Victor winked.  “Isn’t there a story about that?”

 

Yuuri looked up at him, his eyes narrowing before he caught on.  “Those were pants, Vitya...and a very different scenario.”

 

“Oh, I think one of those ladies got lucky as well.”  He rolled out of Yuuri’s reach just as the pillow came towards his head, laughing as he skipped off to the bathroom to clean up.

 

* * *

  
  
  


Yuuri rejoined his family for the evening meal prepared by Yura and Otabek.  Nina stirred up the pasta with yummy noises before taking an overly generous bite.  Yuuri closed his eyes shaking his head but her giggle at Andrei’s tickling admonishment soothed his thoughts.  They were a family. All would be fine as long as they were together.

 

“Make sure you eat your salad,” Yura fussed at the seven-year-old.  “You want to stay healthy.”

 

“Salad doesn’t make you healthy,” she argued.

 

“Of course it does,” Yura argued looking at Otabek.

 

The Kazakh man shrugged, “It...helps you poop?”

 

This sent Nina into hysterical giggles and gained an exchange of glances from the adults.  However, Yuuri leaned in to save the moment. “Beka isn’t wrong...a lot of your immunity is found right here,” he teased as he tickled her causing a squeal.  “Right in your belly. So you have to keep it all clean.”

 

Andrei rolled his eyes and responded, “You guys are just gross.”

 

Yura smirked, sliding more pasta into his mouth, “I’ve been telling them that for almost two years now.”

 

* * *

  
  


As Victor and Otabek prepared to fly out to China, the older man ran through a checklist with the other two teens in the house.  “You have my number, Yura. Call me if Yuuri has another bad day.”

 

“He’ll kill me,” the older teen groaned.  “Can’t you just trust me to take care of it?”

 

Victor smiled patiently, placing a steady hand on the blonde’s shoulder.  “I do trust you, which is why I’m telling you to call me. I just want to be kept in the loop.  You are one of the few people I trust to keep an eye on my family.”

 

That softened the younger man and those green eyes even showed signs of a smile.  “Just so you realize I’ve got this,” he answered gruffly. “If he gets too difficult, I’ll call Lilia.”

 

“Good plan.  Dmitry and Ivan are good options as well.”

 

“They’re just as goofy as you, old man,” he snorted.

 

“They will know what to do in a pinch.”  Turning to Andrei, he held the blue eyes for a few moments before he stated, “I rely on you, as well.  If shit hits the fan, I know I don’t have to tell you to keep a hold on Nina. You two are a team. Keep Yuuri distracted from the news.  He promised me no social media but if you have to lock him out, do so.”

 

“Are they still rioting?” Andrei asked, his voice quiet but steady.

 

“No, it’s under control but they are still dealing with damages.  It was quickly subdued. I just want to keep Yuuri settled.”

 

After he addressed the boys, he looked up to see his husband round the corner holding Nina in one arm.  “You weren’t going to leave without kissing us goodbye,” the brown eyed vixen teased as if he didn’t know Victor was making plans to keep him safe.

 

“Never,” he murmured.  He leaned in and gave a loud smack of a kiss on Nina’s cheek which left her giggling, turning to hide in the crook of Yuuri’s neck before turning back to his husband.  The kiss he brushed over Yuuri’s lips was soft and caressing, full of promise and love. They rested their foreheads together as he murmured, “It’s only a few days and then I’ll be back, _ lyubov moya _ .  I’ll call every night.”

 

“Good...I’ll want to hear from you.  You take care, as well. I’ve already given Otabek his orders to watch over you as well,” Yuuri teased, winking as he backed out of Victor’s reach.  Victor knew he had been caught, and Yuuri was well aware of the conversation he’d had with the boys. But rather than fight it, he left his own orders with Otabek.

 

Stepping outside, he called back, “Two minutes, Otabek!”

 

The other man nodded, “Yes, sir!”

 

The family slipped away letting the teens have their moment in private then they were gone, headed to China.

 

* * *

  
  


**Cup of China - November 3-5 - Beijing**

 

In the room Victor was sharing with Otabek, he began unpacking as he hummed.  Otabek just parked his suitcase on the rack and hung his skate costumes. Leaning back against the pillows to play on his phone and likely text Yura.  Victor pulled out his t-shirts and dropped something on the floor.

 

“You dropped something…” Otabek’s voice trailed off at the telling pink of Victor’s cheeks as he scooped up the black piece of lycra.

 

Victor fumbled with a lame excuse, “Yuuri must have…”

 

Otabek quickly waved both hands in the air.  “I didn’t ask.”

 

They both renewed their focus on their activities letting the incident drop.  Yuuri would kill both of them if he found out.

 

* * *

  
  


Yuuri looked at the coffee table full of snacks as his living room filled up with friends to watch the Cup of China.  The get-together had been cooked up by Mila and Yura as a way to distract Yuuri from Victor’s absence and the slow processes of restoring total order to the prison.  Yura had made a big show of complaining about how people get to throw parties for football matches. Andrei, picking up the not-subtle hint, immediately joined in. However, when they drafted Nina, a low-blow Yuuri thought, the Japanese man finally relented.  Now Yuuri found himself thrown into preparing appetizers and finger foods for the showing. At least most of it was light. Yuuri reached out for a  [ lettuce cup ](https://www.cookingchanneltv.com/recipes/ellie-krieger/lettuce-cups-with-tofu-and-beef-1953242) with beef lightened up with tofu.  He could see Nina seated in the criss-cross of Mila’s legs, the redhead playing with her curls.

 

Nina started giggling suddenly.  When Yuuri looked her direction in interest, she pointed towards the screen.  “He really does make you think of a chicken nugget!”

 

Yuuri turned his glare to his younger namesake.  “Yura!”

 

The blonde ducked down trying to hide in front of the table.  “It’s a fair assessment! He’s even got a hashtag on IG for that hair!”

 

Yuuri pursed his lips and found himself, not for the first time, sounding exactly like his mother scolding Mari.  “Just because he had a crush on you last season, doesn’t mean you should be mean!”

 

“You said not to say anything I wouldn’t say to his face!”  Yura remained incredulous, praying that Mila would step up to say something cold about Ashley Wagner…there was little love lost on either side of that fude.  But the redhead simply smiled and gave him her best  _ you’re on your own _ look.

 

His arms folded neatly across his chest, eyebrow cocked, “You would call him chicken nugget to his face?”

 

Yuri held the brown eyes for a long minute before ducking down with a mumbled, “No…”   _ Yes, several times. _

 

Turning back to Nina, Yuuri added, “Minami is a hard worker.  Let’s not call him a chicken nugget.”

 

“Okay, Chichi,” she squeaked, her eyes wide as saucers.

 

Mila smirked over her shoulder, her delight evident.  Yuuri glared her way and she at least ducked down.  _ Don’t think for a second I haven’t followed your twitter beef. _

 

Next came Victor’s short program.  Nina clapped her hands excitedly. “I picked this one!” she squealed.

 

Mila hugged her chuckling warmly.  “Too bad Georgi couldn’t join us.”

 

“He wanted to spend the evening with his girlfriend,” Yura supplied.

 

“He could have brought her along,” Ivan pointed out, as both he and Dmitry were intent on proving the chair they enjoyed was designed for two.

 

“She would have joined us,” Yuuri stated.  “But I think she’s under the weather.”

 

Nina nodded.  “She wore a mask this afternoon and said she had a sore throat.  She didn’t want to get us sick.”

 

The opening notes of  [ The Last Unicorn ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L2_oyGwdX14) began and Victor was intent to prove that not only was he as unique as a unicorn but that he still had all of his womanly charms.  Yuuri let a smile tease his lips at his husband’s program.

 

After Otabek skated, Yuuri held out his hand for his daughter to put her to bed.  He’d watch them all again later with Victor. Relinquishing the living room to the others, he curled up with his daughter reading the story behind Victor’s song, a shortened version made for children.  By the time he emerged, he was able to catch the tail end of Emil’s program with only Adam’s skate left. “Did I miss Guang Hong?”

 

“It’s recorded.  We can play it back if you want?” Yura supplied.

 

Yuuri wanted to see Adam Rippon skate, however.  He was only slightly younger than Victor and had a lot of sass.  A smile settled on Yuuri’s lips as he considered that the American might be nearly as extra as his own husband.   _ Almost. _

 

After the ranks were announced, putting Victor in first, Otabek second, and Adam in third, Yuuri saw Ivan and Dmitry.  Mila, Yura, and Andrei were cleaning up. The boys were bunking together with Andrei giving his bed up for Mila. He left them to their banter and moved back to his room.  Soon he’d hear the voice he wanted to hear all day.

 

The phone rang and Yuuri smiled as he recovered it from the charger.  “Hello, my Yuuri…”

  
  


________________________

NOTES:  
  


So this was what I had originally...but I decided to go lowkey....because this story has never been about the technicalities but the emotional relationships.  

Victor is skating along with Otabek, Guang Hong, Minami, Emil, and Adam Rippon.    And Adam was a last minute add.

 

[ The Last Unicorn ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L2_oyGwdX14) \- Victor’s short

 

Otabek’s short - I may have this noted somewhere but not here.

 

Emil's short - I'd need to figure this one out.

 

[ Assassin's Creed III Main Theme ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EevWu6A1LPM) \- Guang Hong free

 

Kenjirou’s free - I know this isn't noted anywhere...but I planned to put it together.

 

And Adam would skate his original programs.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any real figure skaters you'd like to see show up?


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri holds onto the struggles of his family as he heads off to compete in Osaka.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay...I accidentally posted this in the One Shots account. SOOOOO...here is where it belongs.
> 
> Thanks to both BluSkates and Magrathea for editing this one so quickly. You do beautiful work!

* * *

 

 

Yuuri shifted uncomfortably in the sitting room.  “Why do you think she called us here?” he whispered to Victor, the worry filtering into his voice.

 

A pale hand with long fingers wrapped around his, patting it with the other.  “Don’t worry. I’m sure Lidiya would have called us sooner if there was a worry.  She’s worked with kids and adolescents too long to let a problem become too big.”

 

Yuuri nodded nervously, his eyes darting towards the door then sliding over the volumes of Russian literature lining the shelves next to it.  The door opened and both Yuuri and Victor rose to their feet to greet her.

 

“Settle down,” she greeted warmly.  “I’m not my sister. I won’t eat you for lunch,” she teased.  As they took their seats, Yuuri watched her smooth out her skirt as she considered her words.  “Andrei is very talented and that talent can take him far...if he allows himself.”

 

“What do you mean?” Yuuri asked.

 

“I know I’ve talked about the international competition in April.  To prepare him, I’ve arranged for him to participate in a number of competitions along the way.  As you both know, competition is far more than being able to perform alone in a room, it’s imperative that he become familiar with performing for an audience and judges.  And he’s open to this, unafraid of the judges, the audience, even his competition. However, when I suggest any non-local competitions, he shys away.”

 

Victor frowned as he leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees, his fingers steepling together.  “Both Yuuri and I encourage him to compete, to follow through in his educational goals.”

 

She dazzled them with a brilliant smile, all the more graceful in its sincerity.  “I realize that he has your support. However, he seems...reticent...to accept it.  He seems to think what he wants isn’t as important as what the two of you wish to pursue.  So, he steps back. And if it comes to him and Nina, he’ll step back as well. We need him to move forward.”

 

Yuuri frowned as he listened to Lidiya’s explanation.  “Perhaps I should talk to him,” Yuuri suggested.

 

“Well, the next competition is in Moscow.  I’d really like to get him there because there is a conservatory that watches this competition.  And he’s ready. He’s put in the time.”

 

“But?” Yuuri prompted.

 

She sighed and spread her hands wide, signalling the problem.  “It’s next week and falls during the same weekend as your next competition.”

 

“He’ll go,” Yuuri determined, his mind made up before he even had to think about it.  “Make the arrangements. Vitya is here for Nina.”

 

Lidiya blinked, happy that her student has such support but still surprised by the total lack of hesitation on his father’s part.  “Are you sure?”

 

Yuuri met Victor’s eyes, which said  _ yes _ with every bit of strength as Yuuri had vocalized.  He nodded. “I’ll make sure he is here. When do you need to leave?”

 

“Early Tuesday.  I’ll confirm our room and our flight.  The itinerary will be texted to both of you.”

 

“Thank you, Lidiya,” Victor responded, taking her hand and squeezing it.  “Our Andrei may need a push to leave the nest, but we’ll give him what he needs.”

 

* * *

  
  


On the way back to their apartment, Yuuri fretted.  “This is my fault.  He watches me falter.”

 

“Yuuuriii,” Victor clicked at him,elongating the last syllable, a sure sign he worried his husband was taking on unnecessary blame.  “This is both of our faults. We were so focused on our schedules that we didn’t notice our son needed some extra support.”

 

“I’d like to see his final show…”  Yuuri looked up at him beseechingly.  

 

Victor smiled warmly.  “I’ll see if I can reroute your flight to Moscow.  We’ll meet you there.”

 

“Less time missed for Nina.”  Yuuri’s brain immediately thought of his daughter, panic filling in the holes.  “Oh, Nina...do you think she’s keeping anything from us?”

 

Victor chuckled warmly.  “Where is she going to hide?  Georgi is dating her teacher and Svetta wouldn’t hesitate to call with her concerns if she didn’t stop by in person first.  You and Lilia teach her ballet and when we’re all home she’s attached to us...literally. I don’t think she’s one to hide her emotions.”  He thought of his daughter who was unafraid to show all her cards. “No, Andrei slipped through because he has greater independence. But it’s fine.  Lidiya called us and pulled us on board. Now to see to our son.”

 

Yuuri nodded, his eyes focusing on the road before them.  “Let me do it.”

 

Victor tilted his head to one side and asked, “Just you?”

 

“Yes...that way if he gets pissed, well, I’m gone all week.”

 

Victor nodded at the logic of the plan, but then... “So is he.”

 

Yuuri smiled at his husband, “But you’re closer and will have to deal with any attitude that comes up.  Let me bear the brunt of it.”

 

“I don’t think Andrei is going to give you attitude,” Victor argued then with a sigh, he shrugged.  “Very well. But I get the next one.”

 

Yuuri smiled thinly and nodded.

 

* * *

  
  


Yuuri sat across from Andrei at their favorite American knock-off burger joint.  “So what’s been going on?”

 

Andrei shrugged.  “Just practice and school.”

 

“Do you have any upcoming competitions?” Yuuri prompted, taking a long pull from the straw of his milkshake.   _ Vitya would kill me if he saw all of these calories.  _  Then he stopped, and almost laughed at himself.   _ No, Vitya will whine that he wasn’t included in the calorie binge.  He’d kill me out of jealousy. YAKOV...Yakov would actually kill me. _

 

Andrei’s eyes flicked up then away.  “There is one thing with the school. More of a recital.  And then we’ll be getting ready for  _ The Nutcracker _ .  The dance students are already preparing.”

 

“I love Tchaikovsky,” Yuuri breathed with a smile.

 

“I think it’s a national requirement in Russia,” Andrei smirked.

 

Yuuri took another drink from his shake before asking, “So what about Moscow?”

 

Andrei’s eyes darted up.   _ Caught!   _ They then dropped down.  “It’s...too late.” Andrei snuck a glance at Yuuri, seeing his lie didn’t work he fumbled for his litany of excuses.  “Besides, you have to go to Osaka. I need to stay and help with Nina!” All of Andrei’s protests fell flat on Yuuri’s ears as he peeked up through his pale lashes.

 

Yuuri was chewing a fry thoughtfully, tasting the curious fry sauce he enjoyed made from mayonnaise.  “You can’t hide behind your sister forever. I know. Trust me, I tried. And my sister is bigger...and scarier.”  He heard the boy across the table suppressing a laugh. Focusing his eyes on his son, he added, “And you can’t hide behind us.  You have real talent. If you lacked a passion for it, we’d let it go. But all of us have heard you talk about music. All genres.  You need to do this, it’s part of you.”

 

Andrei chewed his lip then whispered, “I’ve never flown without you or Vi-Papa.”

 

Yuuri’s expression softened.  “You know, I’ve gone through a lot of  _ nevers  _ growing up.  And on the other side, it was not so scary.  And this time, you aren’t flying alone. You have Lidiya.  Besides, by your age, Yura had taken that flight a hundred times on his own.”

 

Andrei huffed.  “That’s different.  He was going to see his Grandpa.”

 

“I agree...it was different.  He allowed himself to move to St. Petersburg at a much younger age because he wanted to skate.  He knew that the people he loved would understand the sacrifice he was making and support his decision to follow his passion.  What...will you allow yourself to do?”

 

Andrei toyed with a fry, twisting it in the sauce then abandoning it.  Looking up to meet Yuuri’s eyes, he asked in a small voice, “Would you...go to the airport with me?”

 

“I’ll do even more than that,” Yuuri promised.  “My flight is later in the morning. I’ll see you off before setting off for my flight.  Deal?”

 

He drew a shaky breath then nodded.  “I...can do that.”

 

* * *

  
  


Tuesday morning, the family drove to the airport to meet Lidiya at five.  Two sets of clearly marked luggage were piled into the back. Yura snorted at his brother.  “I would have gone with you if you let me know ahead of time, idiot.”

 

Nina gasped dramatically.  “Is he allowed to say that?”  Her big eyes looked back and forth between her fathers.

 

Yuuri rolled his eyes before saying, “I’ll let it slide this time.”   _ She is turning into a tattle-tale.  We’ll have to see if she’s also a teacher’s pet. _

 

At the curb, hugs were exchanged with well-wishes before Yuuri led his son into the airport.  Lidiya raised an eyebrow as Andrei averted his eyes. Yuuri could see her smirk even as she led the boy to the counter.  Making the transaction for their flights with Yuuri down the counter making arrangements for his own international flight, they came back together after going through security checks.

 

At the gate, Andrei hugged Yuuri, clinging to him like his life depended on it.  Yuuri smoothed his hair, meeting Lidiya’s gaze who waited again with a sardonic eyebrow raised.  “It will be fine. Call Vitya when you arrive. I’ll be in the air. I’ll call once I get to Japan.”

 

“I might be playing,” Andrei warned.

 

Yuuri chuckled.  “I’ll check the schedule first.”  He then watched his son leave with Lidiya before moving down to wait for his flight, pulling out his phone to read.  He looked up two hours later and smiled to see Mila and Yakov joining him. The redhead flounced down next to him, leaning her head on his shoulder.  “Victor said I could room with you.”

 

Yuuri snorted.  “What happened to rooming with Sara?”

 

She huffed dramatically.  “Michele is being even more ridiculous!  He has her rooming with him so he can keep an eye on her.  What does he think I’m going to do?”

 

“I think he’s worried one of us gay men are going to make a pass at her,” Yuuri answered tongue-in-cheek.

 

She snorted before asking, “How did Andrei do?”

 

Yuuri sighed but still smiled, “He got on the plane, so I’m thinking it went well.  He’ll call Vitya when he lands.”

 

“Good.  To think the little dear was afraid of flying.”  She rolled her eyes. More ammo.

 

Yuuri glanced towards the airport window, rain starting to fall.  “I think it was more than that. He’s got a little separation anxiety.  And he tends to linger in his comfort zones. But...it’s good for him to feel discomfort from time to time...in a safe environment, of course.”  The words rolled easily off Yuuri’s tongue and made perfect sense. In his head, though, Yuuri felt guilty.  _  I should have gone with him.  He’s not ready to be on his own. _

 

* * *

  
  


**NHK Trophy - November 10-12 - Osaka**

 

At the hotel, Yuuri and Mila bumped into Sara and the three of them hugged before Michele’s disapproving throat clearing separated them.  Besides Michele, Yuuri would be facing Seung-gil Lee, JJ Leroy, Guang Hong Ji, and Jason Brown.

 

JJ met his eyes as he broke free of the girls and asked, “Where’s your entourage?”

 

“Victor is home with the kids,” Yuuri answered, simply ready to move on when he felt a hand on his arm.  Turning, he smiled much more easily than in the past.

 

“You’re doing so much better,” the Canadian observed.  “Are the rumors right?”

 

“Rumors?” Yuuri asked with a frown.

 

JJ leaned in, afraid to betray his interest, but doing so all the same.  “About Nikiforov’s retirement.”

 

Yuuri shrugged and answered, “We make it a point not to interfere with each other’s career decisions.  Less fighting that way.”

 

Later as Yuuri unlocked the door, he sighed as he heard Mila and Sara giggling from inside.   _ Vitya, what did you get me into? _  A clearing throat caught Yuuri’s ear and he turned to meet Seung-gil’s eyes.  “How are you?” Yuuri asked softly.

 

“Better.  And you?”

 

“Much better.  This year...feels better.”

 

“Less weight.”  The Korean man fumbled with his words.  There was a connection between the two that formed a relationship neither was comfortable with.  But for Yuuri’s part, he always welcomed Seung-gil’s friendship.

 

“Exactly.”  Yuuri turned towards the room and hesitated once more turning back to the Korean.  “I do have bad days still.”

 

“Me, too.”  He paused, caught between sharing and closing himself off.  “I’ve started talking to someone. Like you suggested. It helps.”

 

Yuuri smiled, hoping to encourage the man to stay and talk.  “I heard you changed skate clubs.”

 

The Korean nodded, his expression somber.  “I couldn’t get past his locker. It was too hard.”

 

Seung-gil finally entered his room leaving Yuuri with the girls.  Going inside, he heard them sharing the latest gossip but as soon as the door closed, Sara focused on him.  “So...about Seung-gil. Straight or gay...or somewhere in between.”

 

Yuuri rolled his eyes but then answered, “I think straight.”

 

The black eyes of the lovely Italian girl sharpened on him, “What about his friend?  The one that killed himself.”

 

Yuuri winced but again answered, “Just a friend.  Sara, he’s still hurting. Don’t go fucking with him right now.”

 

“I wouldn’t do anything to  _ hurt  _ him, Yuuri...I just want to get to know him.  He’s hard to read.”

 

Yuuri thinned his lips.  “I know. And what he went through...I don’t know if that made it easier or harder.”

 

“But you’re his friend.”

 

Yuuri nodded but added, “A friend that respects his space.”

  
  


* * *

  
  


**Andrei/ Dad!**

 

Yuuri smiled.  His son was still trying to figure out what to call them.  He quickly replied back.

 

**Yuuri/ Yes, Son!**

 

**Andrei/ I’m rolling my eyes right now.**

 

**Yuuri/ I wouldn’t expect anything less.**

 

**Andrei/ I play tomorrow.  At three. First rounds. Lidiya found a place for me to practice.  It’s in a drag club. Is that okay?**

 

Yuuri raised both eyebrows at that.  Not that he doubted Lidiya, but the connection surprised him.

 

**Yuuri/ I trust Lidiya’s judgment not to take you during clubbing hours.**

 

A new chime sound signaled another voice in the conversation and Yuuri chuckled at the piano teacher’s clarification of the topic.

 

**Lidiya/ It’s not a club, it’s a show.  They do cabaret.**

 

**Yuuri/ I wasn’t worried.  I know you’ll take the best of care of him.**

 

**Lidiya/ I know the owner.  The brother to my old lover.**

 

**Yuuri/ I like to make good use of my resources as well.  Hopefully, I can meet him when I fly in Monday.**

 

**Lidiya/ I’ll keep you informed.  I fully expect Andrei to make it to the second round.**

 

**Yuuri/ As do I.**

  
  


Calling his husband, Victor’s musical voice came across the connection.  “Have you talked to our son?”

 

Yuuri chuckled softly as he stretched out in his bed.  Mila had somehow snuck out with Sara without her brother knowing, leaving Yuuri enjoying the quiet.  “You set me up with Mila as a roommate.”

 

Victor giggled.  “Well, I thought she might help keep you settled.”

 

“I see.”  He closed his eyes and rubbed his temple.  “So...about our son. He seemed to think we’d have a problem with him being at a drag club.”

 

“Da!  I noticed!  I was thinking maybe he hasn’t been by to see his old neighborhood for a while.”

 

Yuuri thought about it, calculating back to their last visit.  “You are right. Perhaps we can rectify that.”

 

“I was thinking about maybe a small party between the Final and Nationals.  Maybe we can watch some of Andrei’s competition video.”

 

Yuuri considered the idea that his parents are likely preparing for a viewing party as they spoke.  “He’d hate that.”

 

He could almost see Victor’s grin.  “So it’s a  _ yes _ ?”

 

Yuuri rolled his eyes, running his hand through his hair.  “Sure. Why not?” As he hung up, he had to admit, however, he was tired.  Practice was grating his nerves. The lack of alone time was pulling at his skin.  The travel kept him off balance. He needed quiet. Somewhere to shut it all out.  _ But why not add another thing to the schedule? _

 

He turned over and pretended to be asleep when Mila came back.

 

* * *

  
  


Yuuri stretched, breathing in then out, trying to hide the breathing exercises he used to settle his nerves.  He side-eyed his phone as another message vibrated then went back to his stretch. He forced a smile as Mila flounced over and sat next to him, her knees pulled to her chest.

 

“So what do you think of Misha Ge?”

 

Yuuri raised an eyebrow.  “He’s...talking about retiring after this season...he’s choreographed a number of programs, although I prefer Vitya’s style myself,” he decided on.

 

“I’m not thinking about having him choreograph my programs...although I’ll keep that in mind if Vitya or you are unavailable.”

 

Yuuri sighed.  He really didn’t want to have these kinds of talks.  Still, he went through the motions. “Then what do you have in mind?”

 

She winked before pushing up from her position.  “Maybe...nothing. I don’t know.” Then she danced out of the way of another skater and disappeared towards the stands.

 

Yuuri laid back, thinking about his upcoming program.   [ Spring Waltz ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vrcP0VWV320) by Chopin.  Played by his son, Andrei.  He wanted to do this program justice, do his son’s hard work justice...he wanted...to be in Moscow, standing behind his son.  He huffed. Pushing up, he began running in place to get his muscles good and warmed up. Tucking his phone in his pocket, he plugged in his earbuds and began working through the choreography in his mind as he continued warming up.

 

Before he knew it, it was time to skate.  Handing his jacket and phone to Yakov, he leaned against the rail and removed the guards.  Yakov held out his other hand and took those from him as well. As Yuuri took a warm up lap, he stopped before the old coach.  The old man studied him, and guessed his worries. “Everyone thinks that this year isn’t so hard. Not compared to last.”

 

“It’s a different kind of hard,” Yuuri murmured.

 

“I agree.  Regardless what you decide, do your son’s work honor.  I know he’s been working equally hard as his two fathers.”

 

Yuuri took a deep breath and let it out.  “I will. Thank you, Yakov.” Skating back, he took his opening position.

 

The movement from Chopin greeted Yuuri as he moved into the music.  Andrei chose it to represent how he viewed Victor’s and Yuuri’s marriage.  They struggled so hard, fighting through a winter that seemed would never end but when they came through it, cherry blossom petals rained down on them and they took their pain and opened up their hearts to the children, Yura who would always be first, then Andrei who captured Yuuri’s heart, and finally, their little Nina.  And Yuuri’s passion shifted. No longer was he consumed by his need to skate, but by his family. His husband. His children. And home. He longed for beauty, the grace of the programs, but it was harder and harder to leave his family for it. It was harder and harder to say goodbye to those he loved.

 

Yuuri’s skate was bittersweet, not the emotion he originally planned, but he felt like it was a transition piece.  Coming off the ice, he was given Yakov’s strength and his phone. He looked to see the many supportive messages coming through.  And as he waited for his scores, all he wanted to hear was his husband’s voice.

 

**_98.6_ **

 

Yuuri took a deep breath and let it out.  He’d done better...he’d definitely done worse.  It would hold for now. JJ held the first place position as Yakov led him out, knowing Yuuri needed privacy.

 

Picking up his phone, he called home.  “V-vitya?” He felt his tears. He felt his failure.  His son...would he be ashamed of him?

 

Down the line Victor’s loving voice chimed out, “My beautiful Yuuri, why are you crying?”

 

“I am in third...I...didn’t do justice to the music our son worked so hard to prepare.”  The pressure he had felt building within himself was bubbling over and he could hear it coming out in his voice.

 

“You are in good standing for tomorrow.  Your goal this time is just to make it to the final.”

 

Yuuri heard the words, understood the logic, but he couldn’t shake his own anxiety, “But Andrei…”

 

“Our Andrei fought just as hard.  He made it to round two. You just need to make it to round three.  Fight like our son, Yuuri...then come home to us. We’ll meet you in Moscow.”

 

Yuuri sighed in relief.  “You were able to change the ticket.”

 

Victor’s voice sounded like warmed caramel, “Of course!”

 

* * *

  
  


Later, Yuuri sat in his room resting in the quiet.  Mila and Sara were skating their programs and he should be there, he should support her.  But he needed quiet, he needed silence. Then his phone vibrated.

 

**Andrei/ Dad!**

 

Yuuri smiled.   _ So I guess Dad is going to stick a while. _

 

**Yuuri/ Yes, Son?**

 

**Andrei/ Some of the others here watched you skate and were impressed that you skated to my music.  Thanks, Dad!**

 

Yuuri smiled.   _ I thought I failed, I wasn’t good enough.  You were just glad I used your music. _

 

**Yuuri/ I’m honored you trusted me with it.  See you soon.**

 

* * *

  
  


Yuuri wrapped up with a silver medal at the NHK, JJ taking gold.  He graciously offered his congratulations. When interviewed, Morooka asked what he was feeling at the moment.

 

“I’m ready to go home, see my husband and children.”  His smile showed his exhaustion, and the reporter seemed to understand.

 

* * *

  
  


Yuuri scratched at his arm as he shifted in bed.  The exhaustion battled with the jumpiness of his muscles as he tried to settle in to sleep.   _ I fly out tomorrow. _  He shifted restlessly when his phone rang.  _  Vitya. _

 

“ _ Moshi moshi _ ,” Yuuri answered.

 

“My Yuuri, you sound tired,” Victor returned and he could picture his husband tapping his lip with his finger.

 

“You should be in bed,” Yuuri argued.

 

“I just got up.  Nina is being very stubborn about getting up for school,” Victor laughed.

 

Yuuri couldn’t help the smile playing on his lips.  “She takes after me,” Yuuri murmured. Turning once more to stretch the kink forming in his side, he hummed softly.  “How...did it look?”

 

“You were beautiful, Yuuri.  There are some improvements we can make, but you were so beautiful.  I could tell you were getting up in your head...especially during the short program.”

 

Yuuri sighed.  “I know. I was worried about Andrei...and not being there for you.”

 

“Dyusha was worried about not being there for you,” Victor clicked his tongue in disapproval.  “I worry when I’m here and not there. It’s going to be hard.”

 

“It would be easier if I just retired.  Focus on the family while you focus on your career.”

 

“Yuuuriiii,” Victor groaned.  “You can’t retire! I’m retiring.  We’ve already talked about it. My knees are already wearing out.  You still have a few good years left in you. Besides...this family never did  _ easy _ .  Your career is just as important as mine.”

 

Yuuri closed his eyes, admiring his husband’s cool manner helping him keep things in perspective.  “You’re right, Vitya...I’m just...tired.”

 

“We’ll see you soon,  _ solnyshko _ .  Get some rest.”

 

* * *

* * *

  
  


NOTES:  The  [ Moscow Piano Open ](http://moscowpianoopen.eu/) actually took place in October (as the website shows) but I took a little author’s privilege and moved the date.  I also couldn’t find age but I did find it when looking for youth competitions. This is a newer international competition and Lidiya’s goal is to provide greater competition experience as well as some travel experience.  Andrei hasn’t been outside St. Petersburg without his family and this is a big move for him.

 

[ Spring Waltz ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vrcP0VWV320) , which is credited to Chopin in the video is actually (a) not a waltz and (b) not a piece by Chopin at all.  I left it in as I discovered the information by accident today...and it turns out it is in the credits below the video.  So boo to me for not doing better research. So my apologies to the original composer, Paul de Senneville and his piece Mariage d’Amour from which this piece seems to have originated.  #NotAMusicMajor

 

I left this piece credited as it is because it ties to Andrei’s part of his story, his struggle to step forward so used to staying in the background and out of the spotlight...so we’ll pretend but I wanted to take a moment and give credit where credit is due.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The struggle is real! I love this story again, though. Thank you, Magrathea, for helping me to find my direction again. 
> 
> So, I've sort of put together a posting schedule. (Mind you, times are adjustable based on my availability and that of my lovely beta readers Magrathea and BluSkates.)
> 
> Tuesday - L&F (I don't know if they will get edited to go up this week...if not, maybe I can do two next week)  
> Wednesday - LLO (That's this one)  
> Thursday - Something new starting next week  
> Friday - GY
> 
> Happy reading.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri is back and Victor worries through the week as he prepares for Lake Placid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for the edits, BluSkates and Magrathea!

* * *

 

 

**Moscow Piano Open**

 

Victor was waiting at the airport when Yuuri disembarked.  It was cutting it close. The suitcase was slid into the familiar Rover and Yuuri raised an eyebrow.  “Did you drive?”

 

“Yes...I didn’t have near the luck with my own tickets.”  Victor flashed a grin then refocused on the road. A small head bounced behind him excitedly until Victor gave her a look in the mirror.

 

Yuuri smiled, shaking his head.  “I’m glad the roads were good.”

 

Victor shrugged looking at the traffic thinning before him as they pulled from the airport roundabout and onto the highway.  “It’s getting late in the year. I’m surprised snow hasn’t come yet.”

 

Entering the building, they were directed to the room where Andrei would be performing.  Yuuri stood next to his husband and daughter, brown eyes searching the room. Spotting his son waiting his turn, he let out a pleased sigh of relief.   _ In time _ .

 

They found seats, waiting for their son’s turn.  Victor took hold of Yuuri’s hand and he couldn’t help but smile at his excitement.  Then it was announced.  [ Hidden Message ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ySzJ2boIyzs) , Alexey Shor.

 

The music filled the hall and Yuuri felt the warm notes as he listened to his son play.  He remembered the piece, the hidden code within, a love letter to the composer’s mother. Very appropriate for his son who still mourned his mother.  Victor must have made the connection, too, because Yuuri heard him sniff and felt his arm tighten around his shoulder. As the piece wrapped up, they had to keep a firm hold on Nina who was excited and wanted to go down and see her brother.  They met him in the hallway.

 

Andrei ran up and embraced them.  “You came! How?”

 

“It was close and we didn’t want to say anything just in case I couldn’t make it,” Yuuri said softly smoothing his hair.  Then he found himself enfolded in Andrei’s arms, a quick hitch of breath.

 

“Thanks, Dad,” he whispered.  Yuuri tightened his arms around his son.  Victor’s hand rested on Andrei’s back and the boy turned to hug him as well.  “Papa…” Victor held him close.

 

To the side, Nina was jumping up and down wanting to be included and Andrei laughed even as he scooped her up.  “Don’t wrinkle my suit with your squirming, pipsqueak!”

 

“That’s Yura’s word for me!” she pouted.

 

He looked around sadly and met Victor’s eyes.  “He couldn’t come?”

 

“He was meeting Yakov and Mila...they were turning around and heading to France.”

 

“Always someplace,” Andrei sighed.  Meeting each of their eyes, he asked, “Will I have to do that?  Always travel, always going someplace new?”

 

“What do you mean, Andrei?” Yuuri asked.

 

He shrugged.  “I...like being home.  I know these competitions mean opportunities.  But...when I’m older, I don’t want to be always going someplace new.  How can I do music and stay still?”

 

Yuuri smiled softly, settling his hair around his son’s face.  “There are different ways to embrace the things you love. You may prefer to compose.  But you will still have to find someplace to study.”

 

“I think...I can go for a time.  I just want to know I have a place to come home to,” he responded.

 

“You’ve always got a home with us.  Just like Nina. Just like Yura,” Victor broke in.  “I hope you know that.”

 

“I just...I don’t have big dreams.  Well, not  _ international sports star  _ big dreams.  I wanted to make sure you knew that.”

 

“Lidiya wanted you to come here so that the conservatory would see you and consider you for entrance,” Yuuri explained softly.  “If you prefer something closer to us...somewhere in Japan…”

 

Andrei’s eyes widened and he shook his head.  “Those kids in Japan have been studying since kindergarten!  That’s like you and dance! And I’d have to master Japanese! You said yourself that’s like three alphabets!”

 

Yuuri laughed softly scruffing his hair.  “It’s not that bad...most people only read Katakana, but I can understand if you prefer to study here.”

 

“I’ve been talking to Lidiya about joining us this coming year as your teacher and Nina’s nanny,” Victor explained softly.

 

“You’ll take your academic lessons online, like Yura, to finish up high school,” Yuuri added.

 

“Nina’s not going to know the language there,” Andrei pressed.

 

“We’ll hire tutors and transition her slowly.  She won’t go straight into school,” Yuuri continued.  He wanted to point out that her cultural acclamation would be easier as she’s a child, and a sponge for knowledge, but Yuuri could sense that his son was really talking of his own worries through the lens of his sister.  “Are you...okay?”

 

He shrugged.  “I feel like I’m always searching to find my place.  I...don’t know where I belong.”

 

Yuuri wrapped him up in his arms.  “You belong with us, Andrei. Always with us.  We aren’t...pushing you away. I’d keep you at home forever if I could but that’s not what you need.”

 

Andrei nodded.  He knew this...but letting go of his family just when he got it...  “I’ve gained so much since you and Victor came into my life. I...don’t want to lose it.  I’ve lost too much.”

 

“You won’t lose us, Andrei,” Victor said firmly.

 

* * *

  
  


Back in their room, Yuuri was greeted by Makkachin and Cocoa.  “You brought them!”

 

“Well, in the Rover, piece of cake,” Victor said as he pulled Yuuri’s luggage out on the bed and began sorting.  “You should have taken Cocoa.”

 

Yuuri sighed and nodded in agreement.  “I know. With the change in tickets, I wasn’t sure if we’d have time to deal with the paperwork...and I didn’t know how I was traveling from Moscow.”

 

“If you would have just let me handle it, we could have gotten it all sorted out.”

 

“I’ve promised I’ll listen next time,” Yuuri began.

 

“But we both know you can be stubborn to the point of idiocy,” Victor grumbled.

 

Yuuri sighed once more, pulling his knees to his chest.  Nina had watched the interchange with big eyes. Arguments were common among the boys.  Even between the boys and Victor. But Yuuri rarely argued. He preferred to fight smarter, not harder.  Tilting her head, she asked, “Why didn’t you take Cocoa, Chichi?”

 

As the chocolate brown poodle wriggled into his lap, he tangled his fingers into her curls.  “I was just too focused on what needed to be done for Andrei and the adjustments to my own travel plans.  I...didn’t have it in my head how to work out the logistics of getting her onto the plane and then traveling with her.  Sometimes when I have to make sudden changes I can be overwhelmed and then I shut down to any new ideas,” he cast a glance at his husband, “even the ones that make perfect sense.”.”

 

She wrinkled her nose at that big words and looked at her Papa for explanation.  Victor readily gave it to her. “Chichi is too stubborn to ask for help sometimes and tries to do everything himself.”  Putting the last of the dirty clothes into the suitcase, he laid out some clean pieces on the dresser. Turning, he took in the defeated look on his partner, his exhaustion.  Going to his side, he slipped his arm around him. “I was worried about you. I don’t like seeing you this tired.”

 

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me...I can’t seem to get enough rest,” Yuuri murmured.

 

“I thought Mila could help...maybe I should have left things alone.”

 

“Mila...was fine.  She needed a place to stay and I’d rather room with her than Yakov.  And she gave me space quite often.”

 

He leaned in and kissed the top of Yuuri’s raven head.  “I want you to rest until dinner. I’m going to take Nina and Makkachin out for a walk.”

 

“Cocoa probably needs some time out as well,” Yuuri suggested.

 

Victor shook his head, knowing that Yuuri needed the younger dog’s presence at that moment.  “She’s fine for now. I’ll come up and switch dogs after a bit. I...want you to have her near.”

 

Yuuri nodded, eying the clean clothes on the dresser.  “I think I’ll shower first.”

 

“If you don’t like what you had on hand, I brought a few things in my luggage.  Just dig through.”

 

Victor led Makka and Nina out, his daughter looking back worriedly at the closed door.  “Is Chichi sick?”

 

“I think he’s just got a lot on his mind,” Victor said quietly.

 

She considered those words and added wisely, “And jetlag.”

 

Victor chuckled and nodded.  “Yuuri most definitely has jetlag.”

 

They took Makkachin to the park where they took turns tossing a frisbee.  Victor called a halt to the game when he saw her yawning. “Does someone else need a nap?”

 

Victor recognized what he referred to as  _ Nina’s thinking face _ .  Smiling he thought he caught a glimpse of what expression she would make as an adult.  “I think...Chichi needs a friend.”

 

“Let’s go back and you can cuddle up to Chichi while I take Cocoa out,” Victor offered.

 

Victor opened the door and could see Yuuri wrapped around the poodle, curled up on his side.  Cocoa looked up and waited for Victor’s signal before joining him. Yuuri shifted and Nina took the time to cuddle up to him.  Makkachin stretched out beside them keeping watch. With Cocoa’s leash in hand, he went downstairs.

 

* * *

  
  


The next day, they attended the awards ceremony.  Andrei was surprised he scored well enough to receive the silver cup.  As he joined Yuuri, he hugged him and proclaimed they had matching silvers.  Yuuri laughed softly, and answered, “Then we should set them next to each other on the display in the living room.”

 

As they walked to the Rover, now holding Andrei’s luggage along with the rest of the family’s, the teen studied the cup.  It was his first award to go on the rotating display which held the latest accomplishments of each family member.

 

They invited Lidiya to join them, and she informed them that she had taken enough road trips with young children.  She’ll stick to her plane ticket.

 

Finally, back home they spotted the chaos left behind by Yura as he left in a hurry.  Yuuri sighed and began gathering the trail when he felt Victor’s stilling hand.

 

“Let me take care of that,” he murmured.

 

Yuuri shook his head.  “You drove...and I’m fine.”

 

Victor recognized the determination in his husband’s voice, hearing the difference of his stubborn tone.  “Then I’m going to sort laundry and put the first load on. Nina, bring me your dirty clothes. Don’t forget the ones in your suitcase.”

 

“Can I help?” she asked bouncing on her toes.   _ Of course she has the most energy.  She slept the whole way home. _

 

Andrei scruffed her hair before heading into the kitchen and looking in the refrigerator.  “How about you help me make...sandwiches for dinner.”

 

They all agreed in hums and sighs.  Nina bounced down the hall and came back with a ball of laundry.  Victor began sorting. Since Andrei did his own laundry, he’d take care of his later.  Nina joined Andrei to assemble the sandwiches, the cutting and spreading taken care of.  Pulling down some sun chips, he added that to the tray, using paper towels as plates. Once water was poured, they all began gathering around the table.  Dinner conversation was slim and soon they trailed off to their own quiet spaces...Andrei in his room, headphones on, going through his luggage...Nina curled up with Potya giving her the attention she needed now they were home, Disney Channel Russia playing   _ As the Bell Rings _ in the background.  Yuuri curled up with Cocoa on the couch, his head resting in Victor’s lap, his husband playing with his hair with one hand and reading a book with the other.

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


Yuuri tugged at his sleeves until they covered his hands, nervous appendages sliding up his arms.  Still the chill persisted. He knew his color was off. Victor even had the team physician look at him.   _ Exhaustion _ .

 

Lilia now stood in the studio, and he shifted nervously under her gaze.  “I put too much on you,” she surmised.

 

“It’s fine.  You needed to get better,” Yuuri argued.

 

“No, it’s not fine.  You are not well. And I am better.  The younger ones liked your teaching style and I didn’t want to interrupt that process.”  The sharp eyes narrowed on him, “Are you sleeping at all?”

 

Yuuri gave a hesitant nod.  Her gaze sharpened and he felt the heat of her in his thoughts.  “I...sleep as often as I can. I just...don’t rest.”

 

“Have you been to see your psychiatrist?  Maybe it’s not something physical,” she suggested.

 

Yuuri began to fidget, shifting in place, “I go once a month.  There’s really not time…”

 

“Nonsense!”  Lilia’s voice boomed at him.  “You only need to ask. We’ll adjust.  An athlete that is unwell cannot perform.”

 

Yuuri took in a few shallow breaths, then quietly he began, “I don’t...want to worry everyone.”

 

Lilia crossed to him and took his hand in hers, “It seems the best way to achieve that is to take care of yourself.  Even little Nina is worried that you’re sick.”

 

His warm chocolate eyes blinked at her, “She is?”

 

“She tells me you are pale like when she is sick.”  Lilia cupped his cheek and could feel how cold his skin was.

 

He should have figured.  She’d been playing doctor lately and he’d been her number one patient.  The dogs and Potya had their turns as well. “I’ll...see if Dr. Abramovich can get me in this week,” Yuuri agreed.  

 

“Good...you’ve put a lot of hard work in...I’d hate to see it go to waste.”  She watched him shift back and forth and knew he was eager to be out from under her watchful gaze.  Sighing, she nodded. “You can go for now but I want to revisit your schedule.”

 

“Yes, Madame,” Yuuri agreed and practically hopped out of the room.

 

She sighed as her eyes followed him, worry knitting her brow.  It was quiet right now with Yura gone. Georgi would be in soon and she had a pairs skaters to work with later.  However, neither of them held her attention.

 

* * *

  
  


Victor watched Yuuri go through the motions of their chores after work gathering laundry, setting out dinner to prepare, picking up the living room.  “Maybe it’s time to give Nina more work.”

 

“She has to keep her room clean,” Yuuri tutted.

 

Victor rolled his eyes.   _ Yuuri still wasn’t listening _ .  “Yuuri, stop!”

 

The Japanese man turned, an arm full of things that belong in other rooms.  “What’s wrong?”

 

“I don’t know...and you aren’t telling me,” Victor stated carefully closing the space between them.

 

Yuuri backed up, keeping their distance, “I-I...don’t know.”

 

“I’m making an appointment with Dr. Abramovich,” Victor stated firmly.

 

Yuuri’s eyes dropped, pink moving up his cheeks.  “Madame Lilia already forced the issue. He’s meeting with me Tuesday...after I drop the kids off and you leave for the airport.”

 

Victor swayed a little, happy that Yuuri had the appointment, but disappointed that he would only admit to it this way.  “I’ll pick them up...unless Yura wants to. What else can I do?”

 

Yuuri shrugged.  “It’s...nervous energy.  I...don’t know what’s bothering me and I feel restless.”

 

“And your sleep?  Have you had more nightmares?”

 

Yuuri nodded slowly.  “Some...but I can’t remember anything about them.  It’s like I have trouble shaking it but when I do and finally wake up, they slip away from me.  I’ve...jotted down the number of times I’ve woke up from nightmares, but I have no details. It’s like a word on the tip of your tongue or a song where you have the tune playing in the back of your head but you can’t put your finger on it.”

 

Victor listened silently, letting Yuuri take his time with his words.  Then he offered, “Take your journal with you. Maybe Dr. Abramovich can get you into a guided meditation.”

 

Yuuri shivered but nodded.  He was afraid of those nightmares.  He was afraid to know about this stress that drummed up his spine.  “It’s probably just our crazy schedule,” he tried, not sure if he was aiming to convince Victor or himself.  The look Victor gave him told him he failed at both.

 

* * *

  
  


Tuesday arrived and Yuuri was no more settled.  And to complicate matters, they opened the door to snow.  The streets were already being cleared but they had to dig out their cars.  Victor groaned but was glad he put on the snow tires. Yuuri studied the surface checking to see if a layer of ice sat beneath it.  “Maybe I should cancel my appointment.”

 

Victor heard the tone in his husband’s voice.   _ Negotiator Yuuri _ was speaking and trying to worm his way out of this appointment.  “I’ll drop off Nina and Andrei. You take your time. It’s not like you haven’t driven in snow.”

 

Yuuri nodded, happy that the kids were going with Victor and his sure hand.  He watched Victor back out of the drive and disappear down the street then climbed into his own car.  Defrosted and warmed up, he put the car in gear, thankful for traction. The traffic seemed to be moving steadily, undeterred by the weather.

 

He had half an hour to spare when he pulled into the parking lot outside the clinic.  He sat staring at the door. A couple of other clients entered the building. He then started to shift the car into gear and pull out when a firm hand knocked on the window.  He jumped then spotted the grandfatherly Dr. Abramovich.

 

“I thought you’d need a little push this morning,” he greeted warmly as Yuuri hesitantly opened the door.  “Some days the cold sets into your joints and it’s just hard to get moving.” He looked past Yuuri and spotted the brown poodle curled up in the passenger seat.  “I see you brought your companion.”

 

Yuuri turned, surprised eyes not remembering loading her into the car.  His expression must have been telling because the psychiatrist placed a firm hand on his shoulder and invited, “Let’s get the two of you inside.  I’m sure there will be something warm and hot.”

 

Yuuri slushed after Dr. Abramovich, carrying Cocoa so she wouldn’t have to stand in the snow, a small drawstring backpack thrown over his shoulder.  Inside, Cocoa settled close to him as he began to unwind out of his winter clothes and take off his boots. The receptionist greeted him with a warm cup of coffee.

 

Yuuri trailed after the doctor who led him on into his office, the door closing behind them.  “Sit anywhere,” he invited as he began shuffling through his desk until he found what he was looking for.

 

Yuuri took the couch, curling his knees underneath him and inviting Cocoa to lie close to him.  “Everyone is worried about me,” he said softly as the doctor took a chair across from him.

 

“Are  _ you  _ worried about you?” he asked as he made some quick notes on Yuuri’s appearance and notable behaviors.

 

Yuuri shrugged then answered, “Maybe...a little.”

 

“Why don’t you tell me what’s been going on,” he invited.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Victor stood waiting for his passengers at the airport.  Yakov called him the previous night saying he didn’t want his maniac wife driving in the snow.  Victor laughed and said she was going to drive in it whether the old coach liked it or not. Then Yakov demanded he pick up Mila and himself along with Yura.  It made sense. No point in both him and Lilia enduring the airport traffic. Yakov left Victor with the task of convincing Lilia, which was surprisingly easy.

 

Finally, they arrived.  The first words out of Yura’s mouth were “How is Katsudon?”

 

Victor sighed and glanced to the other two.  “Been talking to Andrei,” he surmised.

 

The blonde pulled down his hoodie and scratched at his hair, “That and Mila roomed with him last round.”

 

The redhead shrugged.  “I just told him that Yuuri wasn’t sleeping very soundly and looked very tired.”

 

Victor nodded, it was the same from everyone interacting with his husband.  “That...about sums it up. I had him see the team physician. He’s in with Dr. Abramovich now.”

 

“He needs to let us help take up the slack.”  Yura pulled at his luggage, watching for Mila’s bag next.  “Before he left, I was gathering up laundry and he took it straight from my hands.”

 

“He says it’s nervous energy.  I want to know what’s causing it.”

 

“It’s been building since that riot,” Yura pointed out.

 

Victor nodded.  “I know. That’s what I’m worried about.”

 

“I don’t mind helping,” Yura pressed.  His green eyes spotted Mila’s bag coming down the conveyor.  He smirked at the  _ Hello Kitty  _ stickers covering it.

 

“Good...because I’m going to need you to keep an eye on him while I’m at Lake Placid next week.”

 

Yura handed over Mila’s bag, then turned back to Victor.  “Andrei and I will take care of things.”

 

“And don’t let him skip appointments.  He was trying to wriggle out of his appointment this morning.  Call Lilia if you need.”

 

The old coach grunted.  "She'll make him go."

  
  


* * *

  
  


Leaving the evening dishes to the boys, Victor dragged Yuuri outside for a walk in the snow and moonlight.  “I love this...the hush that fills the air during the snow.”

 

“Mmmm,” Yuuri agreed, leaning into Victor’s space.  The older man slipped an arm around his shoulders. Their free hands held onto the leashes as the dogs jumped and played in the snow.  

 

“How did your appointment go?” Victor pushed hoping Yuuri would let him in on what was going on.

 

“He...wants me to go back,” Yuuri murmured.  “At least once a week. How am I going to fit that in?”

 

“You talk to Yakov and Lilia and they rearrange your schedule.”  He turned Yuuri to look at him, dipping his head so their foreheads touched.  “You need this...time for just you. More than you are taking. Let the kids do more.  Let Yura do his part. Take some time to yourself. I know you need the quiet.”

 

Yuuri sniffed but nodded.  In his thoughts, however, he heard the counter to that statement.  _  The quiet hasn’t offered much solace lately. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you ready for the new release? I've written seven chapters in and I'm excited. I think it will be a short series for me. We shall see. These things have a way to grow.
> 
> Hint...there will be a baby involved.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri doesn't like to fight. Instead, he gets even. Victor at Skate America!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to both BluSkates and Magrathea for the edits!

* * *

 

Victor set his suitcases by the door.  He intended to fly out early the next morning for Lake Placid, New York.  Georgi would accompany him, and Yuuri had arranged for them to room together.  Victor smirked thinking of his husband’s arrangements, certain there was a little spite in that move.  At least Georgi wasn’t suffering from eternal heartbreak, at the moment.

 

Checking the time on his phone, he knew it would be a few more hours before Yuuri came home.  He called Dmitry and Ivan to check their plans for November 29th. “I know we will be doing something earlier at the orphanage.  That was Yuuri’s request. I just want to get him alone.”

 

“Yura can drive them over once you are finished and we’ll have a gaming party,” Dmytri reassured him.

 

“And if little Nina gets bored with all of us boys, Madame Lilia and Lidiya said to bring her up to the main house,” Ivan added.

 

“Thanks.  And guys...while I’m gone, help Yura keep an eye on Yuuri.”  He could hear the haggard tone in his voice, worried that his husband still hadn’t found his calm.  “He’s still very unsettled.”

 

“You know we’ve got you covered...but he just hasn’t been talking that much.  Quiet.” Ivan’s voice reflected the troubled feeling boiling under Victor’s skin.

 

Victor sighed.  He’d noticed. Yuuri had withdrawn, his contact and interaction with many of the other skaters was more to the point, all business.  “He’s not ready to open up...maybe not even himself.”

 

“Don’t worry, Vitya, we’ll watch out for him,” Dmitry said quietly.

 

* * *

  
  


**Skate America - November 24-26 - Lake Placid, New York**

 

Victor checked into his room and noted that Kenjirou Minami was across the hall.  The nervous Japanese skater shifted back and forth on his feet. He’d have to get past that if he wanted Victor to coach him next year.  “How are you holding up, Kenjirou?”

 

The blonde hair and red stripe still hadn’t changed, “I’m good.  I can’t believe I’m competing at this level.”

 

Victor smiled at the skater’s excitement.  “I’m sure Yuuri will be sad he missed you.”

 

The blond’s eyes went wide.  “Really?”

 

Victor laughed softly.  The boy’s hero-worship of his husband charmed Victor, there was nothing of the sycophant in him, just honest admiration. “You need to decide by July about whether or not you’re dorming with us or getting your own place.”

 

He nodded, chewing his lip.  “Things are awkward with Plisetsky.”

 

Victor sighed, keeping his smile neutral.  The boy’s awkward and unreciprocated declaration had unsettled his household over the summer.  Yura throwing impatient hands up declaring things were going to be weird now. He continued his rant about how it was common knowledge he was with Otabek.  Yuuri wasn’t any help when he said that Kenjirou confessed to him once, too.

 

“I guess...good night?” the blond muttered before ducking into his room.  Victor stared at the closed door. Maybe things will settle out by summer.  Maybe Minami will find someone new to crush on?

 

Georgi was already texting back and forth with his girlfriend.  “Svetta is really just the most wonderful woman alive,” he crooned.

 

Victor forced a smile even as his thoughts went to  _ I’ll get you for this, Yuuri! _  It was a welcomed change.  As a younger skater, Victor was often made to room with Georgi as punishment for annoying Yakov and in those days it was all mooning and sobbing.

 

Pulling out his phone, he finally checked his own messages.

 

**Yura/ Katsudon just walked out of the house.**

 

**Yura/ He took Cocoa but he didn’t say a word.**

 

**Yura/ He’s not responding to my text messages.**

 

**Yura/ He’s back now.  Andrei says I overreacted.  He’s just weird.**

 

**Yuuri/ I’m fine.  The kids were all picking at each other and I needed a moment of peace.  I guess I closed the door a little hard because they’ve been tiptoeing around me ever since.**

 

**Andrei/ It’s okay.  Really. Yura freaked out because Yuuri didn’t say anything.**

 

**Nina/ Chichi said I can sleep in your spot while you’re gone.**

 

Victor processed the onslaught of messages before he chose where to respond.  Settling on the source, he contacted his husband.

 

**Victor/ I leave and all hell breaks out.**

 

**Yuuri/ Ikr!  What’s their deal?**

 

**Victor/ Drag their asses to the studio and put them through the paces.  It’ll exhaust them.**

 

**Yuuri/ Heh!  Do you think they could keep up?**

 

**Victor/ Yura has already tried and failed.  And he’s a seasoned athlete.**

 

**Yuuri/ I’ll keep that in mind.**

 

**Victor/ Guess who’s across the hall!**

 

**Yuuri/ I give...you tell me.**

 

**Victor/ Minami.  He’s all awkward.  Do you think he still wants us to coach him?**

 

**Yuuri/ He definitely wants to work with us.  He’s just embarrassed. Yura has been very lowkey about it.**

 

**Victor/ So only we got to experience his drama.**

 

**Yuuri/ He’s fun like that.**

 

A knock interrupted his messages and Victor sighed.  

 

**Victor/ Yakov is here.  Message me if you need (or want) me.**

 

**Yuuri/ And just what could you do for me from there?**

 

**Victor/ Talk dirty to you.**

 

**Yuuri/ (snort) You’re rooming with Georgi.**

 

**Victor/ Whose fault is that?**

 

**Yuuri/ I think you know whose fault it is.**

 

Victor huffed as Georgi opened the door and let their coach in.  Victor took a moment and realized he hadn’t really studied Yakov in some time.  The old coach looked worn out as well. These last few years had been hard on all of them, but Lilia’s health had Yakov’s age catching up with him.

 

“Are you ready?” he asked Victor gruffly.

 

Victor jumped up realizing he was still stretched out across his bed.  “Of course!  Just texting with my Yuuri.”

 

Yakov’s face softened, “He doing okay?”

 

“He...walked out on the kids fighting and took some time to himself.”  Victor toyed with his phone, looking at his coach, realizing that he needed Yakov for more than skating advice these days.   _ When did this happen? _  “I think that’s healthy?”

 

Yakov smiled, “A long walk has been known to save my marriage more than once.  Respect the walk, boy.”

 

“He wasn’t mad at me!” Victor defended.

 

Yakov glanced towards Georgi then nodded sharply.  “If you say so.”

 

They bumped into Chris on the way down.  “Hey!  How’s it going?”

 

Victor shrugged.  “I’ll stop by later and we can talk.”

 

“We all know Yuuri is going through something,” Georgi pointed out.

 

Victor side-eyed Georgi before responding, “Perhaps I want to discuss more...private matters.”

 

* * *

  
  


Victor stretched dramatically across the bed.  “I can’t believe Yuuri set me up to room with Georgi!”

 

Chris chuckled.  “You set him up with Mila.  Sounds fair to me.”

 

“I was worried about Yuuri waking up alone.  He’s...carrying a lot of anxiety under his skin.”

 

Chris sat on the corner of the bed and swatted Victor’s foot, “So you’ve said.”  Turning his voice softer he took a more serious approach, “What I find more alarming is he’s not said anything to Phichit.”

 

Victor looked up in surprise.  “He hasn’t?  I just...assumed.”  He flicked his eyes downward as he considered the implications.  “He’s hiding his withdrawal.”

 

“Phichit says he’ll do that...especially during competition season.  It would drive their coach nuts.”

 

“I don’t think this is just competition stress,” Victor stated quietly.

 

Chris studied his friend, concerned for not only Yuuri but Victor and their children as well, “I don’t either...it’s getting close to the anniversary when it happened.”

 

Victor nodded, his eyes flicking up to see Chris.  Running his hands through his hair, he sighed heavily.  “I just want to keep him safe, to make him feel secure. And every time we start making strides…”  He closed his mouth then opened it again. “It’s the prison riot.  He started going downhill after the riot.”

 

Chris moved to sit next to Victor and asked quietly, “Is he seeing his counselor?”

 

“He’s back on weekly appointments, checking in with one of us so he doesn’t back out.”

 

“Why would he back out?” Chris asked, his voice rising in concern.

 

Victor huffed, glad he can let his own frustration out safely with Chris.  “I think...he’s afraid of what he’s going to find when he starts digging around inside himself.”

 

“But...haven’t you both been through this?  Shouldn’t this just be a maintenance thing?”

 

Victor considered that, Yuuri had talked about the rape, had gone through the therapy.  He knew it wasn’t as simple as putting it on the shelf, but there did seem to be something deeper going on.  “I...don’t know.  I just know he’s unsettled and nothing I do seems to fully put him at ease.”

 

Chris ran his fingers through his curls.  “Phichit’s not going to be happy.  The kitten told us some of what’s been going on when we were in France for Phichit’s competition.”

 

“I should have retired last year and focused on Yuuri and my family this year,” Victor determined.

 

Chris raised a well sculpted eyebrow... _ much better than Chris can do _ , Victor mused.   _ Must be Phichit’s handiwork. _

 

“I know...it’s stupid.  Yuuri made a similar statement about retiring and I had the same reaction.  I’m just...frustrated. I don’t know how to make it better.”

 

“Well, just know Phichit and I are here for you.”  He then rolled onto his side and asked, “Now how are my niece and nephew?”

 

Victor grinned.  “Nina is as precious as ever.”  He then lost his smile as he added, “She’s been checking Yuuri’s temp and is convinced he must be sick because he’s so pale.”

 

“And Andrei,” Chris nudged gently.

 

“He...is scared of growing up, of moving away from his family.  And...I don’t want to rush him but I don’t want to hold him back, either.”

 

Chris nodded taking in Victor’s words then asked the final question.  “How...are you, Vitya?”

 

Victor’s eyes closed then squeezed together, and then the tears released from the corner.  And the next thing he knew he was shaking, folded over in Chris’ arms, and Chris wasn’t shushing him, just smoothing his hair while he worked through his emotions.  He finally cleared his breathing and wiped away his tears. “I’m sorry, Chris.  I guess I’m a bit of a mess.”

 

“It’s okay, Vitya...I was there.  Remember?  We found him together.”

 

Victor nodded slowly.  “I...want to think it’s over.  And most of the time, it feels like it is.  But lately, it’s like we’ve taken several steps back.  Yuuri...he’s not talking about it.  It’s like a part of him is closed off to me.  And I don’t think he wants it to be.  I just can’t...break through.”  Victor fell silent for a moment, thinking of his husband locked deep within himself, hoping that Victor will reach out for him as he had done a year ago, pulling him from the darkness.  “I try...to relieve the stress, to make him safe, to...listen.  To hold him.  To…encourage him.” 

 

After a few moments of silence, Chris asked him softly, “What have you done for yourself?”

 

Victor didn’t answer at first and then he laughed a teary laugh.  “I’m just as bad.  I’m so busy taking care of everyone else, helping with the coaching, mentoring, being Dad, being husband...I...smile.”

 

Chris sighed and held his eyes.  “I’ve seen that smile...and anyone that knows you will know it’s not a true smile.”

 

“Yuuri can’t have any more worries.”

 

“I promise you...he already has that one.  He’s already realized you are wearing a mask.”

 

Victor considered those words for some time before answering, “Maybe...I need to talk to the counselor as well.”

 

“I think that’s a good next step, my friend.”

 

* * *

  
  


The vibration pulled him further awake and Victor rolled over in bed to pick up his phone.  He smiled at the familiar name.  Answering, he asked, his voice still thick with sleep, “Why aren’t you sleeping?”

 

A soft chuckle went across the air.  “I’ve got a bed full.  And you?  Did I wake you?”

 

“I...was in the process of waking up.  Georgi’s already gone down to grab breakfast.”

 

Yuuri’s voice was soft down the line, “You need to eat, too.  You skate today.”

 

“I know.  He’s bringing me up a bagel and coffee.  Maybe some of that cream cheese and jam.”

 

Yuuri’s soft chuckle warmed Victor, “Glad to know you’re eating healthy while away.”

 

“So...full bed?”

 

“It started with Nina who’s slept here every night.  Then I gained the dogs.  Followed by Andrei.  And finally, Yura and Potya.  Yura on the guise that he was making sure I don’t freak out.”

 

“Why would you freak out?” Victor asked, his forehead wrinkling in confusion.

 

Yuuri paused for a moment before answering, “There’s a little winter storm.”

 

Victor sat up in bed, the sleep leaving him instantly, “Are you...okay?”

 

“I’m fine.  I’ve got a bed full of family looking out for me.”  He hesitated then laughed softly. “All with their eyes closed.  But I’d have to do some acrobatics to get out of bed without waking someone.”

 

“I’m sorry I’m not there,” Victor murmured.  “I’d hold you and send the others back to bed.”

 

“You’d be as bad as the others and if you thought even one bit they were scared, you’d have them all in bed with us.”

 

Victor chuckled.  His husband knew him well.

 

The door knob rattled and Victor sighed.  “Georgi’s back.  He’s cried every night, you know.  I hear a litany of how much he misses his Svetta.”

 

“He’s in love.  Let him have this,” Yuuri teased.

 

The door opened and Georgi called out, “I brought you a bagel!”

 

Victor waved his phone.  “Yuuri.”

 

“Oh, hi, Yuuri,” he called out.

 

Yuuri laughed warmly.  “Hi, Georgi.” Returning his attention to Victor, he added, “You should eat.  I just wanted to hear your voice.”

 

“I didn’t realize how much I missed yours.  Good night,  _ solnyshko _ .”

 

* * *

  
  
  


Victor watched Kenjirou’s short program critically, noting the height of his jumps, the slack in his edges.  Japanese skating did teach shallow tight jumping, which had both it’s advantages but severe disadvantages.  Kenjirou’s quad Salchow was downgraded unfairly.  He’d have to work with the younger skater, but Victor already started building a training regimen.  With his phone, he quickly tapped in some notes when he felt someone step behind him.  “Already going into Coach Mode?”

 

Victor looked up at Chris and grinned.  “You’re going to ease into it with one student.  I’ve already got five lined up.  Unless you want to join us?”

 

“Not until you get that training rink built,” Chris taunted back.

 

Victor had considered what they planned to take on and already discussed the possibility with Chris.  With the triplets, he actually had eight students who wanted to sign with them.  And when Yakov retired,  _ if he retired _ , they had a potential for two more.  “The excavation has already begun but...it’s not ready yet.”

 

“When you’ve built it, we’ll talk,” Chris promised.  Could the town of Hasetsu handle the four of them full time?  They may find out.  Regardless, it will bring work to the town and revive it.

 

They watched with a wince as Georgi took a dramatic fall.  “He’s going to feel that for several days,” Victor muttered.  Chris could only nod in agreement.

 

Leo charmed the crowd with his easy going  [ music ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_aVFVveJNs) and flare.  He just needed to bring his technical scores up a bit more but there was no denying his ability to please the crowd.

 

Then it was Chris’ turn as he teased the audience with  [ Candyman ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8vfY1Y369OE) . 

 

Victor laughed as he prepared to perform  _ The Last Unicorn _ .  A text startled him just as he was about to hand his phone over to Yakov.

 

**Nina/ Skate for me, Papa.**

 

**Victor/ This one’s just for you, Ninochka.**

 

Victor handed the phone over with a shrug to his disapproving coach before taking the ice.  The soulful first notes pulled him into the story and the world he built on the ice with his daughter in mind.  They had just finished the book for the fourth time two days before Victor left.  Now he took the unicorn’s journey remembering his own journey as a figure skater.  Melding the two stories together, he embraced the moment when he became the king of this ice (or some would say queen) and had become an icon for figure skating.  Would it be the same after he left?  He had Yuuri and Yura following after him, but they were their own beasts, claiming the ice in their own way.  His smile slipped and held bittersweet notes but with the music, it was appropriate.  He was, afterall, the last unicorn.

 

He finished in first place for the first day of skating.  By the second day, he was ready to be home with his family, with his Yuuri.  And maybe that’s why his Cher slipped a little to Chris’ _Lady Marmalade_.  He barely snatched the gold from the Swiss man’s grasp.

 

* * *

  
  
  


Victor arrived in St. Petersburg and as he cleared customs, he spotted his family.  They were all there including dogs.  Yuuri must have driven the Rover.  Victor grinned at that, knowing Yuuri preferred the smaller hybrid he drove.  Nina launched herself at him and he scooped her out of the air and she was talking so fast he only caught bits and pieces about how she missed him, visiting the orphanage, and how they were going to buy coats for her old friends for Chichi’s birthday.

 

As Victor shifted his daughter in his arms, he reached for his Yuuri and felt the slighter body relax against him.  “It’s getting harder and harder to be away from you,” Victor admitted softly.

 

“I feel the same.  Let’s travel together for the rest of these competitions.”

 

“And let the kids stay with Lidiya and Lilia?” Victor asked with raised eyebrows.

 

Yuuri nodded firmly, “I think they can handle them.  I just need my husband and I’m going to be selfish in this.”  They both knew Nationals would be impossible but for the rest, they can hold onto one another.

 

Behind Yuuri, Victor spotted two boys rolling their eyes and in his arm, he felt Nina squirm.  They needed to head home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our Wednesday episode of As the World Turns! ;) I hope you are enjoying this.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday, Yuuri! Or is it...some struggles reveal itself over the coming days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know! You are think...this is supposed to be an L&F day. Well, I switched because I sorta handed over my chapter yesterday for edits. So, I'll keep shifting if needed to give Blu and Mags a chance to get to them...I did hand over around five. (NOTE: If I don't get myself together, the same could happen with this one.) And thanks to BluSkates and Magrathea for the edits, this one is ready!

* * *

 

 

**November 29 - Yuuri’s birthday**

 

As decreed, the family joined Yuuri for an act of service...this year determined to support the orphanage once more.  Lev met them at the store with the schoolbus and the children were asked to pick one coat good and warm, a pair of winter shoes, gloves, and a hat.  Ten children then fanned out in pairs, the store clerks jumping on board with the plan and helping them find what they needed. Once they were ready for winter, the children surprised Yuuri as they all lined up and hugged him on the way to the bus.

 

“They really appreciate the two of you,” Lev stated quietly.  “You give them home.”

 

Yuuri leaned against Victor and sighed.  “If I could, I’d take them all home.”

 

“We all have our limits,” Lev pointed out.  “You overfill your plate, you’ll only do mediocre work.  Do your best by these two kids and you will have done a lot.”

 

Waving at the family, he climbed on board the bus and drove the children home.

 

“Now...it’s family birthday time,” Victor announced.

 

“You really didn’t have to do anything,” Yuuri reminded them.  “This was what I wanted.”

 

“And this is what we want,” Yura declared.  “Come on, Katsudon. You don’t want to disappoint little Nina.”  As if on cue, Nina pulled a long sad face with big puppy dog eyes.

 

Yuuri laughed.  “That’s a dirty trick, you know.”

 

“We use it sparingly,” Andrei promised.  “We don’t want it to lose its potency.”

 

Victor drove them to their house where the kids all disappeared to their respective rooms.  Yuuri took that moment to snuggle up in his husband’s arms. One by one they reappeared with a gift and a bag slung over their shoulder.

 

Yuuri looked at them curiously and Yura explained.  “We’re going to go hang out with Ivan and Dmitry after we give you your presents.”

 

“You have to open them first,” Nina said solemnly.

 

“I promise.”  The first gift came from Nina who was waiting eagerly.  He opened the carefully wrapped rectangle that told her she had help with it and he suspected Svette.  Inside, he found a  [ snowflake ornament ](https://livingwellmom.com/salt-crystal-snowflakes/) she made in class.  He smiled at his daughter and whispered, “It’s beautiful.”

 

She squeezed her shoulders together happily before running to give him a hug, Yuuri barely had time to hand the gift to Victor before being enveloped by the tiny girl who was growing surprisingly strong.  “I love you, Chichi!”

 

He kissed her hair and fought back the sniff as he replied softly, “I love you, too, Nina.”

 

The gift from Andrei surprised him.  A sprig of cherry blossoms fashioned out of sheet music.  Andrei blushed as he explained, “The music was from the song I played for you.”

 

“Oh, Andrei!”  Yuuri seriously was crying now as he hugged his son close.  “I’ll put this in a safe place.”

 

“It has a clip...you know, in case you wanted to wear it in your hair sometime.”

 

Yuuri smiled as he studied it.  “So it does.”

 

Yura handed him a card.  “It doesn’t look like much but I made dinner if idiot doesn’t mess it up while reheating it.”

 

Yuuri chuckled through his tears.  “I love the way you cook, Yura. Thank you.”  He started to open the card and Yura stopped him.

 

“Don’t read it now!”

 

Yuuri held the green eyes, blazing in sincere embarrassment, then nodded.  “I’ll read it in private.” The boy was fiercely affectionate but even more fierce in his protection of that.

 

As they lined up by the door, Yura turned and asked, “Are we taking the soccer mom van or the car?”

 

Victor decided for them.  “I’d rather you take the Rover in case there is some slickness.  Be careful and text to let us know you made it alright.”

 

“Yeah, yeah, MOM!” Yura nagged back with a roll of the eyes.

 

As they walked out the door, they heard Victor respond, “Did you hear that?  He called me Mom!”

 

* * *

  
  


Yuuri changed into something more comfortable as Victor added the finishing touches to their dinner.  As he walked into the kitchen and slipped behind his husband, Victor leaned back into his embrace.

 

“Are those my pajamas?”

 

“Mmmmhmmm...and sweater.  I can’t shake the chill.” He leaned in, though, and whispered.  “I have something else underneath if you want to warm me up later.”

 

Victor’s grin became salacious as he considered the possibilities.  “Oh, that’s a promise.” He pulled the foil packets out of the oven and opened them up to reveal the  [ Asian salmon ](https://damndelicious.net/2014/12/19/asian-salmon-foil/) Yura had put together for them.

 

“I’m so glad he’s moving with us to Japan,” Yuuri hummed as he breathed in the scent.  “If I can’t have Mom’s cooking, then let me have Yura’s.”

 

“I had planned to cook for you but he asked me if I minded,” Victor said thoughtfully as he worked a bite loose with is fork.  “I’m glad I agreed. I didn’t expect salmon.”

 

“Me, neither.”  He broke loose a bite and dipped it in the sauce.

 

“He just put it together and told me how to cook it and that if I screwed it up, he’d kick my ass.”

 

“You did good, honey.”  Then his eyes closed as he enjoyed the next bite.  “That’s what I’m tasting. There’s honey in this.”

 

They never made it to the table, enjoying their meals directly out of the foil, Victor moving the candles to the bar and pouring wine.

 

Moving the party to the bedroom, Victor set his wine glass on the dresser and began to undress.  Yuuri sipped his wine, watching Victor’s movements and by Yuuri’s blush, he knew his husband could feel some of the effects of the wine, relaxing him, and Victor had to admit he was happy for it.  It had been awhile since they had made love. Stripped down to his black, bikini cut underwear, Victor waited for Yuuri.

 

Yuuri’s eyes became determined as he fumbled trying to find a place to set his glass but once he restored his balance he reached for the hem of the sweater and pulled it over his head in one movement.  Victor’s eyes gasped at the sight of the lace tank clinging to him in the way only spandex knew. Standing, Yuuri pulled the string to pair of Victor’s pajama bottoms he was wearing and let gravity do its job, the pants pooling around Yuuri’s feet.  Victor took in the vision of his husband.  _ More lace.  So much lace.  Panties.  _ [ _ Stockings _ ](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/61yPbOM2FWL._SY355_.jpg) .  And Victor didn’t realize the possessive rumble that came from him until Yuuri raised an eyebrow.  Kicking out of the pants, he turned and crawled across the bed, ass in air, looking over his shoulder and asking, “Are you coming?”

 

“Not...yet…not before you...” Victor answered as he enjoyed the sight and then blushed as he saw Yuuri’s smirk.   _ God, we needed this _ .  As Yuuri settled, Victor moved to follow him watching those beautiful legs part for his.  His hand caught Yuuri’s foot at the arch and slid with a massaging motion all the way up his leg.  Yuuri leaned forward as he hovered over him and captured his lips with a kiss.

 

“I got you a present,” Victor whispered.  He reached to the bedside table and pulled a small black box out of hiding.  Handing it to Yuuri, he popped open the lid to reveal a pair of ruby  [ earrings ](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/shopping?q=tbn:ANd9GcT45MqkwjpTAPtOzAv6xmgYTt6uhePamKXXkcRN5fi3L0uwfeCXQej8z0A8dtm7RJGJVRIUq1-RxvOEV8LfBz_z4lHKLXLwJO1YYZdvLBg3CO-Ihzrq9GeJ&usqp=CAc) .  “I always love seeing you in red.”

 

Yuuri took the box from his husband’s hand, his eyes glistening.  Then fingers moved in a flurry to take out the sapphire ones he wore.  Handing them to Victor, he added in the rubies securing their posts. Victor put the discarded earrings into the box and set it back on the nightstand.

 

“Beautiful,” he murmured, reaching up to caress Yuuri’s cheek.

 

“Thank you,” Yuuri whispered leaning forward to kiss him, his mouth opening to invite Victor in further.  “I...need you, Vitya. In me.”

 

“Let me work you open, baby.  It’s been awhile.” Victor trailed kisses down Yuuri’s chin and neck, fingers working the lace top up his husband’s chest.  Bending down, he teased Yuuri’s nipple with his tongue and chuckled into Yuuri’s skin as his husband moaned, clutching Victor’s head close.  Victor sucked and teased, nipping the surrounding skin and enjoying Yuuri’s cries and moans, feeling the younger man relax and let loose in the empty house.

 

“Vitya...need more,” Yuuri begged even as he gave a gentle push downward.

 

Victor hummed knowing precisely what Yuuri was seeking before dipping down and mouthing Yuuri’s length through his panties, the lace giving an interesting texture to his tongue.  A soft whine slipped from Yuuri’s lips and his husband began pushing at the panties, wanting more contact. Victor settled Yuuri then reached for the black lace, easing it down Yuuri’s hips and over the stockings before slipping them off of him.  He held Yuuri’s eyes as he reached for his own briefs.

 

“Vitya…” Yuuri whined reaching for him, his eyes going wide, his breathing hitching.

 

Victor knew he could see him, but without glasses he was a silvery blur.  He quickly discarded his underwear and crawled up the bed. “I’m here, my Yuuri.  I’m here.” Yuuri’s hands were reaching for him and Victor quickly took his lover’s hands and felt them squeeze back.  “I’m here,” he whispered.

 

He eased Yuuri back, settling him through touch and whispers and waited for Yuuri to open back up.  “I’m sorry,” he murmured.

 

“You never have to be sorry with me, Yuuri.  Just find your center,” Victor reassured him, his fingers sliding into Yuuri’s hair.

 

Yuuri breathed in and out several times before whispering, “You’re my center.  That’s why I couldn’t come out of the darkness without you.”

 

Victor watched his lover’s face, “Yuuri, I hate that we’re apart so much.”

 

Yuuri hummed, feeling his arousal begin to return, he nodded, beginning to fall breathless. “Just...one more trip.”

 

Victor held Yuuri’s brown eyes.  They knew it wasn’t true. Even after retirement, Victor would be called away for coaching duties with his students but at least Yuuri would be stable in the safety of Hasetsu.

 

“Touch me,” Yuuri urged taking Victor’s hand and guiding it down his body.

 

Victor nodded, his hand moving down, exploring, holding Yuuri’s eyes and watching for more signs of panic.

 

“I’m okay now,” Yuuri whispered.

 

Victor wasn’t so sure but he leaned in and kissed Yuuri.  Maybe a temporary reprieve. He reached down and gave a tentative stroke along Yuuri’s length and felt the smaller body arch into him.  Yuuri’s lips parted as his head fell back into the pillow, his pleasure building once more. Victor’s concern held him back, his eyes studying his Yuuri, making sure he was okay.

 

“Vitya…” Yuuri begged.  “Inside me. Make love to me.”

 

“Yuuri...I…”

 

“Please…”  Yuuri’s voice was husky in his need.

 

Victor reached for the lube and squirted it on his hand.  Watching Yuuri’s eyes, he began to work Yuuri open, Yuuri’s entrance relaxing to his touch encouraging Victor to relax as well.  Glancing down between his legs, he knew he wasn’t there yet. “I’m going to take it slow, Yuuri. Be patient with me.”

 

Yuuri moaned as Victor slipped a second finger into him, his clean hand going down to stroke himself.  By his third finger, Victor felt himself relaxing and working past half hard. By the fourth, he was ready, which was good because Yuuri was a mess in his hand, his words a mix of Japanese, English, and Russian as he begged for Vitya.

 

Victor removed his hand and heard the pout of protest, Yuuri’s mind not putting it together with the next step.  Victor wiped of his hand on a towel and moved up Yuuri’s body. Yuuri reached for him and pulled him into a kiss as Victor lined up and began moving into Yuuri in slowly increasing strokes.

 

“Yeeesssss,” Yuuri moaned, his hands tangling into Victor’s hair.  Yuuri’s cries became louder as Victor moved deeper, Yuuri’s legs wrapped around him, Victor’s lips tracing hot kisses down his collar bone.  Yuuri gave all of the auditory cues, his breathing quickening, his moans becoming higher pitched, his cries for Victor becoming more frequent.  Then Yuuri’s hands tightened on Victor’s back.

 

Victor’s eyes widened as he felt the warmth releasing between him, the waves of Yuuri’s orgasm vibrating along his own length.  He closed his eyes and focused on the unfurling pleasure in his depths, stroking hard and sure until he held Yuuri tight on him, releasing hard.

 

Yuuri held onto him then curled into him as Victor came down from his orgasm, eyes watching him, waiting.  As Victor pulled back, Yuuri tightened his arms around him and whispered, “Cold.”

 

“Let me put a blanket over you while I get a cloth to clean you up.  Okay?”

 

Yuuri hesitantly nodded.  As he slowly released his husband, Victor turned Yuuri on his side and pulled the sheet and comforter over him.  

 

Victor studied Yuuri a moment before slipping into the bathroom.  His own clean up was quick. With a warm cloth, he returned and pulled back the covers.  Yuuri trembled but stayed still, letting Victor move him as needed, wiping down his body, cleaning him up.  Putting the cloth aside, he asked Yuuri, “Do you want pajamas?”

 

Yuuri hesitantly nodded and let Victor assist him, removing the stalkings and top.  Soon cotton replaced the silk and lace, Victor not bothering with underwear. He added a pair of flannel sleep pants himself before pulling Yuuri into his arms.  Yuuri grew still and Victor thought Yuuri was asleep at first. He closed his own eyes, thinking about the evening and the panic in the middle of their lovemaking.

 

“I didn’t mean to,” Yuuri whispered.

 

“What didn’t you mean to do?” Victor asked softly.

 

“I...was afraid.  I couldn’t feel you, I couldn’t see you.  I...disconnected. I couldn’t keep track of where I was.”

 

Victor tightened his arms.  “I know, Yuuri. That’s why I wanted to make sure you were grounded before I move forward.  You don’t need to apologize.”

 

Yuuri curled further into his arms, rubbing his face against Victor’s shoulder, “I want to be with you...but sometimes, I don’t feel like I’m all here.”

 

Victor frowned at the confession thinking about all of their months of therapy.  “Are you dissociating?”

 

Yuuri nodded.  “It’s happening more and more.”

 

Victor rubbed a hand over Yuuri’s hair, “Does Abramovich know?”

 

Yuuri nodded.  “I didn’t realize it at first.  I...don’t want to go backwards. I was doing so well.  I thought...if I didn’t say anything, it would go away.”

 

_ You know that’s not how it works _ , he thought.  But he wanted to reassure Yuuri.  “We’ll deal with this, Yuuri. But I will not make love to you unless I know you’re all there.  Your consent is everything to me.”

 

Yuuri tightened his arms around Victor.  “Thank you. I know.” Yuuri burrowed into his chest, it wasn’t long before Cocoa stretched out behind him.  Makkachin curled up by his feet. And for awhile, Yuuri slept soundly.

 

* * *

  
  


Thursday dawned and Victor let Yuuri sleep in a little.  He took the dogs out and started to assemble their lunch.  He looked up startled as Andrei ran through the door. “I forgot one of my books,” he explained as he ran down the hall.  Stepping outside, he could see Yura waiting impatiently.

 

“How did it go last night?” Victor asked.

 

The blond rolled his eyes.  “I kicked Ivan’s ass but Dmitry came back for vengeance.”

 

Nina escaped her seatbelt and leaned through the middle.  “Where’s Chichi?”

 

Victor laughed warmly.  “Still sleeping, Moppet.”

 

She sighed and murmured, “He sleeps a lot.”

 

Victor forced a smile but in his thoughts he echoed  _ I know _ .  After the kids pulled out, he went back inside and considered what he needed to do.  He called Abramovich’s message service and asked if he had any openings for Friday. For the two of them.  It was short notice but sometimes the doctor kept a few openings on the weekend just in case.

 

Yuuri came into the kitchen as Victor started breakfast.  “I can do that,” he offered.

 

Victor looked up with a smile and answered, “I have this under control.  Why don’t you lay out your clothes for your shower?”

 

“Have you had yours yet?” Yuuri asked...and as Victor shook his head slowly, he added, “You should join me for mine.”

 

“That sounds like a great way to start the day,” Victor responded cheerily.  “Breakfast first, though.

 

Soon Yuuri returned from the bedroom even as he was spooning rice and eggs onto a plate with some sauteed peppers, sausage, and onions on the side.  Yuuri studied the plate looking overwhelmed and Victor wondered,  _ how long has this been happening?  _  Out loud, he said, “I may have overcooked.  I woke up starving.”

 

Yuuri breathed a little easier on the rescue but Victor watched him move food around on his plate.  He did manage to get down the eggs and rice and a couple of bites of the other before pushing his plate back.  Victor finished his off and rinsed out the dishes. He met Yuuri in the bathroom, the younger man already stripped down and as Victor’s fingers slid down his side, Yuuri turned, holding him close.

  
Victor realized as his hands explored that he hadn’t thought about the weight loss because of their training but now he wondered subconsciously where he was weighing in at.  He made a mental note to ask Yakov to avoid the starting a fight when Yuuri was feeling more amorous. Victor he followed Yuuri into the shower.

 

Kisses and soap and shampoo were a good mix with solid strokes.  Bodies clean, Victor found himself on his knees before Yuuri sucking him off, Yuuri’s fingers stroking through his hair, Yuuri’s body releasing his tension as he came.  

 

Yuuri went to follow suit but Victor murmured, “later...we’ll be late,” pulling him to his feet.  Yuuri looked a little disappointed but followed Victor out of the shower. How could Victor explain that his worry for Yuuri kept him from being ready?  He almost failed to be ready last night.

 

They dressed, not talking much and Victor worried he’d made Yuuri mad but then he could see his husband’s thoughts were more inward.  Victor frowned.  _ Be mad at me, Yuuri, not yourself.  I can handle it. _

 

The drive to the rink was quiet, Yuuri focusing on traffic, Victor messing with the radio until he received a glare from Yuuri before he settled on a classical station.  At the rink, they separated, presumably to attend to their own training but Victor knew Yuuri couldn’t wait to get away from him. The younger man was white knuckling today.  As Dmitry and Ivan threw their arms around him, asking in a teasing voice, “How’d it go last night?”

 

Victor smiled and could honestly answer, “It went well.”

 

They went off and Victor sought out Yakov.  The old man was in his office on the phone with the Figure Skating Federation of Russia.  He waved Victor to a chair and continued his yelling. He finally hung up with a huff.

 

“Is everything okay?” Victor asked hesitantly.

 

Yakov hesitated then answered, “There’s talk...and I don’t want to alarm anyone unnecessarily...but they may be banning Russia from the Olympics.”

 

Victor gasped.  He’d heard about the track team but Yakov kept things clean with his athletes.  “We’ve worked so hard!”

 

“I know...and I don’t want you to say anything until it’s official.  Maybe we can still come out of this.”

 

Victor nodded and started to get up and leave when Yakov stopped him.  “You didn’t come in here for this...what did you need?”

 

Victor started, remembering his question.  “I...wanted to know what’s been going on with Yuuri’s weigh-ins.”

 

Yakov frowned once more, pulling out the chart from his file cabinet.  He always did what he could on paper, not a fan of computers. Handing it over to Victor, the younger man’s eyes studied the figure.  A steady but not dangerous decline.

 

“I’ve talked to him about it and told him if he dips below the line, he’s benched,” Yakov stated, pointing at the line.  Yuuri had already dipped below the ideal of 60 kg. Just barely. He wasn’t down to the line. “I’d like to see him back up to his ideal range.”

 

Victor nodded as he considered Yuuri’s eating habits.  “He’s been hiding it. It just clicked this morning.”

 

Yakov took the file back and leveled a look at Victor, “I don’t think it’s an eating disorder.  His previous coach warned me, though, that he handled stress in extremes. He’d either stop eating or overeat.  When we went to competitions, I monitored what he was eating as much as possible without being obvious. So in a way it’s disordered eating, but the real problem is how he reacts to stress.”

 

Victor nodded, “I’ll watch him at home but we may have to get him in to see the nutritionist.”

 

“It couldn’t hurt.  I’ll make the arrangements,” the old coach agreed.

  
  


* * *

 

 

That night, everyone was finishing dinner and Victor would normally be responsible for getting Nina through her bedtime routine when he was home.  However, that night, he suggested, “Why don’t you go read to Nina? She was asking about you this morning. I’ll take care of clearing the table and doing the dishes.”

 

Yuuri hesitated but then nodded, pushing back his chair and following their daughter down the hall.  Yura had caught on that something was up and hung close, covering his choice by helping Victor gather the dishes.  Victor moved around to Yuuri’s place and pulled the napkin from the plate. Maybe a few bites but most of it had been pushed around.  With them coming and going so much, he missed this. He lifted his eyes to meet Yura’s. “I’ve got us an appointment in the morning.”

 

Yura’s green eyes looked at the plate, with the meal still on it.  “Good. How is he not banned from the ice?”

 

Victor raised his eyebrows, “He’s still in safe weight ranges.”

 

“I remember you getting banned.  We were all shocked.” Yura moved to the sink, taking a few plates with him.

 

Victor shrugged, “It was stupid on my part.  I was trying to do whatever I could to get an edge that year.  I wanted to break my silver streak. Yakov made it clear that that wasn’t the route.”

 

Yura turned from the sink, “Is that what this is about?”

 

Victor shook his head.  “I think it’s the stress.  I think it’s much deeper than just winning and body image.”

 

Yura studied the plate and then stated, “Let me know what you need me to do.  I cook most of the evening meals around here.”

 

Victor looked up and smiled gratefully.  Yura practically took over the kitchen after moving in and he got so much joy from it, they didn’t argue.  “And let me know how I can help. We’ll work together on this.” Glancing down the hall, he added, “I don’t want to worry the kids if we can avoid it.”

 

Yura huffed and muttered, “Like I don’t know that!”

 

Victor ruffled his hair only to get it shaken off and Yura stalked down the hall.  Returning to the dishes, he studied Yuuri’s plate and sighed before gathering the evidence and taking it to the sink.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first five days of December...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy this lovely long chapter! A lot's happening!
> 
> And thanks, Blu and Mags, for the edits!

* * *

 

**December 2017**

 

**_Friday, December 1_ **

 

The first day of December saw Yuuri shifting nervously next to his partner in front of Dr. Abramovich’s clinic.  “I don’t see why we are here. I already have an appointment on Tuesday.”

 

Pulling into a parking space, Victor held firm, “And it’s still on Tuesday but after what happened on Wednesday, I made a call...for both of us.”  He turned to look at his husband, hoping Yuuri would see they were there for Victor just as much.

 

“I didn’t mean to,” Yuuri defended, starting to scratch at his arms then moving his hands over the fabric of the sleeves, worrying them down so he wouldn’t scratch.

 

Victor watched the action, sighing, “I know, my Yuuri.  This isn’t...you didn’t do anything wrong. I’m just worried.  And...I needed to see him as well.”

 

Yuuri shifted in his seat and turned to the window.  Snow dusted the sidewalks and he could still see the tiny crystals falling, each individual flake a work of art.  He remembered catching them on glass when he was in grade school and seeing they weren’t truly perfect, each having something in the symmetry slightly off.  But they were still beautiful. He felt a hand on his back, tentative, unsure then settling and running up and down his back. Yuuri remained stiff at first, his chin dropping down.  _  I checked out again.  _  Slowly he turned to face Victor.  Taking a deep breath, he nodded. “Okay...we’ll see what he has to say.”  Opening the door, he tested the surface before standing up. “Is this just a couples session?”

 

Victor climbed out of the car and waited for Yuuri to close the door, locking it behind him.  “It’s a couples and two individual sessions. Dr. Abramovich agreed to meet us early so we can go practice afterwards.”

 

Yuuri took a deep breath and let it out slowly.  With a sharp nod, he made firm steps towards the building.  Victor fell in beside him wanting to touch him but not sure if it was welcome.  He instead opened the door, Yuuri moving fast through the door, quickly avoiding Victor’s hand that would normally guide him into the room.  __ Victor dropped the hand that had barely missed brushing the back of Yuuri’s jacket,  _ Oh, yeah...Yuuri is still pissed. _

 

They checked in, greeted by the receptionist who offered them tea or coffee.  Yuuri accepted a cup of tea but Victor chose coffee. The surprised look from Yuuri prompted his explanation, “Headache.”  It was a half truth. Yuuri didn’t need to know his unrest kept him awake.

 

Once inside the office, the knowing doctor studied the two of them before asking, “What’s been going on?”

 

Yuuri settled on the sofa and focused on his teacup not ready to open up.  Victor sat next to him but respected the space between them. Seeing Yuuri refusing to begin he sighed and picked up.  It was only fair, after all, he was the one that had dragged them both there. “I am realizing I’ve been neglecting my self care, allowing busyness to keep me from seeing how unsettled I am.”

 

Yuuri looked up at him in surprise.  He didn’t say anything but Victor knew he heard.

 

Abramovich caught the look, however, and pressed him.  “And you, Yuuri...what are you thinking?”

 

Yuuri focused on a spot on a worn patch on the carpet while he composed his thoughts.  “I...hate that I’m disrupting everyone’s lives. And…” He looked up at Victor, holding his eyes with something akin to hurt.  “You...never told me. You just took care of all of us.”

 

Victor shrugged, but kept his eyes on Yuuri’s face, “You normally don’t need me to...which is why I know how bad you are doing.”

 

Yuuri refocused on the place in the carpet once more, frayed strands working their way out of the weave.   _ Did a piece of furniture sit there for a time, the leg moving back and forth as someone sat in it?  _  Looking back up, he defended, “I’m getting help.”

 

“I think...you are doing the bare minimum,” Victor argued.  “I know for a fact that Yakov and Lilia told you to do what you need to do.”

 

Yuuri huffed, but there was an edge of anger in it.  Like he was building towards an explosion which had been simmering over.  “I  _ need  _ to be practicing right now.  The Grand Prix Final is just around the corner.”

 

Victor sighed, studying him with thin lips.  “Yuuri, you know just as well as I do that the Grand Prix Series and Final aren’t actually that important.  It’s like extra competition practice to help us to move onto Worlds. We showcase our programs to judges, get their feedback, and make adjustments based on those, but they never tell us anything we don’t already know.”  He grimaced as Yuuri’s eyes traveled back to that damned spot on the carpet, “Dammit Yuuri! Half the judges at those things aren’t even retired skaters… one never even skated in her whole life! Sometimes I think they just get recruits from a local retirement center and buy them nice coats.  It’s just a cash grab for the industry and a chance for some of the younger skaters to get their legs under them.” He watched his husband’s smile sneak up to his lips, knowing Victor was correct. Victor calmed, but kept his words just as sincere, “But there are also other competitions. Nebelhorn, the Asian Open, Finlandia, and many others to prepare you for Worlds and Olympics, along with a host of exhibitions to perfect your relationship with the audience.  Yet, you focus on this one little thing.”

 

Yuuri worried at his sleeves as he found his words.  “That’s where I would find you,” he whispered. “I had to climb through the series to be with you.”

 

Victor shook his head, “Yuuri…”

 

Yuuri turned, snapping his head around, “We were at Worlds...together...several times.”  His eyes misted over with the memory of defeat and, worse, mediocrity. “You never saw me.”

 

Victor’s lips parted, surprised by the realization, that this competition has importance for more than figure skating.  “I saw you…”

 

Yuuri softened, putting a hand on his husbands, “I blended in...I was a face in the crowd.  But at the Grand Prix Final, I...was one in six. The field is narrowed. It forced you to see me...although I thought you hadn’t, not really, when you offered me a commemorative photo.”  A small smile found its way to the surface at that confession.

 

Victor chuckled at the memory.  “Yuuri, I remembered you. I...was so focused inward, sometimes it was hard for me to look outside myself.  But...if you’d come to speak to me, I would have met you where you were. As it was, I thought I’d fucked up...because when I did see you, I wanted to know you.”

 

Yuuri gave him a soft smile before sobering and continuing his story.  “That night...in Sochi...I was terrified to meet you. I had already run from you once.  I had failed so miserably...how could I even stand before you? But then I worried I’d never get another chance.  At Worlds...like I said...I’d be lost in the crowd of other figure skaters. It had to be there, that night. But...I messed up.  Again. I drank too much trying to quiet my anxiety. But...you took care of me anyway. I was overwhelmed. And...when you walked away, I did what I always do when I’m overwhelmed.  I ran.”

 

“I was worried about you and didn’t know how to find you,” Victor whispered.

 

Yuuri nodded, continuing his explanation.  “I just wanted a quiet place to figure out these emotions running through me.  They were both too much and not enough. I...didn’t expect them. I...was a fan.  I thought that’s all it was...I was meeting my idol, the one who inspired me in my own career...but then...we danced together.”  He closed his eyes, allowing those emotions to fill him, a slight swaying in his shoulders as he allowed the images slide through his mind.

 

He opened his eyes, turning to focus on Victor as he confessed, “It was so much more...and I didn’t know how to process it.  I’d never felt that way. About anyone.”

 

“Yuuri…” Victor breathed, his hands taking Yuuri’s, the teacup long forgotten on the end table.  He ran his thumb over the soft part of Yuuri’s hand.

 

Yuuri’s expression turned dark, the memory soured by later events.  “But then... _ they _ happened and it felt like my world had been ripped to shreds.”

 

Victor fought against the urge to pull his husband into his arm, knowing the younger man had to get all of this out.  Holding onto Yuuri’s hands, he squeezed them grounding him.

 

Yuuri then found a smile, a bittersweetness on the edge.  “And...you came. You gave me something to hold onto. Pulled me from the darkness.  And...you always do that. And I always take from you…” He let go and turned away from Victor, his eyes resting on the carpet, a moment of silence before he looked up once more to Victor and added, “You are amazing and strong and I never want to take that for granted.  But sometimes my pain is so big that I can’t see yours...and I need you to tell me.”

 

“I...didn’t want to add to your burdens,” Victor whispered.

 

Yuuri shook his head sadly, it was that very statement that did add to his burdens.  Knowing he was being kept out of sharing Victor’s pain only hurt Yuuri more. “I...knew I was adding to everyone’s stress.  I just...I can’t seem to break free of this. Ever since the prison riot...I’ve been off balance. I can’t seem to recenter.  I’m anxious. But it’s more than that...I’m...depressed. I need help prying myself out of the walls that I built and have trapped me inside.  But...I don’t know how to do this. It’s got a much greater hold than earlier depressions. I can’t...I’m stuck.”

 

Victor studied Yuuri for a moment before he asked, “Have you been eating?”

 

Yuuri blinked at him, and then he frowned as he thought about it.  “No, not really. I try to eat extra when I do have a little appetite.  But no, I’m not. Not like I should.”

 

“I didn’t realize…”  Victor’s eyes shifted from Yuuri’s face with a sudden memory and realization, then came back to the brown. “You cover it up with a napkin when I’m distracted by the kids, don’t you?”

 

Yuuri nodded.  “I...didn’t want to worry you.  It’s not that I don’t want to eat.  Nothing...tastes good. Nothing...smells good.  Nothing on the plate is worth the effort. I put it in my mouth and just chewing it is chore.  I just find myself moving it back and forth on my plate.”

 

Abramovich listened to the exchange making notes on his charts before he decided, “We’ve finally opened some of the doors we need to address.  Victor, I’m going to ask you to step out right now and I’m going to work with Yuuri one-on-one. However, I’m going to prescribe some lab tests.  Not eating is a Catch 22 with depression because without proper nutrition, you’re off balance. I want to find out your deficiencies. They can aggravate your anxiety and depression, your body chemistry thrown off.  I suggest a complete physical.”

 

Yuuri nodded.  Victor took it in and agreed.  “I’ll make some calls and get him in.  Yakov suggested the team nutritionist as well.  More controlled diets during our training times.”

 

Yuuri groaned but Victor cut him off.  “They aren’t that bad. I lived on it for a while.  Well, it was necessary for me to be allowed back on the ice.”

 

Yuuri looked up at him sharply surprised by this revelation.  Victor shrugged. “You’re not the only one who battles with food.  Mine was for stupid reasons. I...was trying to find an edge. I had been stuck at silver and needed something to change the game and I thought being slimmer might help with rotation.  Yakov informed me that wasn’t the game changer and took away my ice privileges until I was over the line.”

 

“H-he warned me about the line,” Yuuri murmured quietly.  “I...really wasn’t trying  _ not  _ to eat.”

 

“We’ll work together on this.  All of this. With Dr. Abramovich.  With anyone we need to get you through this.  Okay?”

 

Yuuri nodded and watched him leave the office.  Turning back to the doctor, he pulled his feet up on the sofa into a butterfly, holding his ankles.  “So...what now?”

 

“You opened up quite a bit.  How are you feeling?”

 

Yuuri considered the question chewing on his lip.  “I...feel vulnerable...like I’m a lot of trouble...like everyone else should take care of themselves and let me work through this on my own.”

 

From his seat the doctor, nodded, but then countered, “You’ve been working through this on your own.  How’s it working for you?”

 

Yuuri huffed at Abramovich’s skill at getting right to the heart of the matter.  “It’s...not. I’m worse. I should have come sooner.”

 

The doctor hummed thoughtfully.  “Not necessarily. It might have delayed it.  If you hit it at just the right point, we might have been able to flip it...might have been able to prevent the nutritional deficiencies.  But really, we are where we are at this point because this is what you need. And you’re getting help. You just need to quit fighting it.”

 

“I...I…”  He paused, looking up at the doctor with cinnamon brown eyes.  “Is that what I’m doing?”

 

A small smile darted across the doctor’s lips.  This may have been a foundational change to Yuuri but the doctor had been in this scenario dozens of times, often with the same patients repeatedly.  “Yes...for some reason you won’t let yourself have the good things in your life.”

 

“I...don’t deserve them,” Yuuri whispered even as he rocked back and forth.

 

“Who does?” Abramovich asked.

 

Yuuri looked up surprised.  “I...don’t know…”

 

“We always think on terms of what we deserved...some think they deserve more, some less.   The fact is, it doesn’t matter. When good things come to us, we take them and put them to good use, offering good things in return...maybe not right away, perhaps not until we’re back in a good place, but when you are back in a good place, you can give back.  It’s a trade...but even if you can’t give back right now, I know you will later. Take what you need now. Accept the good things offered to you, the helping hands, the support. See who you need to see to pull you on through...and remember, healing is a process.  The deeper the hurt, the longer the process.”

 

Yuuri considered his words and nodded.  “I...still feel on edge. I am not sure why.  But I will open up more and let people help.”

 

The older doctor smiled affectionately, then inhaled and approached the problem in a businesslike manner, taking it apart, piece by piece.  “As for the why, you push your pain back. Out of sight, out of mind. But it’s not gone, it is merely simmering in the background...until something pulls it forward.”

 

“Like the riots,” Yuuri whispered.

 

“The riots and...we’re approaching the anniversary of when it happened.”

 

Yuuri gasped and whispered, “Oh...it’s been three years.”  His eyes lifted as his lips parted. Licking them, he asked, “Why isn’t it over?”

 

Frowning, he hated to deliver this news.  Those monsters were sentenced to prison, but it didn’t mean that Yuuri wouldn’t be serving a sentence of his own as well, as horribly unfair as that was.  “Honestly, you may have PTSD symptoms twenty years from now. With continued therapy, they will decrease and may seem to disappear...then an unexpected trigger will crop up.”

 

“So...two steps forward, one step back.”  Yuuri then laughed bitterly. “It’s a good thing I’m a dancer.”  Flicking his eyes up, he asked, “What now?”

 

Abramovich considered his patient warily then started writing on a fresh page.  “I want to see journals on Tuesday. Food logs included now that we’ve uncovered that problem.  I want to you to list any self-destructive or perceived negative behaviors...and I want you to offer a countermove beside it.”

 

“A countermove?”  Yuuri narrowed his eyes as the unfamiliar term.

 

“Yes...we need to rebuild your strategies...and I want you to become proactive about it.”

 

Yuuri nodded taking the paper with his orders clearly written on it including the doctor’s appointment and the nutritionist visit.  He stood up weakly. Overwhelmed but wanting to move forward. Looking at Abramovich, he murmured, “Thank you.”

 

As he approached the door, the doctor stilled him with his words.  “Yuuri...this is good. Getting help like this. But you should still expect bad days.”

 

Yuuri studied his hand on the doorknob before answering, “I do.”

 

* * *

  
  


Victor watched Yuuri enter the reception room and stop to talk to the receptionist about his next appointment time.  Coming before Victor, he whispered, “I guess you’d better get in there.” Victor glanced back as he started into the office and watched Yuuri take out a notebook and start to organize his ideas on paper.

 

He closed the door and turned to Abramovich.  “I am grateful you got us in like this.”

 

The doctor indicated to the sofa opposite him.  “I was expecting this to come soon. Let me hear more about you, Victor.”

 

Victor sighed as he took his place on the sofa, his body straight, his hands on his knees as he considered the last few months.  “I’ve been watching over Yuuri and seeing him fall apart before me...and it was so slow. Nothing drastic. Then I realized how far he’d descended.  And I was helpless to save him.”

 

Abramovich considered his words carefully.  “It’s important to you to  _ save  _ Yuuri...but I think this time Yuuri needs to save himself.  How do you feel about this?”

 

Victor frowned, his forehead furrowing.  “I...don’t know how to let go.”

 

“Don’t get me wrong in saying this.”  Abramovich shifted forward in his seat, catching the distress in the younger man.  “You can make sure he’s safe...but you can’t fix this. Yuuri doesn’t even know what  _ this  _ is.”

 

Victor looked up, “Do you?”

 

He smiled and shrugged.  “I’ve got an idea. What about you?”

 

Victor licked his lips, as if deciding for himself where the problem lie.  “I think...it’s the riot. But I don’t think that’s all.”

 

“It does seem to be holding on.  Tell me, what do you need to do? For your sake as well.”

 

“I...have started asking for help.”

 

“Good...is that how you ended up here?”

 

Victor considered that thought and shook his head.  “Not exactly...my friend Chris had a firm talk with me.  I realized...I was keeping my own emotions hidden inside.”

 

“Sometimes it’s good to have a friend like that.  What else is concerning you?”

 

Victor frowned, his voice dropping slightly, “I don’t want to worry the kids.”

 

The doctor smiled from the chair and thought of his own family.  “I’m going to let you in on something...the kids already know something is wrong.  But they have active imaginations and will fill in the gaps in their own way. It’s best to talk to them and be upfront.”

 

Victor’s eyes widened thinking of the little signs in Nina and Andrei, even Yura.  “What...do I even say?”

 

“Talk it over with Yuuri and then both of you talk to them, together.  But it should include Yuuri’s struggles...and your own. They will likely want to take an active role in your recoveries...and that’s good.  So many parents hide their weaknesses when really it’s an opportunity to build skills. Life is hard. Best to meet it head on.”

 

Victor considered these words of wisdom then asked, “And how do I help Yuuri?”

 

Abramovich’s hand spread wide.  “This isn’t about Yuuri...that’s what the first part of the session was about.  How do you help Victor?”

 

Victor started for a moment.  Taken aback he stammered, “I...don’t.  I take care of everyone else.”

 

“And your needs go on the back burner,” Abramovich surmised.

 

He nodded as he considered the past months.  “What...should I do differently?”

 

“I could give you some quick fixes.  But I’m afraid these will become more tasks, chores to reach a goal that you had no part in creating.  Let’s instead set some new goals. What do you want to happen?”

 

“I...want to have Yuuri well.”  The answer came out too quickly, he was sincere but that goal wasn’t really aimed at himself.

 

The doctor had no intention of letting Victor off that easily.  “Of course...and we’re working on this. Those are Yuuri’s goals.  What about you? What brought you here?”

 

Victor thought about it and then it all seemed to roll up in one word.  “I need to decrease my stress.” He watched Abramovich write that word  _ destress  _ down in large letters.  “Time to myself,” he considered and again watched the doctor write it down.  Tapping his lip, he added, “Figuring out how I feel.”

 

“That’s three solid goals to work with.  So I want you to work on strategies for each of these.  Start out with journaling about it, freeform, brainstorm.  Just get the ideas down. And then I want you to reclaim half an hour each day to yourself.  Take a bath. Read a book. Go for a walk. Something just for you.”

 

“Can Yuuri join me?” Victor negotiated.

 

Abramovich inhaled sharply and shook his head.  “This is time for  _ you  _ to reset...with Yuuri, your thoughts will be on him, not you.  You can take a second pocket of time with your partner...but this one needs to be dedicated to you.”

 

Victor nodded accepting the piece of paper.  “We go next week to Japan. Tuesday evening.”

 

“Yes, Yuuri wanted to see if he can change his appointment to Monday.  But if not, I want to see him Tuesday morning before you go.”

 

“I’ll make sure he’s here.  What about...us?”

 

“Don’t worry.  I’ll set you both up for the twelfth.  The day after you return. I suspect you both will need it.”  As Victor stood up to leave, Abramovich added, “It was good you came.  Stay encouraged.”

 

Victor nodded, offering a weak smile.  “It’s going to take work, isn’t it?”

 

“Always...but worth it.”

 

In the next room, Yuuri stood as he entered and began packing his journal into his bag.  As Victor stepped before his partner, he murmured, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you where we were going.”

 

“How fucked up am I?” Yuuri asked in a soft voice although he could hear the harsh edge.

 

“Yuuri…”

 

“I’m sorry...that’s not what I mean.  I just…” Yuuri closed his eyes and restarted.  “I’m sorry. I...I want to be better. I just can’t get it out.”

 

“I’m here for you, Yuuri.  Always. I just have to take care of myself so that I’m at my best to help you.  That’s why we are here.”

 

“We’ve gone backwards.”

 

“That’s okay...I think we were told to expect that early on.  So...let’s choose this moment to move forward.” Victor held out his hand.  Yuuri stared at it a moment before taking it.

 

* * *

  
  


In the car, Yuuri stared out the side glass while Victor negotiated into traffic.  “I...want to write a letter.”

 

“What kind of letter?” Victor asked.

 

Yuuri breathed for a few minutes, collecting his thoughts.  “To them...to each of them. I think...I need to get all of this anger out of my system.  Like lancing a wound. I don’t want to send it. I’m not ready to write it. But...I think I need to.”

 

“You danced before...and skated...perhaps it is time to find a new medium.  But you still need to take care of yourself...and if you are struggling with that, I’ll help...and Yura...and Andrei...and even Nina.  And I can guarantee Yakov and Lilia will become involved.”

 

“I hate this,” Yuuri admitted.

 

“I know...but I love you too much not to push this.”

 

* * *

  
  


That afternoon, Yuuri visited the team doctor, blood tests and a full physical taken.  “Some of these tests will need to be sent off but others, I’ll be able to call you back on Monday.”

 

“Make sure to send them to Dr. Abramovich,” Yuuri murmured.  “Do you think...it’s bad?”

 

The doctor frowned as he considered his patient.  “I can predict a vitamin D deficiency. Which will likely lead to a magnesium deficiency.  However, I’ve ordered a full panel. I know you’ve lost weight and mentioned it to Yakov. Your color is also off and there is a dullness to your expression.”

 

“I’m diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder and that sometimes brings depression to the surface.  I’m working with my psychiatrist on a drug free treatment.”

 

“Well, nutritional supplements could help with that.  It replaces what you need, what you lack. It’s not the same as taking medication to control your depression.  I can work in partnership with your psychiatrist to help you achieve this.”

 

“Thank you,” Yuuri murmured.

 

* * *

  
  


Yuuri looked up as Yura placed the warm borscht in front of him, sour cream dolloped in the center.  “Thank you,” he said with a grateful smile.

 

“Thank me by eating it,” Yura stated pointedly.

 

Yuuri sighed realizing the teen had noticed as well.  He nodded and began eating under his watchful eye. His meals would be observed over the next few weeks and he would report to the nutritionist daily, by email while they traveled.

 

Nina scrunched her face up in confusion.  “Why is Yura watching Chichi eat?”

 

Yuuri took a deep breath and looked up at Victor.  They had discussed talking to the kids earlier. It was time.  “I...am not sick and I hate that I worried you. I am...having trouble with my anxiety.  Because of that, I haven’t been eating well. So...I have to have someone watch what I eat right now and they have to sign off that they saw me complete my meals.”

 

“You’re not eating?” Andrei asked, his brow knitting.

 

Yuuri shook his head.  “I have...little to no appetite.”

 

“Can we help?” Nina asked.

 

“Yes, you can,” Victor answered warmly.  “We are all going to help Chichi get better.”

 

“How?” both kids asked.  Yura listened to the conversation.  He’d already been brought up to date when Yakov talked with Yuuri about his expectations.

 

“I need periods of quiet...if I don’t take time to myself, I can’t reset my thoughts.  I know I’ve been difficult, trying to do everything to keep busy. That’s a distraction.  If I start taking away from your help around the house, I need you to take it back from me,” Yuuri answered.

 

“What about me?” Nina asked bouncing up and down in her chair not wanting to be left out.

 

“Sometimes it helps to have someone take a nap with me,” Yuuri murmured.  “That way I don’t feel so alone and rest more.”

 

“And we’ve talked about giving you more responsibility because you’re getting bigger and stronger,” Victor added.  “Yura would like to start showing you how to cook and Andrei will show you how to do your laundry from the wash to putting it away.”

 

Turning to Yura, her eyes danced and sparkled.  “You are going to show me how to cook?”

 

The older blond smiled warmly.  “I was about your size when Grandpa started teaching me.  I...want to pass that down. So if you’d like to learn, I’ll be happy to teach you.”

 

“And when we take our night cooking,” Yuuri added, “you can help us as well.”

 

They laughed as she clapped her hands excitedly.  “I like being bigger and stronger and having more re...re...responsibilities.”

 

* * *

 

**_Saturday, December 2_ **

 

Victor walked with Makkachin while Yuuri napped with Cocoa and Nina.   _ Time to myself. _  He frowned feeling lost.   _ How am I feeling? _

 

Yuuri stared at the words in his journal, his brow wrinkled in thought.

 

_ I want to write a letter to my attackers.  To the men in prison. To Sasha. Is this self-destructive or is it a countermove?  I don’t intend to send it but I need to purge my emotions. _

  
  
  


Victor considered his goals.  _  Destress.  More time. My own feelings. _

 

* * *

  
  


**_Sunday, December 3_ **

 

Yuuri woke up in the middle of the night.  Slipping carefully from Victor’s arms, he welcomed the poodle when Cocoa jumped down lightly and followed him into the other room.  In the dim light of the vent hood in the kitchen, he added water to his electric kettle and prepared a cup of matcha.  _ I’ll have to get more when I’m in Japan.   _ The green powder was soon joined by the hot water and he stirred it together.

 

He moved to the living room leaving the lights off.  The silence of the house settled around him as he curled up in the corner of the couch, his feet underneath him.  Cocoa rested her chin on his hip. Sipping from his cup, he ignored the tremor in his hand. Stretching out his other arm, he curled his fingers into Cocoa’s fur.

 

_ Do I remember the nightmare?  Do I want to? _

 

He shivered and noticed the wind whistling outside.   _ Winter spirits, can you freeze over these unsettled feelings?  Haven’t I sacrificed for you every year on the ice? _

 

He knew his thoughts went unheard.  Setting down his now empty cup, he scooted down and rested his head on the arm, his fingers playing with Cocoa’s fur.  Twisting, he stretched out and felt her weight on his chest, both hands sliding into her fur and scratching her ears. “Do you want to go outside for a few minutes?”

 

She lifted her head at the magic word  _ outside  _ and wagged her tail.  Gathering his winter overcoat, boots, gloves, scarf and boots, he slid open the back door and led her outside sitting on the bench to the picnic table out back.  Cocoa took care of her business then came back to Yuuri. She circled and sat in front of him. After another minute, she stood up placing a paw on Yuuri’s knee. Her human continued to staring ahead into the darkness.

 

* * *

  
  


Victor shivered, the cool air curling around him.  Makka was pawing at him to get his attention. Stirring, he looked around and realized Yuuri wasn’t with him.  Reaching for his robe and slippers as he climbed out of bed, he went out the door then narrowed his eyes in confusion at the open patio door.  Makkachin ran to the open door and then turned back, a sharp bark answered by a sharper bark alerting him that his Yuuri was outside.

 

He found the still figure sitting in the darkness.  Sliding his arms around Yuuri, he murmured, “How long have you been out here?”

 

Yuuri looked up as if startled out of a dream, blinking, disoriented.  “I-I don’t remember,” he whispered.

 

Victor kissed Yuuri’s cheek and felt the coldness on his skin.  “You’ve gotten chilled. Let’s get you back inside.”

 

Securing the door behind them, he turned to find Yuuri standing in the middle of the kitchen.   _ I’ll have to start setting the alarms before bed _ .  He began to remove Yuuri’s winter clothes and helped him out of his boots.  “How about a shower?” he suggested.

 

Yuuri lifted his eyes in confusion.  “Why?”

 

Victor realized Yuuri was still out of it, “To chase away your chill...you were outside long enough to chill your skin.  Then we can finish warming up in bed.”

 

Yuuri seemed to be considering those words and finally agreed after a time.  “I...shouldn’t be alone,” he admitted.

 

Victor didn’t comment but took his words with a grim line on his lips.  Following Yuuri into their private bath, he set the taps and helped Yuuri finish undressing.  Then feeling Yuuri needed more assistance, took his own clothes off before leading the younger man into the steamy space.

 

Yuuri wrapped his arms around Victor, surprising him, resting his cheek on the taller man’s shoulder.  Victor enfolded him, pressing his lips into Yuuri’s hair and feeling the body shake and sobs start to release.  He ran his hands up and down Yuuri’s back as he continued to cry in Victor’s arms.

 

It took almost half an hour and the water starting to cool for Yuuri to settle.  Wrapped in towels, they moved back into the bedroom and Yuuri dropped his towel sliding across to his side of the bed.  Victor followed, opening his arms to invite his husband close.

 

“Why am I like this?” Yuuri asked softly.

 

“We’re working on finding out.”

 

* * *

  
  


**_Monday, December 4_ **

 

Yuuri dully presented his journals to Dr. Abramovich.  “I have your tests,” the doctor responded. “I want you to add 5000 i.u.s of Vitamin D to your diet and 500 mg of Magnesium.  Make sure it’s not Magnesium Oxide. That has a laxative effect and the last thing you need. I suggest  [ Magnesium Glycinate ](https://hormonesbalance.com/articles/best-form-of-magnesium/) for absorbability.”

 

“Will this...help?” Yuuri asked, his frown moving into his eyes.

 

“We may have to make adjustments, but yes, it will help.  These two things can throw off your adrenal balance.”

 

Yuuri blinked, a bit of life coming into his eyes.  “I never thought about a vitamin deficiency. It still...I went outside the other night and sort of...checked out.”

 

Abramovich looked troubled.  “Did you go alone?”

 

Yuuri shook his head, “Cocoa was with me and she tried to get my attention.  I think...Makka heard her cries outside and woke up Victor. I guess I left the door open.”

 

He frowned and wrote some more notes.  “I think when you return, we need to revisit your EMDR therapy.”

 

Yuuri nodded, drawing in a shaky breath.  “I...need to compete in Nationals a few weeks later.”

 

“Don’t worry.  I’ll get you on track.  You were successful before.  We just need to get you back to where you were.  Anything else?”

 

“I am still having nightmares...but I can’t remember them.  Just the disquiet that follows.”

 

Abramovich nodded, this was something he was waiting to hear from the young man.  “Your subconscious is trying to work out your struggles. That’s not unusual.”

 

Taking a deep breath and letting it out.  Yuuri glanced over at Cocoa lying by his side.  She’d been accompanying him more and more. “I think it’s good for Cocoa to stay with me for now.  I need...extra support.”

 

“I agree.”

 

* * *

  
  


[ **December 5, 2017 - Russia Banned from the Winter Olympics by the I.O.C.** ](https://www.nytimes.com/2017/12/05/sports/olympics/ioc-russia-winter-olympics.html)

 

Early in the morning of December 5th, Yakov called his skaters in for a meeting.  They were all muttering between them about how they needed to be packing and preparing for their flights.  Each acknowledged the oddity of being called together like this. Yuuri wasn’t part of the call in and Victor fidgeted, worrying about leaving him alone.  Yuuri reassured him that he’d be busy organizing their luggage and confirming the kids’ care.

 

There were no minced words, no softening of the news.  Yakov walked in, looked at his skaters and told them that Russia had been banned for state sponsored doping.  The quiet in the room was shocking, Yura who ran his mouth like  _ that  _ was Olympic sport was dumbfounded.  Then, almost in unison, the room erupted.

 

“What does this mean?” Victor asked.

 

“It’s fucking bullshit!” Yura shouted throwing his phone across the room.

 

They all sat in the room with Yakov as he went over the sanctions.  “You’ll need to make a petition to compete,” he concluded.

 

Mila frowned as she looked from one to the other.  “But we won’t be able to wear Russian colors...carry our flag...who are we?”

 

“Neutral uniforms,” Victor reminded her.

 

“So what are we?  Fucking Switzerland?” Yura exclaimed.

 

Georgi frowned as he considered the options.  “I’m clean...I’m going to skate.”

 

The others looked at him then Victor stood up and put a hand on his shoulder.  “As will I. I won’t suffer for the sins of the other athletes from other sports, nor for a government that doesn’t even respect my rights.”  Nods and affirmations echoed around the room. Now for the paperwork.

 

* * *

  
  


NOTES:

 

[ Taking Care of You ](https://www.caregiver.org/taking-care-you-self-care-family-caregivers)

 

[ 8 Things Caregivers Can Do to Take Care of Themselves ](http://www.futureofpersonalhealth.com/prevention-and-treatment/8-things-caregivers-can-do-to-take-care-of-themselves)

 

Those who are constantly taking care of an unwell loved one often are forgotten in the situation.  I watched my mother struggle with this. Everyone (his family, not us...my sister and I are good kids) just expected her to handle things as she watched her husband slowly pass away.  And she was exhausted, physically worn out. My sister was there with her husband to offer physical help. I was a phone call away for mental help and drove in as needed...and finally, one of his kids stepped in to help.  What people didn’t realize was that she needed some time to herself, just a few minutes where she didn’t have to worry. So remember that if you have a loved one who is a caregiver...and help them to get their thirty minutes.

 

[ 10 Nutritional Deficiencies that may cause Depression ](https://www.everydayhealth.com/columns/therese-borchard-sanity-break/nutritional-deficiencies-that-may-cause-depression/) \- Note: I found most of these listed in another article about anxiety...because, depression and anxiety are bedfellows, perhaps.  I know from experience, that Vitamin D and Magnesium play a part in my own difficulties.

 

[ Therapy for Dissociation ](https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/dissociation) \- If you’ve not read the other parts, then why are you starting with part 4?  ;) Otherwise, you should be familiar with Yuuri’s journey and his treatments with EMDR.  Early on in his therapy, they warned he may have to go back from time to time and reinforce his treatment with more therapy.

 

Next chapter, we’re at Japan and the Grand Prix Final!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! School has started and I'm trying to wrap up one fic at a time. I'll still maintain posting but I want to clear things off of my plate because it's busy. I've written Lies. I'm 8 chapters from finishing L&F. And then there is this one. I don't have any more chapters ready for this but I need to finish what I currently have. So it's sort of on hiatus but I'm not making it formal. I'll get back to this one as soon as I finish L&F. 8 chapters...I could finish that by the end of this weekend but to speak honestly, it will probably be the following. Then I have to return to this, re-familiarize myself with its plotline, and continue. One isn't more important than the other but...I have lot's on my plate. My brain can only hold onto one story at the moment. So...one at a time...but I'll post them weekly as I have them available. And hopefully I'll be back to this story soon! :) So...read my other stories and I'll be back soon.


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